Wowzers.
Looks like ya hit a nerve, bud.
I think that you're on the right track. When Tink and I met our first couple (it's been almost 8 months now, and they've become dear friends, believe it or not- yeah, big surprise) we were so nervous; and we had a lot of discussion about situations and how we would deal with them.
For example: "Would you kiss him?" How would you feel if I kissed her?" How would you feel if during our first meet (at a local pool hall/dance hall ) if I or you slow danced with one of them?
So yeah, I think that talking about it is a good thing.
Now, here's something- I only glanced at all the posts on this thread, and I didn't see anything about the idea of you guys going to a club together, just to sort of stick your toes in, see what's happening, and then either getting down w/ each other or going home and having wild monkey sex.
Going to a club doesn't mean that you have to do anything with other people- you're on a recon mission sort of. That's how Tink & I tried the lifestyle for the first time. We didn't do anything w/ any-body's body other than each other.
But it was HOT!
Maybe that would be a good way to start.
Otherwise you're doing good- and yeah, you do write funny!