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bothhornynow

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15 Good

About bothhornynow

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/21/1966

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    montreal
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Funny you mention that....I spoke to her about a very similar situation yesterday to what you just said, I want her to have full control over who we meet, the attraction has to be there for her or we don't meet!!! I mentioned we should go back to soft swap for now with couples, and I also offered to do another MFM so right now it's look a lot more possitive then last week
  2. Getting her to talk openly has proven to be one of my biggest challenges since we been together, but as long as she willing to try to figure this out I'm there for her.
  3. I just want you all to know that a lot of what has been said here has been talked about many times......the main purpose of this thread was to have complete strangers say what I have been saying for a long time, sometimes things will come across a lot better or much better understood form someone you don't even know then from some one you love. And once again.....it's not all about me.....
  4. Thanks for taking the time.....I think you hit home on a few things here.
  5. You keep mentioning that it's all about me.....you have no clue as to what I have done to try to make this work...and when I say that, I mean, make her feel comfortable, secure and confident about her self. To just end it all....sure, I can do that, but let me tell you that we've been together for over 24 years now and I consider her to be my partner!! so this is a decision that has to be made by both of us, to put it on hold! I've done that, until she figures out how to resolve this or end it all together. If she wants to end it, I'm fine with that, if she wants to move forward, I'll be there to support her. But to keep going on about "it's all about you" I'm starting to wonder if you don't have some of your own issues, I asked for help and advise and I haven't seen anything positive from you so I will disregard anything else you have to say.... Honestly.....I personally not interested in separate rooms, but thanks for the suggestion.
  6. At first I could say she didn't feel that way.....the very first time we went to a swingers club, like many we didn't really know what to expect, for me that was probably the most uncomfortable night I've experienced since being it the lifestyle, she got dressed up really sexy, heads were turning as we walked by people and that turned me on at first to see.....where things got uncomfortable for me is when I seen guys look at her then me and have that look on their face like dammm what is she doing with him......was it really that way...probably not, probably my perception of things at the time, but she knew I wasn't comfortable about it, for 2 years I tried to lose weight but I guess that was the kick in the ass I needed at the time.
  7. I can see how you might see it that way and I don't find it rude for the fact that you don't know me, everything I've said about myself is all feedback that I've gotten from my wife, I don't think I'm some kind of a god.....and if you go back to my first post and read you will see that I have said to my wife that I think we should put all of this on hold until we could resolve this or stop all together. Also....as for giving her more attention....I've always put her in first place and that will never change. We recently had a 3 some with a guy for the very first time, I picked the guys and let her chose the one that interested her the most, the guy she picked was younger in better shape and was above average and honestly I think he was better looking then me...but I had no problem with that at all, that evening was all for her pleasure...so sorry but I know it's not all about me.
  8. We've had conversation about what her perception is towards other women and her perception towards me, in her mind any women is lucky to spend an evening with me. She says I know how to please a women in ever aspect and that she has not had that on her end, my perception to this is and I have explained this to her, first, we love each other very much and this is something we don't share with others, second, what I do to other women doesn't mean it turns them on like it does to you, third, if for any reason you feel uncomfortable or jealous or both how is it even possible for the other man to please you!!! I'll add a missing piece to the puzzle, we are very selective to whom we go with and always have been, when we first started I was 50 lbs heavier, I've lost weight, been working out and my appearance is a lot better then we first started, my perception of this = better looking, better chances of meeting people that interest us. Her perception today about this = not a fair trade, to her most men are not in the best of shape, short and average. BTW....she's a very sexy women, slim with nice long legs and an ass to kill for, I think we balance out each other today very well, but I have no doubt what I have done has added to the problems I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place with this one.......
  9. Oh I agree.....and I'm trying to understand a woman's perception, don't forget I am a man , any feed back especially from women could help me to help her.....
  10. I agree that this is very possible and I've talked to her about this, but like I have mentioned to her and I'm almost sure that most women here will agree.....what is the difference how long I am or any other guy, almost every women I've been with including my wife, has an orgasm when I'm only 3 to 4 " in, I wouldn't trade what I have but honestly any guy who is average and knows how to us it is going to please most women.....she agree's with that, but the problem is still there.
  11. I've tried to get down to the bottom of this so many times. I've asked her to try to explain what goes on in her mind when she see's me with another women and I can never get a straight answer. I've known for some time now that I'm well above average but it has become well apparent because of certain comments with other women and she has realized this also, I think this has something to do with it, I don't really understand why, as she can have me anytime she want's me.
  12. We been in the lifestyle for a few years now, the first few experiences went very well but since the past year, every couple we've been with has seen some kind of jealousy on the Mrs part, it's not to the point where it will end the evening but enough where at times it makes me uncomfortable, she will give me a look and I could tell she's not happy with what she see's. There where a couple of situations where the other women would mention how big I was, within no time the Mrs would stop what she was doing with the other guy, get up and smoke a cigarette, each time this happen I would stop with the other women and go see her, she would calm down each time and things would get back on track. She had mentioned at one point that it doesn't turn her on to see me with another women, that most of the time she doesn't feel that it's an even trade, I've never forced her to move forward with a couple or forced her to watch, the only thing I ever asked was that we made eye contact every now and then to make sure all is good on both sides and also that we find time for both of us to play together. I have always made it clear to her that it was important to me that we both have a good time and that we are there to share each other and that if she's not comfortable with what's going on, then we would just pack up and leave. My big dilemma is, I said to her, we need put the lifestyle a side until we can figure out how to resolve this and that if we can't then we need to just move on, she refuses to give up but the problems are still there and it is causing endless conversation and arguments. There is jealousy but at the same time there is also pleasure, we need advice and I know most of you will say you need to stop!! but hopefully there are couples out there that have overcome this kind of situation and could help. BTW....we both decided together that the lifestyle seemed to be for us, nobody forced anyone into it, our sex life together is great, it did bring us closer together but something went wrong somewhere. So any help or advise would be appreciated
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