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louisvillemojo

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About louisvillemojo

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  • Birthday 09/21/1983

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    Ky
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  1. Holidays suck when upset with spouse. Just trying to get thru each day. Seeing a counseler togeather, and he is also seeing a therepist and working a program for sex addiction. (Idk if i buy into the whole sex addict thing. He sure turned me down a lot.) But we are attenpting to work on things and i have been encouraged to wait at least 90 days before making any plans. He's sleeping in spare room now. He's kissing ass and doing all the right things but ive just lost so much respect for him... idk. Biggest issue right now is we have nothing to do. Our social life for years revolved around swinging events... clubs, parties, vacations, meet n greets.... hell 80% of our favorite people are swingers. And I dont want to tell them what happened. I'm embarressed and ashamed and that drama label would follow us forever. So we have nothing to do anymore. Its lonely and boring. I never realized how much swinging played into our lifes. We catch ourselves pointing out unicorns and pineapples in stores. Sexy talk is difficult. Just lots of little things. Any advice?
  2. Just trying to survive the holidays. Ill be posting a update in the thread. Thank you for asking.

  3. Just wanted to see how you were doing. Praying for the best outcome for you.

     

    J and D

  4. Thank you all for your replies. Today i'm pissed. Several swinger friends have wrote asking where we been. I gave generic excuse about being busy. I hate him. There went 80% of my friends. There went things i was looking forward too, like holiday parties, new years eve, already paid for lifestyle vacation in Jan. Ect ect I'm so angry and hurt. Why did he have to destroy my life and take so much from me? Why, why , why. That's all my life is anymore, constant pain and why's. I'm not ok, and don't even know how to be ok anymore. I can't believe this is my life. There is no joy or happiness, i'm barely functioning. Then i'm angry because it hurts so much and i allowed him to take this from me. He doesn't deserve my tears but I can't even stop crying. I'm angry with myself for being weak.
  5. 2 weeks in. Life is hell. Barely functioning. Std results are in and thankfully got a all clear. Repeat in 6 months just to be extra safe. He's sorry and he loves me and he wants to change and go to therepy and blah blah blah. But any question I ask his response is IDK. I'm down to 2 xanax a day instead of 4 but alternating between severe depression, anxiety, & rage. Even sleeping is hell waking up screaming and crying from dreams I can't remember. I still don't know what to do. How is it even possible to both love and hate someone so much at same time? I feel like this isnt real and if i could just wake up it would be ok. Who is this man? Was everything a lie? Does he even love me? How did I not know? This is devestating. I've had a lot of shitty things happen in life but this pain is unbelievable.... made worse because it happened before. If you believe in a God, please say a pray for me to find peace.
  6. Husband (m/36) and I (F/34) have been married 12 years, 2 kids, and swinging for a little over 3 years now. For background he had cheated before, we spent years working on it, we moved very slowly in baby steps thru swinging, and all has been great for years.... or so I thought. Past few months noticed by husband acting kinda distant. I talked to him about it and he said nothing was wrong. We had been on several fun trips over summer so i thought it was just getting back into school routine. Our sex life had been dwindeling, but i just thought it was the normal ups and downs. He just didn't seem intetested. We were very excited for out of town weekend to a hotel takeover 2 weeks ago. The halloween one is always a blast. Before we go i tell him i've been feeling a little neglected and was hoping to have lots of sex while there to play catch up. He agreed. SAT night we hit the jackpot with a hot unicorn and the three of us went at it for 5 hours. Afterward he slept in other bed, i felt so disconnected but thought maybe he was just hot and let it go. We get into some major arguments after we get home. Bunch of stupid stuff he made worse by blowing up screaming and yelling. This is all so unlike him. I went snooping and my life fell apart. Turns out, he has been hunting craigslist for hookers for around 5 months. He would drive around a few times a week looking for streetwalkers. He admits to picking 1 up and paying her $40 for sex. Claims it was just that one time but i dont believe it. He did eventually come clean about the one after lying for 10 min when I confronted him. He says he's sorry and wants to work it out. I asked if he was sorry why didn't he tell me and why did he go back out looking again afterwards for weeks? He says he don't know. I'm so heart broken. We are swingers, he could have any girl he wanted as long as her man wasnt a total creeper. I did everything sexually for him. He was turning me down but out looking for hookers. I've stayed in shape, and not trying to sound concieted but often one if the best looking women in club. I'm sure i look better then any cracked out $40 streetwalker. There is nothing sexual i'm not willing to do. I wear sexy clothes for him. Hell I have threesomes with him. He says he dont know why he did it. It was exciting looking for them for months (but he only cheated once, yea right). I feel like i'm broken in a million pieces. Like he chose some nasty whore over me. What about stds? What if he would have been caught by police? What if, why, ect ect runs thru my head non stop. I hate him right now. He's sleeping in basement but everytime i see him i feel this rage that scares me. I can't even function, can't eat without puking, can't sleep, can't do anything but sit here and hate him. My kids know something is wrong but not what. Right now mommy probably looks crazy. I feel crazy. I'm eating xanax like crazy (4 a day) and its not even numbing me. I tried searching for cheating swingers, but couldnt find anything like this. Someone please help me understand. Why did he do this? I know i'm not perfect but i didn't deserve this. Why would he turn me down but PAY for it from someone else? I just cant wrap my brain around it. What do I do? Someone please help me. Edit: of course we will NOT be swinging now. Just felt safer posting this here because as soon as i said we were swingers on another board it was all hate talk and my fault because I allowed others into our bedroom. As swingers, we understand the difference, but normal population does not so thats why this post is here.
  7. I know she feels chemistry and is comfortable with him. I feel like I didnt do a good job explaining exactly what i need help with here. I need help coming to terms with the weird feeling *I* have about her only wanting my husband. I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does. They always want to play with us because my hubby is only one the other wife will play with. It makes it akward for me. Hope I made more sense this time.
  8. Yes, we are their first & only in about 2 years of active lifestyle. I get that she is comfortable with my man. Thats why she says she will only play him him. Her husband is average size guy, my husband is hung (you asked) does that matter? Husband is rightfully flattered, but I think it makes it harder to discuss with him cause he can't see my issue because he is so flattered. Any advice?
  9. We have a couple we have known for about 2 years. We used to play on regular basis, but they only wanted to play with us (going steady type thing) and we enjoy different expierences so about a year ago things got weird and we quit playing, but remained friends and see them and hang out at events, ect. This past weekend they threw a party. Vibe seemed right so we played again. The next day we seen them at local club, it felt like they assumed we were going to play again and things were right back to how they used to be. We left early. My issue: I dont know why, but it bothers me that my husband is the ONLY guy the lady of other couple will play with. In past 2 years, they refuse everyone else. I'm flattered she enjoys my husband, and he is too, but something about it bothers me. She only wants to swing if its with my husband. She flat out says he is only guy she will fuck. I'm not sure if this is jealousy or what. I don't really feel jealous of her and dont mind them having sex on occassion. But it makes me feel weird that they wait for him. Its not like they don't have other good options. We all hang out in a group of young, fun and hot people. Am I crazy? Would this bother you? I tried to explain to my husband but he seemed to think I was just expierencing a bit of jealousy and of course he is flattered the lady only wants him so he doesn't understand my issue. We like them and have fun togeather. But I don't want to be the only couple they play with. Of course, I can't control who they play with, it would just make me feel better about whole situation if she would just want to play with anyone else even once. Can anyone help me break down what i'm feeling and why so we can address it better? Thanks!
  10. We do see couples. Here recently he got on a kick where he wanted mfm. Ok, thank you. Now he wants his fmf. I am 100% fine with that. What I have a issue with is it his unicorn hunt is consuming our lives. I do help look. Currently chatting up 2 different ones he finds hot, and send a message or two a day to others. I don't have time to spend 2+ hrs a day every day hunting for chics like he does. I feel like he did those mfm just so he could have a excuse when he started this crap. It's thrown up enough when we talk about it. I don't care if we never have another. At this point we aren't swinging at all till this crap if fixed. I'm not ok being ignored daily while he hunts down women, when I'm not even allowed to talk to a guy without him. I'm not ok with swinging consuming our lives. I'm not ok with hearing about 20 different women a day... Every single day. I'm not saying he can't look, or we can't do it, I'm saying this is too damn much! He says he don't understand how I feel, seems like no one else does other. Maybe I am just crazy.
  11. I don't expect or even want him to set my dates. Doesn't matter either way to me. I don't mind trying to help him find one for him either. I guess my main issue is that he seems kinda obsessed with it right now. That he spends so much time doing it. That every single day I'm hearing about all these different chics. Even if men do look more often, surely all you ladies are not ok with this much. Already today, he has spent 2 hrs online looking, sent 8 messages, and a good amount of time drooling over naked chics on Reddit. none if these things by themselves bother me, it's just the amount of it is overwhelming. We talked about it earlier. He says it's because he is bored. (He just had shoulder surgery a month ago and can't up back to work yet) I understand he is bored. I get it. But he can't understand that this constant hunt is starting to really hurt my feelings and make me feel bad. We are going to take a break while we work on things, but I guess I need advice on how to work on things. A normal relationship forum wouldn't help once it was discovered that swinging was a issue. I can't discuss with friends because we don't want to marked as that couple with a problem. Surely we are not only swingers who ever had issues. I feel so isolated and like there is no where to turn.
  12. So hubby and I have been swinging a little over 2 yrs now. He struggled with jealousy for awhile but had been doing better. I even had a moment or two over time where I felt it. I'm not sure if this is jealousy or what, it feels more like anger. So about 2 months ago hubby really gets into MFM. He lived looking and setting them up because he said he "loves seeing me happy and acting like his slut" (not derogatory in our case). We have a few hubby sets up and they are ok. Ok because he wanted to pick the guy, he don't like me talking to singles. Then he starts throwing it up to me when we are arguing. How he does this for me but never gets his unicorn. It has been since we first started since we had one, but that's not my fault, he turned down the few we have come across for not being his type. I'm pissed cause I didn't even ask for the mfm, he Wanted to but since I got two cocks it was for me. So ok, let's find unicorn so it's back to "fair". (Always kept eye out for one anyway but let's be a lil more aggressive looking) I write some chics, he starts writing... And writing, and writing. I'm not joking. Like over a hr or 2 a day looking, over 10 messages a day, kik talk, emails, sites, on and on. For 2 weeks straight now. I told him it was getting to be a little much. Literally every day thing. I hear about his unicorn hunt n have to look at all these chics he's trying for constantly. He explained it's harder for him to find, so he has to write more. I get that. But all the damn time? He turned down sex with me tonight cause he was to busy kik this chic that lives in another state. He said he knew I was aggravated with him so he assumed I didn't want sex anyway. That used to be fun, now I'm just feeling pissed off and jealous. I don't mind him finding a unicorn. I hope he does. I'll be happy for him. But I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to hear about another damn chic. It's all the time. He said he would slow it down some since it was bothering me. He lied. Another 13 emails, kik, pic exchanges, and more hunting today. I'm really upset. I'm not even sure why. It has just became to much. I'm going crazy. Someone please help me!
  13. This! You summed it up better then I could. I feel like her technique is much more intimate then mine. I know that sounds silly, I mean we are all having sex, it's all intimate. It's just feels/looks different. I'm happy to talk to them about it, just not sure how to bring it up without sounding Petty. I'm doing a bad job communicating this, I couldn't even get hubby to understand cause I'm not sure what exactly about it is bothering me myself.
  14. Well thank you, but any ideas why is it bothering me and how I fix it?
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