Hello all. It's been a while since I posted last, but I've been around, just reading the forums and gathering some great information that has been tremendously helpful. Now, I find myself looking for some input and I know you guys are a wealth of info. I apologize for the long post.
My wife and I have a good sex life. It's pretty vanilla, but getting more and more adventurous all the time. We've been together for 10 years, but it's only in the last two years that I really began to express the full depth of my needs and desires to her. We then began to discover that, sexually speaking, we're a bit mis-matched. I have a very high sex drive and a deep interest in pushing my boundaries. She likes sex, but doesn't desire it nearly as often as I do and is much more reserved. Fortunately, however, she's very open-minded and we've been able to have a lot of conversations about this.
I started being much more up-front with her about how often I wanted to have sex and about things I would like to try. I told her about my porn collection and daily masturbation habits. And I told her of my interest in the lifestyle. None of this stuff shocked her and she's been embracing some of it. We now frequently watch porn together and have started bringing more toys into our sex. She even agreed to go to a nude lifestyle resort with me so long as I promised that there would be no pressure for her to do anything other than lay out by the pool. By all rights, she's been very accommodating and our sex life has improved significantly.
This past Saturday morning, we were drinking coffee and having a great conversation about the sex we had had the night before. We had tried something new, but there also had been a couple of things that I wanted to try that she was not interested in. Regarding this, she said she thinks it would be good if I could go out and do those things with other girls. She explained that she knows I love her and that sex and love are different things and that I am always honest with her. She said she knows I have a much higher sex drive than she does and that if I could go out and get some of my needs met by others, that it would take a lot of pressure off of her to be something that she's not. "There are just some things that I'm not really into," she said. "So if you can go do them with other people, then you can get what you want and I don't have to do something I don't want to do." There was no doubt in my mind that she was being completely honest and that there was no hesitation in her voice. She wasn't just saying it. When I told her that I wouldn't want to go have "affairs" and that I'd prefer to meet people in the lifestyle. She liked that even better and suggested that she might some day be interested too.
Given that she's so supportive of the idea, I feel like I'd be foolish not to explore my options in the LS. So let me ask you all the following questions:
1) Is it a red flag for couples in the LS to see a married guy playing alone if their wife is aware of the situation and is willing to verify that fact?
2) What is the best way to represent myself in an SLS profile? Obviously, my profile is single, but should I state the fact that I'm actually married in my profile or wait to tell people that until after contact is made?
3) As a married man playing alone, with no experience in the LS, am I just too bad bet for most people? Do I even stand a chance given the insane number of single men out there? Can the fact that I'm married actually be considered a good thing for some people?
Any advice would be much appreciated! If you happen to look my my SLS profile, I already know that I need a photo, but any other input is very welcome. Thanks so much!!