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PlacidMatt

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About PlacidMatt

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  • Birthday 09/18/1987

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    couple
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    canada
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Have there every been times where you or your partner didn't feel like playing so one partner vetoes it? We have a play date this weekend and I'm not feeling it. My wife has been working her 7 days on with her last shift being today. When she working she's sometimes stressed out. This was one of those stressful weeks. She's been Naggy, needy (wanting more tickles and rubs than usual etc) and too tired to give attention/affection. I've put a lot of energy into her this week and got very little from her. Now I don't do those things for her just to get attention back, but when there's a lack of it, it eventually weighs on you, you know? I don't really feel like sharing her this weekend as I want some time for us to reconnect, make love, and feel that intimacy from her. I've suggested she find another job as this one is too taxing on her, our kids, and our relationship. I make enough that she could realistically work part time as a nurse and we'd be more than ok. She overall a happier more affectionate person when not overworked and I miss it.
  2. I'll also add that I have not yet talked about this with my wife. I intend to but I'd rather get my thoughts and feeling clear and concise before doing so. I am not so bugged by this to have it have an affect on my general mood or my mood towards her. It's not as if she's keeping it a secret or doing anything I've told her I'm not comfortable with. I just have have some unclear thoughts and feelings towards it that maybe you's can help me hash out before mentioning it to her.
  3. We met up again this weekend and had some more soft fun. Started with massages than evolved into switching partners for massage and oral. After the ladies had a few orgasms we returned to our wives for sex. We again had a great time. My wife was correct in the fact that you can't know how you'll feel until you do it. It's surprising to me that what's bugging me a little now has nothing to do with the playing. Keep in mind were still new please. Anyways the playing is great, there's no jealousy or hurt feelings for anyone. The thing that's bugging me is the amount of dirty talk through texting she does with the other male. I think this bugs me because her and I never do that anymore and it's hard to read the things she says to him. So you know the other female tries to dirty talk with me through text and I'll oblige to a minimal level but it really doesn't interest me. When I'm at home with my wife I'd rather have that with her. Now I don't mean I want my wife to text me dirty things when she's right beside me but instead of texting him dirty things from work, why not me? Or send me the sexy photos of her breasts? It's like she has this sexual energy we used to have but for him. I get its new and exciting and I'm excited and pleased to pleasure another woman but after when we're not with them my focus is on my wife. The other thing is this couple doesn't seem to have sex very often. Since our last swing we've had sex with each other every other day. Before that is was at least once a week but often 2 times. I'm concerned they use swinging to release their sexual needs but otherwise don't have a lot of sex. This scares me a little on another note because I don't want that to brush off on us. While I like the newness of this couple and LS I LOVE having sex with my wife and only intend for this adventure to be an extension of an already great sex life. Anyways there's two separate issues here, hope to hear from all you great people ��
  4. Hey all I've got something on my mind and just curious is maybe I'm over thinking again lol. Since the soft swap and even before we'd all been texting each other. Which in itself is no issue as our phones are open to each other and either one of us are free to read whatever. Its just that last night after work I asked he how things were and she gave me "long day"... that's it. Even after a little prying that's the answer I got. Later in the evening when we were cuddling in bed she got a text from the male and proceeded to show me their conversation from the day. It seems she'd had more than just a long day, and told him many details she'd not said to me. When I asked her why she said because she's tired and didnt feel like going through it again. I expressed to her that I feel a little jealous about it and that I feel like that's "ours". Its not that she told him about her day, its that she went into more detail with him and got her venting out to him, and not me. I look forward to hearing about her day and listening to her vent after the kids are in bed and we are cuddling. It the time we unwind and reconnect. Has anyone else ever had this happen? What were your thoughts? Am I over thinking again? Other than that everything is great.
  5. Update: We went ahead this weekend and enjoyed a soft swap. All I can say is was a great experience for all involved. The girls started things off kissing and stroking each other, teasing us men. After they were nice and excited from each other they involved us by first giving oral to their respective men, then switching. It was really hot seeing my wife give oral to another man while receiving oral from a new woman at the same time. It was even more hot seeing her receive oral and a fantastic orgasm from two new people. I think the best part, for me anyways, was the the end where the other male was fucking his girl from behind while she gave me head and my wife rode my my face. Just so many bodies touching each other....damn. She also did something I can only describe as the hottest thing she's done to me, right before she was going to have her last orgasm on my face she took my cock out of the other women's mouth, kissed her deeply with tongue, and jumped on my cock until she finished. Long story short, we had a GREAT time. On a side note we've had sex at least 5 times since Saturday night. That's a happy perk lol. She also seems want more affection from me these last few days, short kisses, lingering touches as she walks by, we always cuddle as we fall asleep but it seems she's been holding me tighter than usually too. While at this point I'm still not ready for a full swap I'm certainly looking forward to the next time we meet this couple for more play.
  6. She suggested that she thinks she would be okay with such an animal not that she wants that now. As I've said she embraces the unknown and I think while she may be capable of such a thing talking and doing are two different things and her attitude would probably be more apprehensive should I say okay, I'm on board I'm going to find a girlfriend, go find a boyfriend, y'know?
  7. Thanks you for this, especially the last part. I am starting to wonder if I am worrying for nothing. You are right, I don't worry about her leaving me for other men on a daily basis. Im not worried about the ups man, or the guy she talks to at work. So why worry about a man whose wife I am also fucking, that loves her as much as I love my wife. He doesn't know her body like I do, he doesn't and will never know how she loves to have her head pulled snugly into my neck while she orgasms as we make slow passionate love. We will be fucking in a purely animal pleasure based way, and going home with each other to cuddle in bed and talk about how much fun we had. I think I've been wigging out a little, and perhaps as others have stated she's feeling annoyed talking about this TOO much and that we've covered all the bases. I should know better as I've always known her to be a woman who embraces the unknown and doesn't like to take the mystery out of things by over analyzing. I know and trust that is something happened I wasn't comfortable with we would talk it out and it would be ok. I think more than anything I needed to type out my feelings and concerns and get opinions and advice from those who have more experience than I. Thank you all very much for welcoming me here and offering advice and experienced words We've talked and we are going to proceed with this couple. We both know the boundaries and for her sake will just let things evolve naturally in terms of the whens and hows of the sex to ensue. We will be starting with a soft swap for as long as it takes for me to feel comfortable, if ever. I feel I should point out, as I may have painted her out to be not willing to hear me out. That's not fair. She works as a nurse and has a 7 day on schedule with 4 days off. Alot of my badgering her to talk about what-if happened during her work week, and she is generally already stressed when she gets home and just wants to relax and cuddle and not think. This more than likely the cause of her annoyance in combination with my badgering.
  8. Also on a sexual note, I'm a little nervous to share that sexual energy. Since she's happy with one good session a week, I don't think I'd be okay with swapping if we were doing that 2 times a month. If it was once a month or ever other month cool, because I'm still enjoying most of that energy. Is that selfish of me?
  9. I agree that we are looking at this differently, and it may be that she can't relate because she is that comfortable in our relationship. And you are right in presuming I am afraid of her possibly drifting away from me. We have a great relationship inside and out. We've had our bumps where we've almost broken up but ultimately talked things out and came out stronger for it. We have a good sex life from my perspective and great from hers. The difference being I have a higher libido than her so I don't always get as much as I like. She's happy with one really good session a week where I'm happier with two or three. We try new things sexually frequently ranging from new toys to outdoors to in parking lots behind our tinted windows lol. we have 2 great kids and a wonderful life together. I'm afraid of losing that. Some part of me knows that this could make our bond even stronger and another part fears the what if's. What if she likes this more than me and doesn't want to stop? What if swapping with other loving couples isn't enough and she wants to try MFM or swinging on her own? I know I can't predict this stuff, but she has expressed that she would be okay if at some point we were poly. It's scary.
  10. She said its not that she doesn't want to hear my feelings, its that she doesnt see the need to discuss "what if's" all the time, as it gets annoying. If I were to bring her a problem that actually happened and present my feelings on it, she would never get annoyed or brush it off. As far as I can tell this is truth as shes never brushed me off when I've discussed real problems that have actually happened.
  11. Also the thing is she'd never been one to think things through. It who she is. She gets a thrill out of the unknown. She has said she is aware that there could be a situation where I do something and she's like woah I didn't like that, but that its something she would tell me about after and deal with the hurt feelings than. She feels she loves me enough and is comfortable enough to feel secure should a situation arise she would tell me and than it would be in my court as to what happens. Either I talk it out and say look i didn't know that bothered you and I wont do it again or I'll say I really liked that and want to continue with or without you.
  12. You are right in that she doesn't have any problems with what I do. She cannot foresee anything happening that would ruin our relationship for her. She knows I love her immensely. She said she feels the life we have together is not something that could just change because of a sexual act as i fulfill her sexually and emotionally and we have a love that is rooted beyond just sex and lust, that its built on partnership and respect. While I'm on board with those sentiments I am not at the place she is in terms polyamory and full swapping. I understand she was just sharing her feelings and outlook and didn't say " I want to full swap and have a boyfriend or else I'll feel incomplete" but as I tend to over think things It makes me wonder if she'll be okay long term never having those things with me. I suppose I can only wait and see and deal with comes as it comes. She herself doesn't know and says she can't predict if she'll be okay not having those things in the future, but as of now its an exciting idea not something she desires more than this relationship. So with that as I said I'll just see where things go and not think on them until they are a reality.
  13. You are spot on. We talked again last night. I learned some things about her I never knew. She says she'd be comfortable with polyamory if it moved in that direction.... While I am excited to learn these things on different levels, I must say "WHO ARE YOU", girlfriend, mother of my children?!?! You are correct in that I am the thinker and over analyzer. In our discussion last night she revealed that she feels life is too short for over thinking that she feels the best course is plunge in and talk later. She said she felt comfortable that if something happened that one of us didn't like we'd talk after the fact and it wouldn't happen again. I always knew she was free spirited but not to the degree I know now. She completely believes nothing in life is predictable nor wants it to be. The fun in life she says is the not knowing and that she embraces it. It's like she's a whole new person to me in ways. I need some degree of predictability or reasonable expectation. I find it a little scary to be honest. She's talked about marrying me recently so I asked her how she can want to marry me but also have boyfriends on the side and have me have gf's on the side, she said because it's possible to love more than one person. While I agree, I don't want that nor do I understand the appeal in it. Gah feeling in love, wonder, and confusion this morning :/
  14. I have no real issues with jealousy especially not doing a soft swap. My insecurities are that I'm afraid she might like this too much and I won't as much and she'll be disappointed that I want to stop. I'm also a little insecure as to why she is so willing to share me. I can't relate or understand as I have reservation about a full swap.
  15. Thanks for the replies Before I respond to things you've said I'd like to point out an interesting happening - As of today she has told me that she is no longer interested in swinging as she thinks I'm not ready and have a few insecurities about it. In her words " lets forget about it and move on". The interesting part is that although she may just be saying this out of frustration, in a way it shows me she values our relationship more highly than excitement we might gain out of entering this lifestyle. Which is all I really needed to hear last night. Anyways - To address some things you've all mentioned, I don't think it a matter of being ok or totally satisfied as prior to this it wasn't something that crossed my mind. I wasn't thinking about how much or little reassurance I was receiving as I didn't require it. It just seems that now I do require it because of the items I mentions at the end of my first post. "- I feel like she is more comfortable and has less reservation about this than I do, and that scares me a little. - Sharing a partner to me isn't an easy thing to do , at least not initially so I can't understand how she is so willing to share me. - She needs no reassurance and doesn't seem to understand how important it is to me. (walking a mile in my shoes sort of thing)" This couple we've met is from a lifestyles website BTW. Anyways at this point I'm feeling a little bit like I've disappointed her to some degree by "sucking the fun" out of this potential experience and I still want to proceed but it seems as though she has made up her mind to not do it now.
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