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LuckySOB

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  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

Community Reputation

45 Excellent

About LuckySOB

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/15/1966

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Lubbock, TX
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Wow! Really? You don't see a difference in me being honest about my feelings with her, despite correctly assuming it would mean the end of our physical relationship, and what her husband is doing? I don't think I can answer that in a respectful manner so I'll just leave it at that. The reason I believe her has nothing to do with having slept with her. That's irrelevant. It has to do with being a fairly decent judge of character, how it was said and the context in which it was said. There's also the fact that she really doesn't have any motive to lie to me about it. She's not trying to get me into a relationship with her or make me think more of her since I already explained that I thought highly of her. In fact, having told me what she did I'm pretty sure from my reaction that she knows I think less of her for not being strong enough to tell him she wouldn't do something like swinging if she didn't want to, no matter what threat he leveled at her. And I'm not passing judgement on her entire relationship, just the swinging aspect. That's the only aspect I have any information on. And it's not much of a stretch to think poorly of someone's character when they would do something like that. Umm, that's NOT all you're saying, but, again, I'll let that drop. I do agree that this confused me as well, and as I stated I asked her about it. Why was she sleeping with me if she didn't like swinging? She didn't answer that and at this point the answer doesn't matter. The answer would probably just upset me, and I suspect that's why she didn't answer it because she didn't want to upset me. My assumption is that she's confused about the whole thing herself, or even that she wanted to prove something to her husband. And she was right, either of those answers would've upset me.
  2. I hope so IE. The thought of someone having sex with me when it was not something they chose to do freely, without any form of coercion, is abhorrent to me. And I'd like to ask her about that again, since she didn't answer the first time, but I'm just going to let it lie. At this point the answer is irrelevant. Thanks for all the other great replies! As it stands now I've decided to stay in contact with her, but on a more limited basis. I'll try and be her friend and that's where it'll stay. No physical relationship and quite likely not any one-on-one time together. Just texts and IMs. And I'm the last one that should be giving marital advice so that's off the table. I told her what I thought of her husband and that's the last word I'll say to her about him unless she explicitly asks for my opinion. Actually, given those restrictions on our relationship, I'll be surprised if it survives. I suspect it will slowly dwindle and that's fine. I do take some slight exception to all the "two sides to the story" folks. I don't see any gray area here. If a wife tells her husband that she has no interest in swinging and then the husband tells her that he will leave her if she doesn't start swinging, knowing she's too weak to refuse given that threat, that is a form of abuse. Sorry, but there's just no way to "pretty that up" or to place any of the blame on her. Is she perfect? Absolutely not. She obviously has self esteem issues or when he told her that he would have found all his sh*t on the front lawn and the locks on the doors changed the next time he came home, but her faults in no way excuse what her husband has done and in fact her faults make what he has done even worse because he's taking advantage of those faults. Anyway, thanks again for all the advice, whether I agree with it or not! G.
  3. I'm not sure if I want advice or just to get my thoughts into words, but it is what it is........ A couple of months ago a coworker and I started some pretty heavy flirting. I'm always a flirt, but this went just a bit farther than the typical so she and I had a discussion. Turns out that she and her husband are swingers and had recently decided to extend that to an open relationship. I'm pretty open minded, but not a swinger, so I thought what the hell and she and I had a couple of full-on physical encounters. At some point I explained to her that I not only found her physically attractive, but that she had a huge number of additional qualities that made her quite beautiful and I proceeded to list a few. I fancy myself pretty good at reading body language and she was practically ready to jump out of her skin while she listened to me talk. Later on I asked her about that and she said she was not used to hearing such wonderful things said about her and that if I wanted to continue I couldn't repeat them again and had to keep it strictly about how physically attractive she was. I confusedly agreed at that point. After thinking about it though I changed my mind. She and I were supposed to be friends as well. If I couldn't tell her all the qualities I find attractive in her and have to constantly remind myself not to compliment her, what kind of a friendship is that? I confronted her with this and at that point the relationship was pretty much over. During that confrontation she FINALLY told me what she wanted. It was to quit swinging. She didn't like it and never wanted to do it in the first place. I asked her why then was she going out to any and all local events and setting up play times with other couples as often as possible. Short answer, her husband said he would leave her if she refused to swing. This made me physically ill. Her husband is essentially using her to get laid. Quite likely because the fu*ktard couldn't get laid on his own if he had a 12" dick and a billion dollars. Has anybody else ever run into this? How did you handle it? I should run away as fast as I can and never look back. But I do care about her as a friend, if nothing else. This woman is very intelligent, but she got involved with this guy when she was very young and just out of a sh*t childhood basically. I think she sees this guy (I refuse to call him a man) with the same eyes of that teenage girl she was when she met him, instead of through the eyes of the woman she is now. It also makes me feel ill that the sex she and I had she may have felt coerced into having because of her husband. I can't communicate just how sick it makes me feel to think that a woman had sex with me because she was coerced into it by her husband. Ugghhh! Anwyay, again, not sure what I expect in posting this, but it does make me feel better to get it out there. I appreciate the time anyone takes to read this.... G.
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