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Socal1970

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  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

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15 Good

About Socal1970

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/24/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Socal
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Again, thanks for the comments. I, through my profession, have developed a pretty good communication ability. I listen, then restate thier point, sympathize, then offer my opinion or commnets, paying special attention to not attacking the person, but the problem, and always use words like, "I feel" or I think", never "You do this or that" type comments. She though, simply has no ability, learned or what ever to communicate. It is me saying how I feel, and then her counter attack imediatly. Kinda puts a wall up. We have found that email is the best way. Although it is a jumbled bunch of comments from her, I can at least respond in a clear and calmer manor. Anyway, I may just let this one sit a while. I ahve alwasy been the one making plans, hotel reservationed, plans, dinners. She did once and we wound up staying in a ghetto motel, pretty sure it waas a meth hotel. We laughed and agreed to let me do the planning. I think this may be her reasoning.
  2. Thansk for the replies. So, In my email which I stated I was fine with just the wathcing/being watched deal, and I love her more that the play and we can stop with it all, and SHE can make any future arrangements if SHE decides she wants to do it again. She reads the email, and about an hour later, says she is fine now with going and I shouldnt have canceled the reservations. I say, if you want to go, YOU can make the reservations that way I dont have this feeling of guilt or something on me. She says that I know the places and have all the contacts. We kind of leave it at that. SO, do I recall and make the arrangements? Part of me wants to, but the head on my shoulders says to bail and not touch this one again. Advise? Should I let it all go, or re-make reservations? Can she really be over the whole episode that quickly? PS - Just want to add, I am not some husband trying to pressue the wife to do anything she doesnt want to do at all. I do like the watching/being watched thing, and OK if it ever goes further.
  3. So, the background - Wife and I have been to a few clubs and simply had fun with each other. We discussed this would be our limits and that was all cool. We both enjoyed the fun. We only do this about 1-2 times a year. My wife is a horrible communicator, we figured out her emailing me is best and we go from there. If we discuss something in person, she simply builds a wall and the discussion ends. As in, I tell her how I feel, and she either comes back with I am wrong, dumb, or stupid for thinking that. Basically it is imposisble to communicate with someone who has no skills at listening/discussing. She mentioned a trip to a local resort would be fun. I make some arrangements. The next day she turns silent. Sends me an email saying that If she thinks I want more, and she isnt comfortable with it. That she feels like I want more than she does, and she is uncomfortable. Something about how she needs to find out if other couples do this or if I am some nut case. Ending in I need to be honest so we can either split or get past this. She tells me she did enjoy the first few times we did this, but the last few she feels pressure to do more and didnt enjoy our times there at all. Now, I am fine with simply playing with each other. We discussed our boundaries, never had an issue with it. We do enjoy talking about swinging while having sex, but both know its just that. I have not pushed her and anything otherwise. I wouldnt mind trying more, but am fine with what we have already. Whats my response? I am at a loss on this one. I am fine with doing what we did, but now feel like she is only going for my benefit and thats not good at all. I canceled all resevervations, but have not told her yet. Any advice from veterns on this one? PS- I have been to counseling a few times over our communication breakdown. Even the counseler said good luck to me. She is a tough one.
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