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Daphne

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About Daphne

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  • Birthday 03/03/1949

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    CMF
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    Memphis, TN
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. As some have suggested, perhaps we'll see more of what real swinging is about in clubs. Do clubs generally have age limits?
  2. Mr. Prufrock (by the way, is that from the poem? I was also referring to the women who just lay there while the man worked, seemingly uninterested. Never saw any movement from many, not even touching the man. Expressions remained noncommittal...disengaged.
  3. Mbgallas : Maybe I can help...that is if it's not been tried on your Mr. Friendly. Every man I've ever given a BJ to has appeared to be pretty rapturous, so I thought I knew everything there was about this fun activity. HOWEVER, I learned something at a seminar recently that sent my guy to an even higher level. Back side of the penis there is a small spot right above the rim surrounding the head that is equivalent of the woman's G-spot when pressed on by the tip of woman's finger or tongue. Press kinda hard. If a woman hasn't it this spot, tell her about it and see if it increases your sensations.
  4. I've been told by several men that I have a tight pussy. The first time I heard that I was quite surprised as I have had 2 children and thought I was probably otherwise. The first saying this was quite large in girth....7 x 6 1/2". I'd never been with a man that thick and the first time I saw him, I blurted out, "It's a damn tree trunk!" He was flattered.....but I was concerned it would fit.....thankfully it did. So I thought him saying I was tight was simply because of the size difference between us. He had been a swinger in the 70s and said there was only one woman he remembered and it was because she was tight, and I was the same. But others have been average and said the same. My Love is not average...at least I don't think so.... 7 1/2 by 5 1/2 ...and he is perfect for me. He also says my pussy is tight. Anyway, I would like men's opinions on our 'opening', and like the questions regarding a man's equipment, does a woman's size matter? My guy was with one lady who was just so loose/large that nothing happened and he had to stop...no friction...which surprised him as she was quite petite. As an aside...For fun I took a photo of my guy's erect penis. One day my SIL was looking at photos from a European trip I'd just taken. Sitting beside her I saw that the next image was going to be of that perfect dick...she looked so surprised when I grabbed the iPad from her so quickly...TMI for my SIL!!!!
  5. I am fascinated by the different reactions to the comments made by this fellow and I can see both sides. The comment about the youth minister could have been 1. a lame joke. 2. bragging. 3.`would you believe? 4. just passing on information (gossip) which could brook that woman's confidentiality.....and subsequently cost her her job and hopes of ever getting another one in a church... and you all are probably not the only one's he's told. 5. etc., etc., etc. Whatever his reasons, harmless or skanky, the ONLY important thing is how you two felt. And as so many have said, if you're uncomfortable, trust that. Even if his comments were innocent (???) if you all get together they will be on your minds and influence any interaction. While we are brand new in the LS, like the rest of you we are not new to life and relationships. No need to give this man an explanation...just not a good fit.
  6. Very good and comprehensive post. PleasingHer. Made a lot of sense. I do need to clarify, however. It wasn't just no moaning or heavy breathing, it was the total lack of movement in most of the women, they just lay there, arms at side, seemingly making no contact with their partner.
  7. The behavior we saw was in the 'open' playrooms with open curtains. There were 3 types of rooms. 1. Totally open, curtains pulled back for full viewing. 2. sheer curtains which gave a hazy look at the couples, so sorta semi private but not really. 3. closed rooms. It was awkward at first watching the couples but we realized that they had chosen to be on display with those open curtains and had read posts here that some couples get off on showing off...so we were expecting theatrics, if you will. Not passionless, no energy or connection sex.
  8. Hi, we are brand new. To learn more about the LS we recently attended the Swingers Convention in New Orleans. We were there to observe, not play, to get our feet wet, so to speak, and to attend some of the lectures. First, let me say we had a wonderful time and met some great people. Second, I hope my post does not offend anyone, that's not my intention...we're just `wondering'. Based on watching Swing we had expectations on what we'd see. Maybe that was naiveté? BTW, we met and had a lengthy private chat with Michael. Such a pleasant man...and quite humble. He wanted to introduce us to Holli, took us to her and we just chatted with her for a minute as we needed to be somewhere else but she is equally nice. We were really excited to observe in the playroom, talked a lot about it during our drive down to New Orleans. In the playroom, however, we were confounded. People for the most part appeared disinterested and/or disengaged from what they were doing. One man was receiving a BJ while he stood, just looking around and at the ceiling...as though bored out of his mind, certainly not paying attention to the woman giving it to him....we never saw him ever even look at her. Facial expression never changed. Woman was giving it all she had and it appeared that she really knew what she was doing. I love giving a BJ and have never been done so a man did not indicate pleasure. Had I been her I would have excused myself, "I seem to be keeping you from something more important," and left. We went to another room, returned, she was still working on him and he still looked totally bored. This had been going on for at least 15 minutes with no apparent end in sight. My guy said she was going to need traction when/if he gave it up! We also saw a few men going down on women for lengthy times...women did not move...they could have been asleep for all the response we saw.....and these men, like the first woman, seemed to be giving it all they had. Quite a few couples engaged in intercourse of various kinds. The rooms were, for the most part, totally silent, not even sounds of heavy breathing. In one room we did actually hear one woman moaning with pleasure, in another a young man was yelling, but others...nothing. We also didn't see women responding....just laying totally silent and unmoving during intercourse. I really love sex, and with my guy's attention it is impossible to lay still...my hips have a mind of their own, my arms are around him, holding him, clutching, fingers in his hair, making sounds of pleasure.... It would be obvious to anyone how much I am enjoying my guy. That's what we expected to see...but what we saw was almost a total lack of energy. We didn't see passion, excitement, `heh, I'm really glad to be with you', sounds of pleasure. They were here to have a good time but we didn't see anyone apparently having one. We wondered if what we see on Swing is acting, or if this is how `real people' have sex....silently, bodies not responding? We'd read on this site, and heard from some people we spoke to in New Orleans that some men are just duds, and some women are `cold fishes'....but this many people behaving this way in one place? Statistically impossible. My guy has made a point about women pretending to enjoy when with a bad lover....says it makes the guy think he's doing a good job. And, that not responding is honesty and could spur the man on to learn how to satisfy a woman. We also wondered if the passive women we saw just didn't like sex and were there simply for their husbands? A man I dated a few years ago was a SW in the 70s. He said many women were coerced by their men to be there and would have to get drunk to participate. A woman we met in New Orleans said she wanted to stop swinging, her husband did not, and she swung only to save her marriage. We went 2x to the Girls' room as that turns my guy on. Sadly it was empty each time. Only FF action was on the dance floor. We were all set to become quite sexually excited by action in the playroom and to get a private room and go for it. However, to our total surprise, the atmosphere was so stultifying that we were totally bored. How can anyone be bored watching people have sex? That's what we asked ourselves as we caught the elevator. My guy wondered if Convention sex is different than behavior at clubs? The guy I used to date said sometimes men would fall asleep on the mattress right after sex. We saw one man withdraw his penis and flat out fall sideways onto the mattress....actually bounced when he fell...not asleep, passed out, and he was out cold for quite some time. He was part of a 4some. My guy thought he needed medical attention and that 911 should be called, but as the other 3 just sat and talked while he was unconscious, we assumed this was just something he did!! Hmmm, may he did have an overpowering orgasm!! If so, good for him!! Thanks for comments about what we saw. We are still simply confounded.
  9. GoldCoCouple: Actually this guy was married. They'd been swinging since their marriage, he'd told my guy it saved their marriage as they were bored with each other very quickly. She wasn't with him when the above incident occurred. Please let us know what the etiquette is when a single woman/man, or a couple wants to approach a couple....or just one half of that couple. Guidelines would be appreciated.
  10. Another situation arose at the convention that I do not know if it is similar to the one with this woman or not. My guy was sitting on a long couch with a couple we were talking with on one side, another man on his right. I was in a chair facing the couple. My guy chatted briefly with the guy on his right, then got up to get something from our room. At that point the guy (we had not been introduced or spoken) hightailed it to my chair, sitting on the arm. As he was flirting strongly, he scooted off the arm, squeezing onto the cushion with me. Among other things, he told me `how popular' I'd be in the playroom, and what he'd `like to do to my pussy'. His hand slipped down my top as he talked, I blocked it casually. I didn't flirt back or respond, just listened as he talked. I'd already told him we were brand new and were at the convention to only observe, not play. When my guy came back, he stood close by, watching the scenario.....he'd not previously seen any man hit on me and I think he was amused. At this point my guy returned, just as the guy's hand started creeping up my leg, telling my guy that I had `great legs', my guy agreed (both men exaggerated greatly). I blocked his hand this time, as well. Guy seemed to have no intention of vacating his spot next to me so I got up and left with my guy. So, the Q perhaps should be.......although this man did not dismiss my guy nor tell him to go away, but he was attempting some sexual type moves.......is it acceptable in a SW setting to approach a woman in this manner without her man? My guy said when they were sitting on the couch chatting, the man said nothing about me to him. Only when my guy was gone did the man make his move. I didn't take offense at his actions, neither did my guy. He said he wasn't at all worried or jealous as he knew the man wasn't my type. Also we had agreed beforehand that we absolutely would not play and my guy just wanted to observe how I handled this man, knowing that i would. We just need to understand the boundaries and how singles approach couples. Sorry to be so naive, but we really are brand spanking new!!
  11. Thank all of you. At first we thought she was just harmlessly flirting and teasing, did not take her seriously....until it escalated. At no point did my guy play into her. At that point neither of us knew what to do. Had we been in any other setting it would have been easy to handle......and my guy would have politely blasted her for what she said to me....but this was an entirely new venue for us.....what was OK/not OK? Psychological problems? Without a doubt. Maybe as in `looney tunes' However, at her age some of the numbness could be hormonal...or rather lack of them. But as gynecologists, according to her, don't know anything, and she dismissed my suggestion of Welbutrin, I think obsessing is something she'd rather do than address her problem rationally.
  12. Thanks so much....no, we didn't take that last sentence as anything but helpful
  13. We are newbies. To get a feel for what the LS is about, we went to the Swingers' Convention in New Orleans last week....came away with Qs I'll place on different boards. This is my first one. I don't know if what I am relating was inappropriate so comments will be appreciated. But first I want to say how perfectly lovely everyone was to us. We had fun. Nice group of people. Single woman in her 60s was talking to us. We told her this was our first step into the LS and we were there to observe, not to play, we were very clear about that. She said all of the men she'd been with in the LS were bad lovers...hmmmmm, think that was maybe a slight exaggeration? LOL. She asked about my guy who was standing there and I said he was incredible in bed, lasted a long time and was extremely skilled. A very interested "Oh....." and she immediately moved closer to cuddle against him, he did not respond. She continued to make over him, saying, "We have to get together," waved her hand in a dismissive manner and told me, "Go away." At no time did my guy respond or encourage her, just stood there. Then she whispered in his ear that they had to get together. He took me by the hand and we walked away. We ran into her several more times....once at the dance. When I went to the bathroom she ran over to ask him to dance, he declined, she came back again to ask him while I was gone, he still declined. Still later she caught him when he headed to the bar, asking for our room, number....he did not give it to her. We have been reading posts on this board before joining today and knew there were rules about how to approach a couple, but as we are so new, we don't understand enough to know if a breach of conduct had been made.....we left our Emily Post Book on Etiquette at home! So I asked several women. "Did she ask you to play?" No, just wanted me to go away and then kept rubbing against and pestering my guy. All were surprised. They said she was rude and inappropriate. One thought that maybe the woman had seen me as `selling' my guy when I said how wonderful he is in bed. If that was the case, it was inadvertent, I was just answering her Q. I look forward to what you seasoned people have to say. Another part of this story was that she wanted to talk to me (I'm a nurse) about her inability to feel anything sexual...."My erogenous areas are numb," as she put it. I told her to see a gynecologist, she said none of them knew anything. We kept running into her and each time she kept after me to `help' her. I suggested she get Welburin. But she didn't seem to really want help, just to obsess. The last time she found us waiting for an elevator and wanted a conversation there....plus my number so she could call me at home. When I demurred, she critically asked, "Are you uncomfortable talking to a woman about sex?" "Not at a party or while waiting for an elevator," I replied. She ran to get something to write my number down....thankfully the elevator came. I didn't want to be rude but had she caught me I'd have given her a number.....and then when she called it, obviously not mine, the receiver would have indeed had a very weird call from I was identifying at this point as a very weird woman!! I look forward to your comments. Maybe I was totally wrong and this is acceptable behavior, if so, I need to know. Thank you.
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