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PassionIsIn

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15 Good

About PassionIsIn

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 12/08/1986

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Eastern NC
  • Swinging Experience
    5 years
  • Anniversary
    03/26/05

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    PassionIsIn
  • Favorite Club(s)
    You Know Where

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  1. And one more thing to add here in case anyone would like to add their 2 or 3 cents on it...hubby and I rehashed where/when the distraction comes about. He explains it comes from the majority (not all...we're excluding the fun/successful foursomes we've had) of our experiences where the male has one of two distracting tendencies...the porn director who wants to throw constant commentary into every pinch and tickle or the creepy peeping tom-esque male with the fixed stare . I have to say, I believe I understand where he's coming from
  2. Oh look at you, you research. Lol. That is very good advice, Brett. As hard as it is to do, I try my best to control the urge to psycho-analyze or "counsel" nonsuspecting victims but you're right it was a good opportunity for me to try and help him through whatever insecurity he may have been having. I think the sudden change in the flow of the evening or turbulence really caught me off guard. Now that you've mentioned it, I can think of better ways to have responded than (lol). But then again, in the realm of sexuality...I don't know if a man with a tendency towards insecure outbursts is really worth my extra effort, if I'm being honest with myself. LOL. Confident men are easier and a helluva lot more fun than, well...cry babies. It's more a conflict of how compassionate to be without forfitting the very qualities that turn me on about a guy to begin with, haha. Definitely food for thought Thank you for the input. Sam
  3. I know what you mean. It doesn't matter to me either way, same room is good for me because I have the opportunity to kiss and play with the lady, but separate room is just as fine with me. Hubby's problem really just depends on his comfort level with who we are with. If we have known the couple for a long time/they are regular play-pals and close friends, he doesn't have any problems. Maybe just a little new-people anxiety? It's only when they are new to us that he seems to have that issue. When that happens, he might get "a little chubby" (LOL) but not fully erect, so he uses the time in a 4some to warm up the lady and get to know her body a bit and let's me have "girl time" while he plays with me. We've had several FMFs and he's never had the same problem with another woman, only with other men. We've talked to the wife since this little issue, and she said it was absolutely no big deal, and that they really like us. But not the husband. I get the feeling he's embarassed, and would rather avoid us than deal with his embarassment. I really feel there's no reason for embarassment as I wasn't dissatisfied and tried to make that as clear as possible. What I did want was for him to relax a little, as he seemed so uptight, a little pushy and definitely insecure. Not to sound uncompassionate, but the whining and insecurity was a huge turn off. I felt, this man is 15 years my senior and he's acting like a child... I guess the insecurity could've spawned from my age and being much younger than him...I don't suppose it would be a first, but if I didn't like older men, I simply wouldn't see them. And mid-twenties certainly doesn't mean ridiculous or immeasurable expectations. I'm an understanding person, and would be willing to see them again if I knew this wouldn't become a problem again. I really don't think that's going to happen though, unless this hubby can balls-up a bit and handle his issues in a more mature fashion. That was my only problem with the whole thing. If he had said "I'm not as comfortable as I thought I'd be", I would have given him the same courtesy and maybe we could've worked something out where everyone was happy. He was drinking most of the night, I suppose that did not help the problem! Lesson learned, ease into new situations! lol. Thanks so much for all the input. You guys are so fast and so helpful. Glad to be here! Samantha (Sam & Ryan)
  4. There are many moving parts to this, so I'll try not to ramble on here. Would love some input though! I consider hubby and I "experienced" in the swinging world, we've been involved for 5 years, with short periods of no activity. We just came back into things after a short hiatus, and our first experience in really perplexed me a bit. We'd never had seperate room or same room be an issue for anyone before...if they were same room only, they would say so...if they were seperate room only they would say so, and depending on how good the chemistry was, we'd move forward accordingly. Well this first couple we met since we've been back said it really didn't matter, that they had only done same room but were open to anything. Apparently that was not the case. We told them what we tell everyone, that we don't mind warming up together in 4some, but like to enjoy the other partner more intimately later in the evening. Everything was fine, we got along like old friends. It was getting late, and hubby from the other couple was getting really pushy about where the night was going, it was obvious he wanted to play (that would have usually had me end the evening without play, since that's a huge turnoff for me) but because we had such a good time/good chemistry, I wanted to see how things would go. We did as we usually do, started with a 4some, then my husband asked the lady if she'd like to go upstairs and both her and her husband agreed. Her hubby finished with me quickly and then went upstairs saying he wanted to watch them in hopes he'd get his mojo back again He was very apologetic with me, and kept making excuses for being so quick, even after I'd told him again and again that I didn't need an all-nighter. Regardless, he persisted. Thing is, MY hubby has issues with his equipment when another man watches him, he gets distracted and feels like he can't focus on the person he's with (hence the stated preferences). When the other hubby came upstairs, mine let him watch for a while, and as usual, started to have equipment issues. He stopped and told the husband was a bit distracted with another man watching, and he said the man apologized and left the room. The guy left and came downstairs and was noticeably annoyed. Then he threw a complete temper-tantrum like a 2 year old saying "I should be able to watch my own wife if I want to" and went on and on about it. I told him several times, if separate rooms made him uncomfortable, all he had to do is say the word and playtime would end. I apologized for any miscommunication there might have been, he said there was no hard-feelings but that he wanted to leave. He then MADE me go upstairs and get his wife (who was very obviously having a good time) for him so they could leave. Wife was seemingly shocked when I came upstairs to get her, acted as if she wanted to stay and was confused at why they were suddenly leaving. Anyway, they left, and there we sat, completely confused and befuddled by what had just happened. Rooms had never been a problem with anyone we had ever met/played with before. I guess my question is...what do you think the problem here could have been, and is same room/separate room a deal-breaker for many? I really don't think I want to see this couple again if this is how immature the husband is going to act the minute his wife leaves the room. Was it wrong of me to assume separate rooms would be fine, like they said, even if it was there first time trying it??? I don't know whether to be apologetic or just throw in the towel, as I do feel like we were open about EVERYTHING on our side. Insight?
  5. Interesting thread. My husband is 25 and I'm 24. We very rarely, if EVER swing with people our own age. I agree with Julie, there does seem to be alot of immaturity with early twenties couples, but then again, we're still that early-mid twenties couple...and we've never, ever had age be an issue for anyone we've met/played with. We've been with couples well into their late 40's...wild, fantastic, long-term experiences with people we still see to this day and the majority don't even think of our age, and most tend to forget until we throw a light-hearted old joke out there:lol: Just goes to show you really can't judge a book by it's cover, or in this case, by it's date of publication. LOL. We will meet couples of any age, and some of the most immature people we've met have been a great deal our senior...so IMHO, age is completely irrelevant in this lifestyle. On our profile we have our preferred age range at 21-50 so they're actually old enough to have cocktail with us and the 50 cap is only because we attract zero interest from the 50's age-group. Judging from past experience (5 years in the lifestyle), late 30's and early 40's seems to be the crowd we connect with the most. We sense that apprehension about our age often when we make plans with people much older than us. We do, however, tend to surprise them.
  6. I grew up and went to school in a very GLBT-friendly area, my best friend in school was a gay guy, and there were plenty of same sex couples at my High School. So while I had a very conservative/strict upbringing, I was still exposed to the idea relatively young. A close girlfriend of mine was quite the party-girl back then, and she talked about her bisexual rendezvous with me all the time, which sparked my interest in exploring women myself. I noticed when she talked about it I would get really hot and start noticing how sexy she was and how intriguing I found that naughty side of her. She came down to visit me after I got married, and one night we all were drinking a bit and being silly. She made a move towards me that night and it ended up being my first sexual experience with a woman...a 3some w/ her and my hubby (I was 19 at the time). After that, I guess you could say I was hooked That experience led us, very quickly, into the lifestyle to further explore our fantasies and desires. My main conclusion about my own bisexuality was in discovering what beautiful beings women are, their skin, their hair, their eyes...their bodies in general are simply made to be touch, teased, and explored!
  7. I've seen quite a few bi/bi couples on my local SLS feed as of late, I think it's becoming more and more common as people continue to liberate themselves from whatever orientation hangups may still exist (be it religion, or what have you). There has been some great progress in the GLBT community too, which probably helps alleviate some of the stigma of same sex play. I'm very bisexual myself, and I'm also VERY turned on by male/male exhibition, but hubby says he's not the least bit bi-curious. He's a very open-minded man, yet even if he was curious about men, I don't think his ego would allow him to let go enough to "take the plunge"! Lucky lucky ladies getting to see your man be pleasured by another! Maybe I could experience it vicariously, lol
  8. Husband and I married young and were open-minded from the start. Began with fmf threesome and flourished from there. Have been in the lifestyle (with short periods of little or no activity) for 5 years. I suppose that's "experienced", but I guess the label is always up for debate! Lots of fun, exciting, and memorable times (albeit the occassional weirdo, or those w/ marital issues that needed ironed out before venturing out into the lifestyle...etc). I would say the majority of our experiences, whether long-term or one night encounters, have been positive ones, even if there wasn't continuous or long-term play. We learned a great deal over the years with older, more "experienced" couples. It's been a rewarding adventure for us. We've always really connected with couples our senior (30's and 40's...we are mid-twenties at 24 and 25) as that tends to aid in the intellectual stimulation we need and enjoy, and ignites a good physical chemistry as well. Happy to be here! Very informative and interesting forums you have here!
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