Jump to content

socalers

Registered
  • Content Count

    28
  • Joined

Community Reputation

29 Excellent

About socalers

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/19/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Inland Empire, CA
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. sweet, i see your point. really i do. i wish we could be as forthright with them as people suggest. we are very new to the LS and our thoughts and feelings about it are still confused and evolving. we still find ourselves changing our minds about things on an almost daily basis. i don't agree that they are no longer vanilla friends. they have no idea about us and, other than subtle hints from the hubby on the rare occasion (which comes across as him being facetious), our relationship with them is indistinguishable from that of a vanilla friendship. for now, we'd like to keep it that way. they also know many of our other vanilla friends. i know they would be discreet. but i have been in other situations where secrets that were meant to be kept, were exposed through an accidental slip of the tongue. why take the chance? we'd like to keep the circle of people that know about our secret as small as possible. with that in mind, we've decided NOT to show our faces on the ad site. this is one of those situations where we've changed our minds several times. thanks again for the thoughtful replies.
  2. i guess in this instance i will be disagreeing with the majority of posters here. but i do appreciate everyone's feedback. our decision to block our friends from seeing our profile has nothing to do with relative "hotness,", weight, age, body type, sexual preference, etc. it has everything to do with the fewer people knowing about us in the LS the better. it has everything to do with maintaining vanilla relationships, even with our hottest of vanilla friends. we just are not attracted to any of our vanilla friends in that way and would like to keep our private lives as private as we can; even if those vanilla friends are in the LS. and as far as any of our friends blocking us? honestly it wouldn't bother me in the least. i'm sure they would have their reasons as we have ours.
  3. I'm struggling with this now myself although we have not had any encounters yet. we talk about swinging before we have sex, then get all hot and bothered and fuck our brains out, and then i wonder why i was thinking those things. after some time, I'm back to thinking about it again with a bulge in my pants. rinse and repeat.
  4. Thanks! We have our first meeting ever with another LS couple tomorrow. Found a sitter to watch them for a few hours. One of the other problems that we are going to run into is what to tell our sitter about where we are off to.
  5. hi, We have two small children that mean more to us than anything. As we get closer to meeting our first couple, we are starting to run into some minor difficulties with child care. We have no family where we live so that is out. We have friends that would be more than willing to take them but we hate imposing. babysitters we've met usually have to be home fairly early. I was wondering how other parents in the LS deal with these difficulties while at the same time maintaining their privacy? Thanks for the help!
  6. wow that was easy. now we can post our face pics and keep our friendship going along with the status quo. not that they will never find out. but i feel more comfortable this way. thanks again!
  7. yes i think blocking them would be better. i would rather not have them reading our ad if at all possible and keep things according to the current status quo.
  8. we are just getting started in the LS and noticed, purely by accident, that we have close friends on an ad site. suddenly all the subtle hints from them have become clear. the problem is that we have no attraction to them sexually. they are great vanilla friends to us though. we had been considering posting our faces on ad sites now we're not so sure. the fear is that they will see us on an ad site and see that as an invitation since they have been dropping subtle hints at us for awhile now. we really want to continue our vanilla friendship without hurting any feelings. but we also want to be relatively open on ad sites by showing our faces if possible. how do we handle this? be open and let them know that we are entering the LS but there is no attraction? continue keeping it a secret to them and don't post our faces? thanks for the help.
  9. yeah i agree "boredom" really isn't the right word. we really aren't bored with each other or we wouldn't still be together or even considering ways to spice up our sex life. maybe "routine" is a better word but even that doesn't quite fit either. let's just say we are looking to expand our boundaries and add some additional variety to our sex life.
  10. twistedpretzels, ugh that does not sound fun. but we are going to try it anyways. excuse the noob question but what exactly is a meet and greet?
  11. who wouldn't experience some boredom after 23 years? we need some excitement! thanks for all of the great posts. we are going take things very very slow and expand our boundaries as our comfort level increases. since my wife is looking for a more intimate setting and is a tad bit uncomfortable with going to a club, we are going to take the more difficult and time consuming online route to find another couple that fits us. maybe do a little webcam play. thanks again!
  12. Hi There- I'm the wife counterpart to our happy but curious couple and here's my chime. I'm a bit more laid back about our decision to explore 'the lifestyle'. Although still nervous about the idea of actually 'doing' it (pun intended...) I guess I've never really had any hangups or concerns, just hasn't been a road we as a couple have gone very far down. Like many I'm sure, I've had fantasies about swinging, just always wanted to find the 'right' couple. For me, it seems someone I know somewhat and can trust vs. someone we pick up at a club would be better. I've been the one that, as we made friends with a new couple for what ever reason, have thought hmmm... maybe with them? Typically though, we never go down that road and wind up getting too close to people to feel comfortable introducing that kind of angle to a relationship. Unfortunately, hubby and I haven't always been equally amenable and open to the lifestyle, but we're happy as a couple so it hasn't been a big deal to me. So now we are getting more serious about moving forward. I really like the idea of using posts on this site as a way to get more information, share ideas and just get more comfortable. As a full time working mom, my primary concerns at this point are more practical. We have younger children, tight finances and not alot of babysitting support. I'd love to hear from others about overcoming those more practical obstacles. The more serious issues about trust, insecurities and the like are things I feel, we have discussed (and continue to do so) and we can address as we move forward. I'm one who likes to plan ahead, but doesn't beat myself up over what may be. I welcome any input/advice from others and appreciate what the responses so far. Guess I'll be seeing everyone around!
  13. vegas - i see what you mean about clubs being your preference. my only issue is that i'm not much of a dancer although i am very outgoing and sociable. dancing has never been my thing since i'm a bit of a rocker. i always associate clubs with lots of dancing although i've never been to a swingers club. bb - thanks for the thoughtful post. in fact, we do discuss the lifestyle outside the bedroom. we've discussed everything from the benefits such as fantasy fulfillment to the not so fun stuff such as protecting ourselves from potential STDs and pregnancy. one thing i would like to add is that i do not want to put words into my wife's mouth. we'll see if she chimes in on my interpretation on how she feels about swinging in my initial post.
  14. hi there, i've been lurking on the boards for a bit and this is my first post. i really like this forum community for it's maturity, courteousness, and well thought responses. i'm the male half of a married couple. we are both in our early 40s and we've been happily married for 13 years and together for 23 years and love each other very much. the two of us have very little experience fucking and sucking other people since we were so young when we started dating. all we know is each other sexually. we have yet to try swinging of any sort although we are both open to trying. we are very open with our communication and have been discussing swinging on and off for the last 5 years or so but with more interest lately. the delay has been due to me and my hang ups. for years now i've harbored secret fantasies of watching my wife get fucked by one or two men or another couple. i've been afraid to admit this because of fear of being labeled as an in-the-closet gay or a sexual deviant; although i have nothing against gay people in the least. after years of soul searching, i finally revealed my fantasies tot he wife. she was totally open minded and helped me to realize that i am not gay, bi, or bi curious but just get wildly turned on even just thinking of watching my wife be pleasured by others. i used to get turned on when i would think of her solely with other women. i think the reason why i now get turned on thinking of her with other men is that she is, plain and simply, a lover of cock and i want her to be pleasured by what she loves. although she is not averse to light play with other women, her fantasies revolve strictly around the cock. as an example, i was teasing her one night and told her that i was going to bring home another dude and blindfold her while we had fun with her. she loved this idea and gave me the go ahead haha! one potential problem is that she is not so sure that she would be turned on watching me fuck another woman, but she is definitely turned on by the thought of being fucked by other men. when we have sex, it is usually great. we are both still very much sexually attracted to one another. but we have struggled with boredom over the years due to being with the same person for so long. our first spate of boredom we solved by watching porn and our second we solved with toys. subsequent periods of boredom were met with mild role playing, talking dirty, one session of anal sex, mutual masturbation, etc. it seems we have run out of ideas for sexual gratification and are now seriously considering the lifestyle. based on the little that i revealed about us, do you think we could potentially get alot out of the lifestyle? if so, should we start with online hookups or going to our local swingers club? if we decide to go ahead, we are going to start slow by having sex with others in the same room. if that goes well we may move onto soft swap and then follow with full swap. thanks for reading my ramblings!
×
×
  • Create New...