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sonofearth

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  • Content Count

    9
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Community Reputation

15 Good

About sonofearth

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 03/22/1983

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M.Male
  • Location
    Egypt
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. This is exactly what I'm talking about, I believe that bringing up the subject in the beginning of my marriage will only give the wrong msg, yes we have bee together for a year before marriage, but to ask that one month after marriage, I think is going to tackle up a lot of her natural female insecurities before I get the chance to assure her completely through building a solid marriage. I'm thinking about doing exactly what you said Angelkin, I'm trying to be realistic, as for the advice of "you should just go and ask her bluntly" ...I really think that I would work for "A Hard yes rather than an Easy No" you know guys what I thought about? ... I thought about building up the concept of Teaming up to meet a lady with my wife, I really got an interesting idea yesterday when I was flying with my wife to KSA .... but maybe I'll tell you about that in another post..
  2. No definitely not, I know that people are different and ofcourse I did not mean that your views are not valuable for me, on the contrary they opened my eyes to the idea that non telling for a while , might be though of as dishonesty, but the thing is it has its reasons as I said earlier, what I meant when I said to not be judgmental is to try to see things through my eyes. for an example... how long have you been married before your husband asked you, would your answer be the same if he asked that question a month after your marriage? Situations are different, so would the actions to be taken but the absolute no no is to think that I don't want what you have to say, because this is what I'm here for, I'm here to share, to debate, to know about your experience I'm absolutely needing everything you have to say
  3. Well, First, we have to agree on something, please do not think that I'm trying to have a hidden agenda behind my wife's back, because I think it's insulting to me, maybe some other men would have because they are insecure about theirselves or so, but I'm definitely not, there is a huge difference between hiding stuff from my wife,( which I definitely don't she even knows that I check out other women and she watches porn with me), and trying to work on the relationship to grow naturally so we become one and my fantasies and hers are one, what I want to work on is the jealousy and the possessiveness that would stop us from having this even if we both wanted it So please do not put me on the defensive and misinterpret what I say into the bad explanation instead of the good one on the other hand, I would not mind waiting for years before I pop the question it will never be a loss for me, because even if she said no then , she would say it because she's really not into it, but if she said no now ( before I work on building a solid super trust relationship) it might be for a variety of reasons other than she doesn't want it in her heart, and I'd have put her in the defensive or in the position where she might thing that every sexually adventurous thing that I'd do, might be because I'm trying to fulfill my multilover fantasy, other than just enjoying myself with her also I would never ever consider it a loss to work on my relationship for years, wait and introduce a lot of sexual stuff into our lives prior to asking the question , because the maturity and the pleasure of other sexual spices are enough gain. Km34, I know some couple live happily as monogamous, but it's not the wide rule, on the contrary I believe that many unhappy monogamous couples would be happier if they got other people in, for myself, this is what I want in my heart, and I love my wife above all so I'm ready to go all the journey with her even if the likelihood for it to happen was 1 % , because they journey itself is a huge gain. I know 100% that non monogamy is not the answer for a wrecked marriage troubles, but I see it as the prize of a real solid healthy one So the question here, would you guys help me throughout my journey, or are you going to be judgmental like other people we separated ourselves from and shut me off ?
  4. Well well well, first of all, thank you so much for all the sweet responses and the nice welcoming attitude, certainly guys you make me feel like home, actually reading what you write here, the way you interact and respect each other, being helpful and supportive, it all makes me think that having such a life style only adds to your maturity and develops your character much much more than any other experience, so thank you Michael, Julie and Km34 for everything you said BUT... I have to respectfully disagree with some of the stuff that you said, you see we live in a conservative society here in middle east, where open minded ppl like me have to keep their darker sides to themselves, and the sexuality taboo here is much much more disliked, I don't mean that my wife is severely conservative or something, but still the gap is a bit wider so I think in such matter of sharing bed with other people I cannot be very direct from the beginning, not because I want to manipulate her or something, but because I know that hitting that spot directly, even if she fantasizes about it (which I'm not sure if she does), would definitely create a barrier that I do not want to be created from the beginning specially that we're newly married, we have known each others for 3 years or so, but marriage itself is still new, so we haven't dealt with all the initial insecurities and new marriage worries yet, and I KNOW I have to create a solid trustful marriage in order to go on with the swinging road comfortably What I had in mind is making her comfortable enough with the idea on the long term, while working on my marriage and jealousy issues and her insecurities which comes out from living in such a conservative society, actually it's not only the society, it's the media brainwash... that shows polyamory as the ultimate sin, and natural sexual fantasy of more than two persons in bed as the gate to hell ..... it's unnatural and repressing, it's like locking a bird in a cage, then you expect him to marry happily. So I'm trying to be honest with myself, I know that monogamy is not natural and it causes couples to have a robotic marriage where they lay deadly in the poisonous comfort zone, why work out, why dress up while you will have the same thing anyway.. this is the way Human beings think, and from most of the posts I read here, this was the case for many ppl until they started swinging, having to work on themselves in order to still be attractive to other couples or singles. Anyhow I don't want to be too boring with all that talk, because I have hundreds of thoughts about the subject that I can go on writing for ever but what I really want here is to be a part of the family, I'm a young guy, I'm newly married, I believe that my wife and myself deserve the wildest sex life we can have, because I love her and I love myself too, so I want your guidance, experience and above all, your friendship because I know I'll not be able to do it without you being around me. Joe
  5. First, I'd like to say that I admire everyone here for being so brave about their sexual fantasies and being able to take it to the next level(if they did), my story in short is that I'm newly married, but because I love my wife, and I've had many experiences before, I know that sexuality between couples burn out after a while, ofcourse this is not the case here, we're just starting, but the thing is I know that this day will come, me and my wife are young, we're in our late 20s, so what I have in mind is to shape our sexual life early, and planting the seeds of a wild, interesting sexual life from the beginning, because it's simply devastating to think that I'd ever let myself and her go through the phase of her laying on her back and me just going missionary and that's it after I finish because we have to wake up for work and her for her work or house work ... No way this is going to happen So I guess I'm still at phase 1 concerning shaping our sexual wardrobe, I have so many questions in my head, one of them ofcourse is ... would she be interested in spicing things up a bit for an example with an FFM fantasy (just a fantasy) ... how would I know my wife's sexual feelings about other women? how to approach such matter without offending her or burning up my chances for later encounters with frightening her off early?
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