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81lizard69

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81lizard69 last won the day on January 28 2015

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About 81lizard69

  • Rank
    Super Contributor
  • Birthday 02/21/1967

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married
  • Location
    Metro denver
  • Interests
    Flying floating fucking. We like it all.
  • Swinging Experience
    We are light swingers. We dont play much. But when we do... its hot.
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. We play with a older couple. He is a in shape man and so is she. They are both hot. The woman lost her teeth in a motorcycle accident years ago. Wear a full face helmet please. She hit her face on the handle bars of the bike and lost most of her teeth back in the 80's. She had the rest removed a few years ago because of tmj. When we first started swiging with them I never knew she was wearing dentures. We played and she did it all. She was a good kisser and gave good head. After a couple of years she opened up to me she wore dentures and it took me by suprise.. she whispered in my ear she wanted to give me a gum job without her teeth.. It was great.. it has to be one of the best bj's I had ever had. I would have never known she did not have her own teeth if she had not told me. Which brings me to say that having swinging partners that you are close to is a sweet experience. I hold her in high esteem and would never betray her self image. As I am sure she would do the same for others. I have only one testicle and have never heard a complaint about my scars of absent testi.. There seems to be a mutual admiration of kindness and acceptance found with swingers. The people I have met have taught me so much about accepting others from all walks of life. I have used those lessons in everyday life. My confidence as a man must have doubled when I really knew I could swing and other women really desired me. I can really see that in my wife. The way she carries herself is more confident. I am know that you will be ok and will have fun in what you do.. Because us swingers are good people.
  2. I am going to add it might be time to do some mental house cleaning. Heck if I have unfinished business like late bills. Or trouble at work.. my libido gets sick.. and does not come out. I dont know what it is.. I think maybe protecting myself from not letting down my guard harboring bad life experiences can take its tool on my love life. How can I be there for some one else when I have other shit on my mind.. That is why cleaning my plate or cleaning up the past really helps me in bed.. It can be a hose I left out. that is worrying me or a argument I had with one of my family members.. God must of wired me to stay good with everyone cause if I am not I am a self adsorbed worry waer.
  3. You are morally responsible for yourself and it ends there. In the third world where (slave labor makes your clothes) those jobs are coveted. It is a cycle that will produce better lives for people in the end. You see the good news is that they are dividing up the labor. They no longer have to make their food and work... they can work and earn food that some one else grows. It is freeing them from that burden. I read a story about a monk that took a American woman on a tour of a Asian country. The American woman became more and more upset upon looking at the conditions of women on the trip. The women were treated as property. They had no say in the community, could not vote or own property, etc. She finally confronted the monk about this and he said if women lives a good life in this life they could come back in the next life as a man. You see there is no such thing as original sin. It was a myth made up to create fear in us that what we do is lacking in something and therefore brings shame on what we say do and think. Altering our minds to do something someone else thinks we should do so they can feel ok about themselves, i.e. if my wife cheats on me I will feel bad about myself. I am less of a man and others will think less of me because I am not good enough for her at home. Maybe I do not make enough money to keep her. My dick is too small, I come to fast. Man that starts some unwanted thoughts. Things in relationships change. We are not the same people who got married 20 years ago. If my wife wants to have sex with another man or leave me I am ok with it. I love her and myself that much. If there is so much miscommunication and dishonesty going on a man might want to consider why he is in that relationship. Hell a man might want to be in a relationship that is based in that. The good news is that there really is no moral high ground. Just levels of communication. communication is skill that needs to be cultivated. Couples can practice and get stronger at it. Once I hit the point of tired of being fearful of not getting what I want and calm enough to see how I want to be I can ask others how to get there. It all goes back to setting goals for yourself. Are we willing to let go of fears of not getting what we want and actually getting what we desire. I desire a big fat steak while wearing a cheap shirt that makes me look good. HA
  4. I let my wife tie me up once back in the day.. I am not into that now would I do that again. It seems in our home state there is alot of bdsm that goes on behind the scenes of most swinger play.. My wife likes to be in control when we swing and she is not ready to give that up. She wanted me to play slave to her during a master slave intro thing at a larger party we attended.. and well.. It just was not for me.. Maybe just maybe if I did it it would set me free... I am just not ready to take that step yet. There is another group that does a completly dark room.. its just bodies in a hot room where it is so dark you can not tell who or what is happening to you.. We passed on that... Then there is a group that is bareback.. Anal you name it.. We passed there. I dont know if roll playing is kink.. but maybe role playing is the way to go..
  5. Ok... Cheating is wrong. However. I will say this. She does make a point that is worth talking about in this quote. She complains that you work long hours and she is bored. I so get this. I went through a period of unemployment last year. My wife is a worker bee. She is the go-to woman at her job and that drives me nuts some times. She works too many hours a week and she loves it. I really do not like it. In fact I hated it when I was unemployed and today I don't like the working weekends or late nights. I know it is what she loves doing and I give that to her. But, I really know what it is like to be left at home wondering what I am gong to do until she came home. I would plan to be with he and then get shot down cause she was late or just too tired to comply. It is a real issue, especially if she has a large sex drive. If you married a sex kitten and you are not feeding the kitty... She is going to get hungry. I am looking at her statement. Not her actions of cheating, that she is bored, as a call to you to spend more time with her. She wants to be a priority and wants to swing. That is a good thing in the swinging community. You are lucky on that respect. I am older and know in my heart that I want my married life to be a happy one. She sounds a little unhappy with what is going on, and if I may read into it she said you would say no if she asked to swing without you. This seems to be indicating two things from her. She might be scared to talk to you about what she wants so she just does it behind your back. That is a relationship problem and not just her problem. Communication seems to be broken in her ability to tell you what she wants. That is your problem. In other words she is looking outside of the relationship for a need that is not being met. Here is where I suggest some inward contemplation be taken on your part. It is not your fault that she cheated. But you are in a relationship that is on the rocks. It is your life you share with her and things are not working out so well. She sounds lonely. Your wife that you love wants to spend more time with you... that is a good thing. It has been my experience that when things go wrong I try to do things to make the relationship work out so I feel good about it. But in that state of mind I can justify leaving out how she feels and justify poor behavior on my part towards her and that only makes things worse. Hell, how do you not think of cheating when you look at her... or think of her. That wound won't heal so easily if there is a hidden game of pay back going on. Maybe this is something that can grow the relationship.. If you are away from home most of the time why not let her play alone. Set some rules up for this. Now this is just a suggestion.. If you will this is just another way to look at the problem. I hope it works our for the best for you..
  6. This would drive me crazy. I do not know how you are holding up. My wife is hot and has a huge sex drive so I get the playing thing and keeping sex new and fresh, but stepping out without permission can not end well... unless maybe you have came to a place where you can accept it. I know that some men cheat and just can not stop... women have to do the same thing. What are your options?
  7. We can so relate to this.. In the swinger community that we travel in we are attracted to few that we really like to play with. There are two men that my wife really loves and one passed recently much to everyone surprise. He was way to young to go.. it broke her heart to loose him. I have had a couple of women that have rocked my world.. one.. and she was the total package. She was a fitness nut. Had a great job.. is smart, well read and traveled. I really hit it off with her. We must have been married in another life. She could end my sentences and I hers.. we are a match. We care about eachother.. and feel strongly about one another.. and that is as good as it gets for us. My wife gives me space with her as I give space to her.. It was a good day when I could finally let go of having to be everything for my wife and her being everything to me. That let the pressure off so we would not have to pretend not to like our swinging friends. Or even love them. If my wife decides she does not want me and went to another man I would let her. As she would do that for me.. I want a partner not a hostage. I chose and made a promise to be with her and I feel that way about my wife. I did not hear you talk much about your wife in this. How does she feel about your relationship with her? Does she have a fwb? For us the infatuation will pass.. it always does. No one can fit next to me in life like mine does. Those tender moments are what I live for. I live to make my wife happy..
  8. I like my testicles dont get me wrong.. but for me being a guy there is just not to much excitement going on with those two guys.. They seem to be more of a liability than a asset. They are so fragile and moody.. if you dont treat them right the smell like ass and if you pump to hard they hurt.. Some women seem to love to put them in their mouth's... but that just frightens me. Why couldn't t god have tucked them up in my abdomen where they started in life? I vote two thumbs down for the hairy twins.
  9. Adultfriendfinder has some communities that fit that description. Hold on to your wallet if you join aff
  10. Hey. I have had some lovers in the swing community that were out of my league. Hell my wife is out of my league and I will say that I married up.. I have lots of good qualities and know my limitations. I am ok with it. We swing with some guys that are bigger, faster, smarter than me. If I Listen to those voices in my head I can go crazy. Watch that inner dialogue dear. It will lie to you.. tell you things that are not true and ruin your day.
  11. I wish I lived closer to funcouple. This sounds like something I would want to do.
  12. We tend to look at profiles as illusions. Profiles are really put out there to attract rather than to be real. We all see ourselves differently than how others do. Most of us see ourselves how we want to. It's not a bad thing, it just happens. I know that (pickiness cause we can) thing just screams insecurity to me... I don't know about you... but for me it does. Would we pass over them for writing that no. They are probably real and just made a bad word play. A new trend that annoys me is the phrase (we are a low circulation couple). Never mind that their profile says we have been swingers for 20 years, belong to ten swinger sights and have just returned from Club Hedo... LOL. After reading that I was confused but turned on. Or the couple profiles where the wife does not play any more its just the male playing and he does not tell you till you set up a time to meet you and his wife can not make it.
  13. Wow a long trip to another country with out me... In any relationship that would cause strain just by itself. I think things need to be fair and that does not feel fair to me. Then with Lora being around more I can understand your hurt feelings. Hell I am not comfortable with the three week trip. I am not poly, but do understand your feelings. How does a person talk to another when they feel like they are getting squeezed out of a relationship? Asking the question and hoping not to hear the answer you want to hear expecting the worst is hard..... Talk to David and ask him how he feels about Lora. Tell him you are feeling a resentment about their relationship but you can not put your finger on what you are feeling. I would stop and not demonize Lora. She is not making you feel anything. Just to let you know some tools I use in life are thus. I ask myself when in in that crazy place what am I afraid of? How am I trying to manage that fear. Is the way I am trying to manage that fear working? Then ask yourself how do you want to be.. How do you want the relationship between you, David and Lora to be. What is the ideal best situation possible for you.. First.. then the group. I find that if I can ground myself in love and come from the place of love instead of fear I am acting pro creatively.. other than coming from a place of fear and making decisions out of fear. For me if I make a decision because I am fearful I tend to settle for the lessor of two evils instead of getting the best for me.. Does that makes sense to you? This is advice works for me. I hope you can find something from this that works for you.
  14. We have sent the survivor a email, flowers, to the viewing and nice card. We were close and will probably attend the funeral. Thank you for the kind replies.
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