feser30

And for those of you who have seen your jealousy evolve into compersion, how long did it take? Or was there something you did to achieve it? Thanks again

This idea of compersion is something I'm striving towards. It's the antithesis of jealousy and I very much want to arrive at that stage. We do love each other and I think it's possible to do so. The issue with searching for help with jealousy online is that you get the people who have jealousy problems. The people who don't suffer from it don't write about it! I think that's why this community is so helpful. Reading about the successes makes me hopeful.

Thanks for your response. And no I haven't, so I think there's an element of envy that she got to be with someone else and I didn't. But I feel a hell of a lot better than I did. It's great to know people can deal with this and turn it into something so positive like you guys.

Thanks for all of your responses. It really helps to talk to other people about this and knowing you can get through it. I guess the problem stems from us being each other's first. So I felt like I lost something when she went with someone else. I suppose it's more emotional immaturity/insecurity on my part. As I mentioned above I'd love to get to the stage that you all seem to be at where you dissociate sex and love. It's quite selfless. I wonder did any of you suffer strongly from jealousy and then have it decline? Feel free to offer me more advice on this!

I'm asking for advice as to how people who swing can do this. It's such an irritating emotion to feel, especially when it involves happiness between two people. And even swingers get pangs of jealously so they must have the mental architecture to deal with it.

Hi all, My gf and I have been together for 2 years. We split up for a brief period near the beginning and during that time she slept with someone else. She only told me about this relatively recently. It initially hit me very hard in terms of jealousy especially when I consider myself to be quite open in that regard. I know she did nothing wrong and we're both in love with each other. I've found that reading about successful swingers really helps though. Sometimes I can think of her as just enjoying herself with someone else, and think what the hell is wrong with that! So I was wondering if you could tell me some of the strategies you use to reduce jealous feelings? I'd love to get to the stage where I could happily share her and even if I don't realise the act, getting there mentally is a project of mine. Thanks