anhela

HI Becca, I'm not if you're writing to me or the original writer. I have no plan. I'd be happy to hear from you and your ideas. I don't think id go alone to a party. I do want to. Angela

SPRING CLEANING. For my 50th, I traveled around the world - to three countries, had different sexual experiences many times, had a Korean rubdown to scrape off dead skin in a huge room with everyone naked - now some cleaning out house. Last year I became best buddies with a woman who was a potential partner for my first time. But she was married and I ignored that. I met her with her bf. I didn't feel the attraction but she won me as a friend, even as a best friend. But alas - she became friends with my man, yeah we just broke up. And she lied. I didn't think it could happen to me. So i don't speak to either one. Then I met a really nice man who is SINGLE! and wanted to play. We played, he knew about all this. And it was just the most incredible sexy time I had in my entire night. You definitely want his number. Peace out friends of this site. I am one for non-judgment but prefer open honesty.

Isobel, You are the coolest. And sounds like you handled things so well. Thanks for checking back. If you're gonna be single, THAT's the way to do it! Way to go. A

I'd like add an update. We are talking again. He wants to come back and try another experience. It seems unrealistic when he lives in Asia. I don't want the fling if he visits once a year. I loved him and thought we were dating, but I don't see how that could be a possibility. He surprised me with this last visit which made me think he had other plans that fell through.

Hardest thing is to say no more to this guy but I have (and he's not speaking to me anyway). How do you get emotionally prepared? I do think our foundation wasn't there. I didn't want to be one of those couples that crash and burn because they can't communicate. oh well!

Hey Julie, you're so sweet to affirm me. I love this site.

My first play party made me and my guy closer for about 24 hours, but he's not speaking to me now. He's the swinger. We only knew each other about 9 months total, but I fell crazy for him. I hadn't gone out with anyone in about 5 years. After the few months of spending time together, he left the country one day for Asia I knew he wasn't coming back. I treated the time I was with him like a gift. Someone said like a summer romance. He came back to my city for a visit two weeks ago. Called me and said I'm here - I invited him to stay and the lovefest was perfect. I again got to take care of him a bit. His next interest was going to a swinger party, something we couldn't do when he was here before. He was doing it partly for me, since I had wanted to try the (predictable!) woman thing and yeah, his talk about free love got to me in a good way. We went to a party and I never loved him more. He's the kind of man that hugged his cab driver goodbye- I saw out my window- like a long lost brother. He knew I was jittery and awkward and was awesome keeping me calm and comfy. Did I show my childlike dependent qualities at this point? We mingled, we tried, but even I could see there was not much energy in the pre sex party of the party. We're warm, attractive in our 40's. I love meeting people but felt stressed I couldn't connect. (Tried to hard?) Well, BF said, lets do what we came here to do, and I said ok. We went to the bedroom, got undressed and just starting having sex. So mechanical. While another couple having sex on the bed next to us were writhing, fluids were flowing and moaning and black netting was involved. My bf gets all excited and asks me to keep going so he can keep watching them. I'm comfy naked, but as my bf gets super excited with more naked moving bodies coming in the room, I get a little panicky and want to go. We do and walk away my anxiety over 50 blocks. But I said things I regret and he said I am a damsel in distress. So name calling happens and forgiveness and understanding doesn't. I like the part of me that knows that everyone is unique. I do get it. He hasn't spoken to me since. But i'm trying to not blame myself and I know I'm open.