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NNJBoomers

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  • Content Count

    64
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Community Reputation

15 Good

About NNJBoomers

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    married couple
  • Location
    New Jersey
  1. We are lifetime members on SLS and Swappernet. We have met couples on the sites, but we also like looking at the pictures and reading the profiles.
  2. I am perfectly aware of what it takes to make a marriage work, since Mr Boomer and I have been married over 31 years. Tarnished Halo has receive wonderful, caring advice from many on the board here. If her husband were inclined to listen, then that would be great. However, it is obvious that he does not care for our advice. He wants what he wants. So, that leaves Tarnished Halo to decide how to deal with him. She has the indisputable right to put her foot down about swinging and tell him...never in my natural lifetime! Do not mention that subject to me again. However, she knows that there will be consequences to this decision. She is still "iffy" on putting her foot down, because she fears that the results might be worse than what could happen if she agrees to swinging. She has a real dilemma, because she is dealing with the unknown no matter which decision she makes. Mrs Boomer
  3. I have one question for you, Tarnished Halo: Do you want to live the rest of your life with the way things are now in your marriage? It is obvious from your previous posts that swinging is very important to your husband. Granted, he has not been the most understanding person on this subject. Also, you have been resistant for your own good reasons. I am sure you each see your position as the correct one because it is the correct one for each of you. Bottom line: one wants to swing...the other one does not. Result: stalemate. You can both agree to disagree on this subject, but it looks like that has not worked. The turmoil over this issue continues. I am sorry, but I do not see a compromise in this situation. You either swing or you do not. No matter what happens in the future....one of you will will get your way in this. Now you need to look at how the future may play out in your marriage if you get your way, and then, if he gets his way. You know yourself and by now you know him. In your heart of hearts, I think you know. So, how do you get beyond all the hurts and resentments that have built up over the years? You can change ONLY the way YOU think. You can not change how he thinks. It sounds to me that he has been consistent in his desire to swing for many years, so I doubt that will ever change. So, then, what about you? What are your objections to swinging? If you morally object to having sex with someone other than your husband, then all the counseling in the world will not turn you into a swinger. You simply MUST be able to separate sex from love. Look at it as adult playtime. The play just happens to be sex and not checkers. If you are insecure about your body image or being able to attract playmates or nervous or afraid of the unknown, then you can become a swinger if you really want to do it. It will not be easy for you at first, but if you and your husband talk about it and make a plan of action, you can make it happen. There are lots of threads on this board about limits. I know you have some in mind already. You can talk about doing this for only so long. Eventually you must DO it. Definitely take it slow but make sure you move ahead with your plan. Once your husband sees that you are willing to move forward with your agreed upon goal, hopefully he will relax and enjoy the journey. In this lifestyle, you always move at the speed of the slower partner. He should have no objections to this, as long as you are moving. Oh yes, one more question...Do you TRUST him? I sure hope so. Good luck to both of you.
  4. Voting for 8 We walk into a room... 3 couples are playing... We know one couple... That couple reaches for us... Voila! Orgy time! What a trip!
  5. Both of us are 54 Married 31 years Together 34 years In the lifestyle since February 2003 She is down 35 pounds since then...the motivation rocks! We've cum a long way, baby!
  6. Bottom line is that they do not want to "play" with anyone who they consider old and fat. Guess 50 = old. I am fortunate to look like I am in my early 40s. Would I ever love to get the invitation to their party, "do" that host, and then afterwards casually advise him that in December I turn 54. Oh, but that would never happen, even if I were to be so "lucky" as to get an invitation, because he doesn't turn me on. Superficial, aren't I? Live and let live. To each is own. Yada, yada, yada........ Pauline
  7. Swinging has turned out to be the best motivation for losing weight and exercising that I have ever experienced. But, the motivation would not work if I did not feel attractive at my current weight. It really is all in your attitude about yourself. If you know you look and act sexy, then others will agree!
  8. We are members of an on premise club and go to the club most Saturday nights. As many have said, each night is different. We make it a practice to discuss the various couples that one of us may like to play with to see if the other is also interested in them. After almost 31 years of marriage, we are usually in agreement. However, the decision to act is up to me, the female half. I am finding that although I may agree with hubby on our interest in a couple, I need more interaction with the couple before deciding to act. Hubby finds the other wife attractive physically and is ready to play. I find the other husband attractive physically but hesitate until there has been some conversation. Now, the conversation usually confirms the initial attraction, but I am more comfortable with taking the time to get to know the other couple. Hope I made sense. Pauline
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