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Sunflower

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  • Content Count

    14
  • Joined

Community Reputation

22 Excellent

About Sunflower

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/24/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    United States
  • Swinging Experience
    1 year
  • Anniversary
    09/19/1997

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    cwcw3336

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  1. The hottest thing my husband ever told me was before the first time we had sex. We were making out. He looked into my eyes and with intense longing in his voice he said "I want you". That's how he got my virginity.
  2. When we have play dates or go to parties we always talk about it the next morning. We will discuss if any rules were broken, if one of us did or said something to make the other uncomfortable, what we thought about the people, etc. We have found that it usually makes for good breakfast conversation. As far as everything else, I would agree with the advice that has already been given. Good luck.
  3. Just an update to everyone. We talked about it and agreed that we would spend one on one time with couples as well as go to parties. He promised to try not to be a let down after a party. We spent this last weekend with a couple and we had a great time. We are on a good track to get it worked out together. Thanks to everyone who posted advice.
  4. I am also curious about BDSM. My husband has tried to play the dominate role, but he feels as though it is wrong to treat me that way. I like to say he is too emotionally involved. He is not interested in BDSM at all. I would like to be submissive and talked dirty to. Our first visit to a swinger club had me bent over with my hands on a woman's thighs and everyone else taking turns spanking me with a wooden spoon. I loved it! (even though I was sore the next day, LOL). I like the idea of him to be there to take care of me after and it is something I will definitely discuss with him.
  5. I understand not putting the weight, but I'm not afraid to put mine and I am a very BBW. I figure the LS is supposed to be about honesty and being up front, so why not put my weight. That way when someone contacts us, they have an idea of what they are getting. My pet peeve is that there is never a pic of the guy on the profile, just the girl. I'm interested in both and want to see pics so I can see if there is some kind of spark to make me want to meet. The pics don't have to be x rated, just something to give me an idea. Even then sometimes if I like how the profile reads I'll still meet with them and see what happens.
  6. I too am not much about the dressing up. When we go out I will wear a comfortable skirt and shirt. I do not wear heels. It has never stopped me from having a good time. When we play it is with people that we have spoken with and gotten to know a little. Once you get a jist of a person's personality, you hardly notice what they are wearing and just enjoy their company. A person's mind and sense of humor is what turns me on, not their outfits.
  7. I'm not sure if this post is in the right place, but here it goes. As some of you know, my husband and I have been swinging for over a year. I grew up in the south where it is seen as wrong for a female to enjoy sex and sex with more than one person makes you a slut, tramp, etc. I was also raised in the southern baptist religion. Since my husband and I have started swinging I have felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It is like a part of myself was chained down my entire life and now I am finally free to be the whole person that I am. Here is my dilemma: Even though I am free, my family is still very much baptist and vanilla. In fact, my husband and I have not told anyone in our families about our lifestyle and the fact that I am bi because we are worried that family members might try to have our kids (16 and 10) taken away from us. On the other hand my son is 16 and I would like to tell him so that he does not feel as tied down as I felt. I want him to be able to have kind of sexual preference he wants, be it vanilla, swinger, gay, or bi. I know he would keep our secret from the family. I feel like a kid's parents have a great influence over how they see things. So my question is does anyone else's kids know that you are in the lifestyle? How old were they when you told them and how did you tell them? Should I tell my son? Thanks.
  8. I have tried Softcup (which I found on the top shelf in the tampon aisle at my local Walgreens store). I loved it! You only have to change it twice a day usually. I would change mine in the morning when I woke up and at night in the shower before bed. The problem I had was reaching it. I have a tilted cervix and I am overweight so it was difficult for me to reach. I had to stop using them . I am currently losing weight and when I get down to where it is not difficult to reach in there and get them, I'm going right back to them. They were so much more comfortable than tampons and less messy than pads.
  9. Thanks everyone for your advice. We're going to talk again tomorrow night. I think maybe I don't give him enough attention at the parties. Before we started swinging he was the only person I'd ever been with sexually. I had been attracted to boys and girls since I was young, but growing up in the bible belt, I felt that it was wrong to feel that way and it was wrong for me to enjoy sex. I'm now 34 years old and I am finally exploring a part of myself that has never had a chance to surface. It is very easy for me to get carried away at the parties because it is the only place I feel really free. I have no kids, I don't have to act like I don't like sex, and I don't have to pretend I'm straight for fear of what other people will think. I can have sex with my husband anytime, but the parties are the only chance I have to try different people and things. It is no slight to him because I love him and feel he is my soul mate, but I just like to try new things.
  10. Hey everyone. My husband and I have been swinging for a little over a year now. We have a friend who has a house party every weekend. We like to go a few times a month. When my husband gets to play he has a great time and everything is awesome. But, when he doesn't get any action and I do, he mopes about it and complains the whole hour and a half drive home. He thinks people don't like him and that he is not good looking (which is crazy, he's totally hot!). When we go to the parties I am not afraid to go up and talk to people. I enjoy talking and flirting with men and women. I usually play every time. He does not really talk to people. I have tried to encourage him to talk but he always says that he leaves that to me and then I can introduce him. We can play separately at these parties and we have both done so on several occasions. I have tried to leave it to him to decide when we go to parties and what the rules are, but he keeps insisting on putting me in charge. I have suggested we stop swinging, but he doesn't want to stop either. I have tried to tell him that just because one person didn't want to talk to him doesn't mean nobody wants to talk to him. I tell him that he's totally hot and he can last a long time until she gets all she wants before he finishes. I tell him that's a good thing for swingers. He still insists that he is not good looking and nobody likes him. We never have this problem when he gets laid at the parties, only when he doesn't. He doesn't let on during the party that there is a problem and acts like he enjoys me playing and having a good time, but I get an earful of how terrible the party was for him on the way home and it totally ruins my high from enjoying the party. What can I do?
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