Before you tell me what to do about my situation hear it out.
I am a dude.
I am 34 years old.
I am still a virgin.
Yes, I know, I am a loser, go ahead, point fingers, laugh.
I have been on very few dates, all with people that I have nothing in common with and have no business being around. I kissed a girl for the first time when I was 26 years old and the dates I did go to were always initiated by women. I tried asking out girls I liked, but my game is shit. No one has ever said yes. No one.
I feel like less of a man because of this. I am no Fabio either lookwise or bodywise, but I am not ugly either. I am sick of mastering "the game" to pick up women, because I've tried many approached throughout my teens, twenties and thirties. I am simply done with this shit.
But I am also ready to toss my V-card for good. I just feel like a boy who never grew up because of it.
Please do not get upset if these kinds of questions are unwelcome. I seriously do not know ANYTHING about sex and how to get it, so the swingers' board was my first guess. I don't mean to piss in anyone's Cheerios. It's the last thing on my mind. And I am not a troll, either.
I am humbly asking you, experts (compared to me anyway), what is a 34 year old virgin to do? This is not a scream of desperation, though I'm sure that is exactly what this comes off as. All I want to do is simply get laid. No pick up lines, no wining and dining, no awkward pauses and all that other teenage bullshit that I've seen way too much and gets absolutely nowhere. May be a little small talk, but when it's over I just put on my shit, wave good bye and leave.