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XploreFun

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XploreFun last won the day on June 30 2013

XploreFun had the most liked content!

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About XploreFun

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/20/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Queensland
  • Interests
    Reading, fitness (running, cycling), family time, and anything that makes this world a better place to live
  • Swinging Experience
    None at the moment but we are interested to know more
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. I think you have really shone a light on it there Christnthms. You can see the incentives clearly.
  2. I have a pretty simple and honest question: Why do people such as my wife and I each enjoy the thought of watching each other have sexual pleasure with another? We have been together over 20 years. Happily married with kids. Earlier in our relationship neither of would even have such a thought. Now we both independently (as much as each other) really like this idea. For me, I want to see my wife with another man. My wife really wants to see me with another woman. Whilst we don't deny we could enjoy sex with another it really is secondary for us. The voyeur aspect is the key driver. Do these feelings just develop at a certain age? Is it to do with relationship maturity? Is it a secure sign or a new need as the relationship grows? To be honest the reason doesn't really impact our view but my nerdy side is interested in the thoughts of others on this.
  3. Hi, I noticed a request for an update. Well, in a practical sense things haven't move forward but in a shared understanding sense they have. The body image issue still exists but it was overtaken by an overall question on whether this lifestyle was a good idea for us. We realised that we were moving at different paces. We were both quite excited by the prospects of it all but when push came to shove we were kind of on the fence. This was compounded by other events like work getting really busy and the other couple we were chatting with temporarily moving away. All that sounds quite negative but it isn't really. We decided to focus more on our own relationship first and remain open to it progressing from there. We have yet to explore more together and through that I believe we can also address our fears such as body image. We've obtained all the brilliant communication that came with sharing our wildest fantasies. Than in itself is an amazing addition to our relationship. I also think that its more than possible that we could progress to sharing ourselves with others but I don't crave it as I did. If it happens it will be because it all clicks into place. If I had to bet I would say its likely to happen because we both feel its something we would like to try but not just yet. Incidentally we have started socialising with the other couple before who are more or less at the same stage as us. So who knows. I guess we are playing with our fantasies with the knowledge that more awaits if we think its right. All up a much healthier approach for us I think.
  4. Thanks for the advice. I agree with the earlier point that it's not all about trying to eliminate the possibility of any negative experiences. That is bound to happen. It's more about ensuring you don't do any irrepreable harm. MxCouple thank you so much for sharing your experience. That is a story that I think my wife might relate to. Wonderful too the positive experience it has brought you both. I have always been a very 'fast' and energetic person. I love running and so does my mind. I think however I now grasp the fact that it is indeed a journey to be savoured. I think we keep talking about it without an end goal or plan in mind. Plans set expectations which I think can dampen the passion by adding pressure. Our ability to get out and socialise is very limited at the moment due to kids and relocating to a remote location temporarily for work. Once we are back in the big smoke the opportunity to inch our journey along if we wish is much easier. Whilst every journey will be different it really helps hearing that others have had a similar experience. Thanks. X
  5. Thanks for the feedback everyone. MxCouple87 and njbm what changed for you that made you take the plunge? We have been together over 20 years and love each other very much. We have enough trust to feel comfortable to share that the thought of sex with another would be nice without feeling bad about it. My wife worries that we have something too good to risk an experiment that could be bad. Something interesting is that she has a very strong desire to watch me in action with another lady. That really excites her. A lot. She is only so, so about being with another man. Where I would love for her to experience another man. She has no interest in women herself for her its all about wanting to watch her man with a woman. I will show her the responses on this post as I think the perspective of others who have taken the plunge is very helpful and reasssuring. JandKinBoise why did you choose to end your lifestyle activities?
  6. Hi, I have posted on here a few times a few months ago as my wife and I considered swinging. I wanted to givr an update and perhaps get some feedback. Alas our passion for swinging has fizzled before it got started. We both still love the fantasy. Somewhere along the way however the initial passion became replaced by doubt. I too had my doubt but desire to discover was still stronger than fear of the unknown. Our willingness to discover more was in sync initially but I then became more keen. I felt that my engagement of media on the topic alone (eg this board) was a bit of a red flag that we were not experiencing this journey as a couple. When we talked about the swinging topic my wife was unsure so I dropped it completely. Other than fantasy we now don't discuss it much. I would liked to have discovered more but its a journey for couples in my mind. Has anyone had a similar experience? Did it go anywhere from here? A.
  7. Hi, thanks for all the replies. We got some good different points of view there and I feel we got something from them all. My wife read all of them and it's helped her make sense of her feelings. We appreciate the personal info others have shared. I can see the sense in the MFM being easier due to the pure reduction in numbers. I personally would think k that great but my wife thinks fmf! My wife wants to work on being more comfortable with herself. I will just be content with that and see how we travel. Thanks Mr & Mrs X
  8. Hi, My wife and I seem to be stuck in a holding pattern on our journey to our first swinging experience. We've talked heaps, researched, even met face to face with another couple at the same stage as us. I however have seen some red flags which show me we're not ready yet. I believe in the 'move at the pace of the slowest person' advice and we are following that. I am coming to the conclusion the issue is this: My wife and I are comfortable with different things. I believe this comes down to a question of self body image for my wife. I want to put some tasteful photos of us in underwear (without face shots) on the website we've joined to meet others. My wife is not comfortable with others seeing us on the web. Its not open to the public but just people you choose. I am comfortable with the idea of soft swap as an easy start but my wife is more comfortable with the idea of separate rooms right from the word go. We've talked this through and my wife is not really comfortable with others seeing her. She shares the same passion as me for the concept of swinging but she's not comfortable with others seeing. We both were brought up with sex being an awkward topic and the journey to this point has seen a revolution is our sexual communication which we are so grateful for. We have a very strong relationship. This also halts me in my tracks because as keen as I am my relationship comes first. If you can't let other's see you, should you even be considering swinging? If you can't share your image should you share your body? Interestingly, even though my wife would enjoy another guy, what thrills her most is the thought of seeing me with another woman. I guess its the same for me. I would enjoy seeing her more. We have kids and live in a regional area where there are no clubs to have an easy voyeuristic start. I am interested in other view points in case I am on the wrong track. Any ideas?
  9. Thanks. We will read both replies together tonight. Some good advice in there.
  10. Hi, It's been a while since I have posted here. Several months ago my wife and I started to discuss swinging. We watched some video, joined a website and had lots and lots of talking about all aspects of what it would be like. We even met up with another couple through the website. We agreed to get to know them first but they are temporarily moving out of the area until their house is renovated. So that has stalled. This whole experience however made us feel so alive, so close and without any barriers. Even after 20 solid happy years together. The issue is this. We went overseas on holiday for a while and visited family a few months ago. Between that and work its stopped us talking about swinging. Now it's went right off the boil. We're not sure now. I miss how we felt now. It was a real awakening which we both felt. I (male) have been ahead in some things (internet, research etc) and my wife ahead in others (would prefer separate rooms). My wife also struggles with the idea of sharing photos of us but it happy to meet other people. That worried me that perhaps we weren't ready. Were we just catching a glimpse of a life not meant for us? Are we following a journey that could yet lead to swinging? I don't want to pursue something not for us but we were both so happy with our journey to swinging and I miss how even talking about it made us so close. We both really love the idea of seeing each other with someone else. I think however we are both really nervous and scared to lose what we have. Thoughts?
  11. Op, the amount of responses you are receiving is testament to the thought people are giving to your situation. As the saying goes 'there is a time for a discussion and a time for a decision.' It's hard to imagine there is any more advice available to you to move things forward. It's really down to you. The world has an amazing way of bringing everything to a conclusion one way or another. From your description it's hard to imagine that you have a situation here that will get better with time. Necessity breeds action. You will ultimately do what leads to an outcome you can live with even if you do not acknowledge it. It's human nature. If you choose to stay on your current path then you are accepting the emergent outcome that comes with that path. You are the only external influence available in this situation that will turn this in your favour.
  12. The only way for this to work is to have a forthright conversation which ensures all expectations are aligned. It will squash any hidden agenda from the other party (if one exists) and give you peace of mind that you are all on the same page. The time you spend on the tough conversation will be much less than the time you spend thinking over things if you don't have it.
  13. I guess from a comfort/practicality point of view a male perspective is pretty useless. However, I am sure I speak for more than just a few guys when I say that discovering a lady is just more than a little up for it, so to speak, only adds to the moment. In short, its hot as hell. My wife and I haven't played yet so I can only theorise but I imagine that it is also received well with play partners. To put a different spin on an old management adage - 'people will listen to what you say but they believe what you do '
  14. Wow. Thanks for the post Lascivious. Very well thought out indeed. I wondered when I would get picked up for over thinking it. My wife and I are reaching the same conclusion. It's a good place to be. We've tried to turn this thing upside down and back to front in our mind and we still feel on balance we want to move forward. I've not seen the point you made on communication and how it is not easily duplicated by another made before. It's an interesting insight and I think you are right. We're getting closer to the let's make this happen zone but not quite there yet. I think however it's increasingly becoming more of a when than if now. Thanks again for that post. It's nice to get some positive insight. Many other threads contain genuine horror stories which I find puts us a step or two back.
  15. Thanks for that. When you look at all the text book prerequisites for swinging it can be hard to understand what is a normal concern and what is a 'do not proceed' type issue. We are very happy together and I wouldn't even have the slightest inclination to seek an emotional relationship with another. It would be nice however to use the trust and security we've built up to give each other the chance to experience new sexual opportunities. Life seems too short to say no if you are already with the one you love.
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