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lizard-lix

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About lizard-lix

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 10/27/1956

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
  • Interests
    Bicycling, swimming, sailing and boating, snorkeling, hiking, fishing, shooting & BBQ are among my faves
  • Occupation
    Geek
  • Swinging Experience
    15 years around the lifestyle, but not much experience yet
  • Anniversary
    Jul/8

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    Player's San Antonio

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  1. I'm in that boat, I can actually orgasm more easily than before the prostate surgery, but I'm somewhere between limp and kinda erect. Of course no ejaculate, except for now and then, if I've been edged for a while, the cowpers gland provides some juice that is about like girl squirt. I'm bi, so i can also say that anal is still great, but it no longer gets me to orgasm by itself with no prostate to stimulate. But oral is as good as it ever was, and since I love giving as much as getting, it;'s still all good!
  2. PeterJ, my situation is very similar.. I'm kinky, which she has no interest in, and I'm bi, so she seems to prefer when I am with guys, but has not excluded women. She is still at the no details stage, but if I am specifically going to meet someone, she ends up asking. I try to set my meetups for when I am already traveling for work, so that way she doesn't have to sit home knowing I am out having sex. Luckily my play partner is a work associate and we get to travel together every few months. My wife is a retired NP/PA, so the no STI rule is the biggest item (she did STI counseling for adolescents, so it can be daunting to deal with her concerns, I've spent a lot getting regularly tested and asking the same of my partners). Like you, I think my wife's sexual course is pretty well set, we have our loving simple sex when she wants it, and I enjoy my pursuits with friends now and then. But back to the original topic, my playpal and I would be a great couple to play with as swingers. Totally drama free and we are about as open to anything as it gets.
  3. Not all married singles are cheaters... My wife gave me a hall pass several years ago. I'd never cheat on her! I don't lie to her either. She is not very interested in sex and after a lot of discussion and work at it, she decided to let me out to play. It took a bit of additional work, but we are good and with it and happily together for life. She doesn't like sailing in heavy weather either, I have sailing buddies for that too. I HATE gardening, she has friends for that :-). We accept that one person can't be someone else's everything (kinda the point here, eh? There wouldn't be any swinging if we were all totally content with our partners). My FB and I have had a good FB thing going for over a year. We are friends and respect each other, but we are not in love, never will be and simply enjoy fucking each other's brains out when we can. We've been planning to look for some swing time and I can assure you that if we made your cut in the other ways, our unmarried status would not be an issue. My point is that while some FB couples may be a risk, not all would be.
  4. I'll agree with WesternSwing... Another community that is more evolved and more comfortable with male bisexuality is the kink community, but they are also closer to the poly community so it all fits...
  5. One other potential avenue is going to a kink party/club instead of a swiniger's party/club. When I was in TX, the kink party (held in the swinger's club, on a night they are closed) was 100% bi friendly and the playroom was a total mix-it-up zone (yes, they did BDSM and other kink as well as just sex, but it was a great place to meet people for about anything... Negotiate and jump in if it works). I also agree with the folks above. Ask, look for openly stated bi-friendly groups and start out carefully if you are a typical swinger's club. At one club we used to go to, male bisexuality was not at all welcome. At another club we went to, the couple that first approached us was immediately open about the wife wanting to hook up with bi guys, the hubby was OK with it, but wasn't committed. Good luck!
  6. I'm totally versatile, but prostate cancer surgery has left me erectionless (maybe I'll get it back, maybe I won't, time will tell. I'm alive so I don't really care!). In the mean time I've embraced the bottom role and it's been great. Either with a dick or a strapon, getting is great! I've never had such intense orgasms. It certainly changes the dynamic, but hey, being flexible is part of the lifestyle!
  7. I would take the who's best bet too! I love sucking dick and I have been at it since I was 11 (what can I say? Guys put out first :-), I think I give a pretty awesome blowjob and I've never had a complaint. OTOH, the lady I am playing with feels the same and we have a bet going for when we find the right guy to share (truthfully I think we are both good enough that we'll forget the bet and just enjoy sharing!). Bi? Baby I was born that way!
  8. Well, I've had enough time in between several anal penetrations that I think I can answer (despite only once being first :-) On my belly, with one leg pulled up seemed to open me the most easily. Cowboy gives the most control (since you are really fucking yourself), and is a fave. I do like plain old doggie. What really made the diff is a bit of practice, work out with a dildo and/or buttplug a few days before the anticipated time. If I do that, i can take it right in and just go with it. No take-it-easy start. If I don't, then the first few minutes can be a bit difficult. As a result I never go unprepped! Enjoy, getting butt fucked is a true joy! I've never come harder that I do getting reamed.
  9. I agree, too many cheaters and after the amout of time and effort it took for my wife and I to work it out openly and honestly, I am NOT going to play with a cheater! Some guys will let you talk to their wives (but who knows if it is really her), for me, I just hope I come across as honest as my wife is not up for vetting me to others. Also, I have been on the sites I use for hookup for along time, there is a running history of our process...
  10. Thanks! I'll have to look around here (Triangle area of NC). But I have to admit, setting up a bi playgroup is going pretty well, so I may not need to. Of course getting ladies to join is harder than getting men, but we have two couples interested already. Not into cuck or anything like that either, just a fun free-for-all...
  11. I'm lifelong bi and at one of the swinger's clubs we went to, I'd practically get shunned for even bringing up the subject. At the other club, they had bi male nights (of course bi women were always applauded at any time). So it is opening up in some places at least. When my wife decided not to play with others and gave me a hall pass, I was on my own. Single males are not generally welcome in the swinger lifestyle in any place, so I went to the kink club. That was LGBTQ friendly from the start and where I stayed! As a single bi male, I still feel unwelcome in the swinger community, but the kink community has been totally open. Finding partners is not an issue, if we connect, we play, in any combination. So the result is that I am starting a bi play group with one of my play partners to avoid the whole scene altogether.
  12. Absolutely no! Several reasons: 1) I don't want to get shot (as others have said) 2) I don't want to be part of a lie (as others have also said) 3) an expansion on 2. My wife and I have been married very happily for 37 years and intend on forever. But I am a bi and kinky slut, she is straight and vanilla. I did it her way for 25 years, she tried mine for 10 (we went to swing clubs, even full swapped once, went to fetish clubs, etc). But it turned out that she is just not interested in swinging or even that interested in sex. So she gave me a hall pass since she is amazing. In all of our years together, having about a 5 to 1 difference in libido and with me traveling for work since we got married, I never cheated, she never cheated, we always talked about it and even building up to the hall pass, we always told the truth. It set a standard we live by. The first person I met said he was also on the same plan (I'm bi, so I wanted to play with a guy again first) and lead me on for almost two months before it became obvious it was a lie. He vanished and never came back, so fuck him (not)! It all has to be honest!
  13. Well you haven't met my wife. I was the one to bring it up, our marriage is the only monogamous relationship I had ever been in and and I was a good boy for close to 30 years. I finally got to where my old nature wouldn't stay put away any more. My approach was, we tried it like this for 30 years, how about another way? I said that I'd like us both to be able to play with others and that I would be happy to see her have sex with someone else and enjoy every second. We have been working on it for about 5 years now and actually broke the ice and swapped with another couple at a club a few months back. I was letting her lead as I always do, and when a very nice couple hit on us and she went for it (they knew were were swinging virgins and that she was still nervous, all three of us were very careful and slow and gave her every chance to back out, but she didn't). She was OK with it, but after a month of not wanting to discuss it, she finally said that she has too many issues with it. Mostly jealousy (her words), STI's are the backup. She is still good with going to clubs (both swing and fetish), but has made it clear that we are not looking for a hookup (and I definitely don't get to play with anyone else by myself, since I am bi, having a male FWB was also discussed as an option). So, not all girls want extra sex or attention. The crazy thing is that she always gets a steady stream of admirers/offers from both men and women whenever we go to a club (not bad for 60! a lot of the folks who stop by are in their 30s), but she always says she is fine with only me. Go figure?
  14. Do what the porn folks do, put a condom on it then slather on any goo that is condom compatible (and pick the condom for the goo you favor). It's a stretch, but it goes and then the head is always perfectly clean. The hardest part to keep clean is the shaft from the head to the handle, the little grooves in the plastic can collect stuff, the condom helps with that too. Happy buzzing! Liz
  15. A bunch folks in the office are 'out' to each other (we are incredibly lucky, 4 pervs in an office of just over 20, and a few more who are vanilla but cool with us). We have even met up at the fetish night at the cub, so with them it is a good thing. We haven't played and not sure if we ever might, but they are great friends and tons of fun to be with.. OTOH, one other coworkers who was part of this bunch, would probably motivate me to call it a night. When that person's position got elevated, the rest of us got 'left behind.' The awkwardness would just ruin it for us. Anyone else? Who cares? If they are there for the same reason we are, neither can rat out the other without outing themselves as well, so live and let live. (That said we live a 1000+ miles from any relatives, Lizardess would rather die than have any of her family know about our kinks, I'd tell them just to get it out and over with).
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