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allaboutthemrs

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allaboutthemrs last won the day on February 21 2013

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About allaboutthemrs

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    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 03/10/1969

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Texas

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  • SLS Name
    allaboutthemrs
  • Kasidie Username
    allaboutthemrs

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  1. Our life has been someone in-reverse of yours in that we married young, had a family, and then discovered the Lifestyle later, but I think I have a little insight worth offering. Having been married and monogamous, raised kids, done all of the most vanilla, normal life things that we do just like our parents did, I can tell you that I believe there are many things your are worried about that will take care of themselves if.....and I mean a BIG if.....there is love involved. This doesn't mean love replaces sex (it actually enhances it for us with both vanilla sex and LS sex) but it strangely changes the direction of thought day to day. Rather than being focused on "will he/she accept me, can we get along, I need more sex than he gives me, etc." you'll be more focussed without even trying on the betterment of the relationship and the family. And, there's one other simplifying term that I'll throw out there that has been a relevant part of ours and many other couple's lives: "nesting." It's a real thing. When kids and the strength of the family become a priority you may still want extra lovers but they won't be the key focus of most days. We often talk about whether or not we could have handled the LS in our 20's and early 30's and we both totally agree that it wasn't an option for us back then because we were nesting. We did our time as little league coaches, school volunteers etc and deeply love our kids and each other and wouldn't trade all the days of chasing kids for anything, but wouldn't want to go back at this point in our lives and do it where we are right now. Not that we wouldn't live the same life all over again, just been there done that and now enjoying being naughty together. Hope this helps. I wish you the happiness that I/we have.
  2. We've been numerous times and in fact it was our first journey from "super-vanilla" to nudism, LS or any term in between. All in all it is a great place. If you need luxury, lots of restaurants, open bar, etc then it's not for you but if you need a clean, comfortable place to expand your horizons or if you're experienced and want to a good place to meet play-partners then I'd say go and enjoy. If you don't like seeing others have sex then it's not for you because the likelihood of public sex is high. Also the crowd is usually above-average in looks, and the ages are all over the board with median age when we've visited being 45 but there's plenty of people in all age groups. It's small and that's some people's complaint but for the most part we've never found this to be a big issue as it creates a little more social experience as you're not really able to hide from the crowd but you can still get privacy if you need it. The staff is usually all-female and experienced and help to make you feel comfortable. Drawbacks would include the size, lack of other local attractions (there's a few things to do but not a lot) and the cancellation policy is a pain. We've lost money canceling late before. Bottom line: we like it and will return as often as possible.
  3. This post makes me think of an old cowboy we know that when discussing his single status would always say in his Texas drawl:"I wouldn't have anything to do with ANYONE who'd have anything to do with me."
  4. Hey guys!

     

    We are in the Lubbock area and noticed your posts. Just wanted to drop a line and say "hi!"

     

    Are you guys on SDC or SLS or another site? If so let us know your user name. Ours is the same on all the sites as on here: allaboutthemrs.

     

    Take care,

     

    Steve and Cindy

  5. It would be key for us to know who was coming and a little about them just to make sure we're compatible in the Lifestyle sense. Everyone has different desires and limits and if it appeared we weren't compatible with the folks coming why not steer our valuable free time towards a party where we do match up better. For instance the single-guys just aren't our thing and if a party is heavy on the single guys we would just opt to not go. Same reason Desire and Desire Pearl are a better fit for us than Hedo. Bottom line: I figure it's less rude to ask in advance and not show up than to show up and leave quickly.
  6. I don't know if we are so unique in this but hall passes have only come into discussion in regard to the Mrs. g/g opportunities. We aren't strictly a g/g couple but the Mrs. interest in being with a girl one-on-one was one of the reasons we got into the lifestyle. Her comments to me are in the range of "I get beef regular and have it right there so when I get an opportunity for seafood (no pun intended) I would like to be free to take it."
  7. Husband here, my two cents: If you're experienced low-drama Lifestylers with very few limits I'd recommend a takeover. Our experience with takeovers are that it seems most couples that attend are more experienced in the lifestyle and are more likely full-swap. This isn't a hard and fast rule but after attending more than one takeover I feel pretty confident in my assessment. If you're newbies then I'd still recommend either of the Desires but probably lean more towards Desire Pearl and avoid a takeover. When we were new to the LS we went to a takeover and it seemed once folks realized we weren't yet full-swap they moved right on to someone more experienced (we totally understood). We stayed over after the takeover crowd left and had much more fun and found more couples with things in common and met more newbies and made lots more friends. Good luck!
  8. Ok I'll try to answer this as honestly as I can. We were only in Cap d' Adge for 24 hrs but I think if my memory serves correctly: 1.) Have not stayed there so no info. 2.) Good weather. The Mediterranean is great that time of year. 3.) It will be packed. Lot's of Swingers.......also lots of nudists including families but that's not an issue in the clubs. Just be prepared for entire families with kids of all ages to be nude in most areas like the stores (yes the stores), beach, etc. 4.) Great place to explore. Lot's of clubs and other venues to meet like-minded folks. 5.) There's not much there besides the nudism/sex. It's one of the least beautiful places (as far as the terrain) in the Mediterranean but it's probably not far up or down the coast from other nice places so I guess I'm not sure what to tell you. We weren't there long enough to find out if there was other attractions locally. The nudity/sex is really the only thing I've heard of people going there for. I will say we walked by more clubs (a lot of them open only at night) than we could have attended in a week so you may find plenty to do in 2 weeks. I am glad we went and wish we'd had more time there. Enjoy!
  9. I consider myself a fairly intelligent guy but have re-read posts I've had on here and other sites and cringed after seeing I rushed through them and clicked "Post" before scrutinizing them thoroughly. I've also found small errors in our profiles a year after I created/edited it and often my own mistakes are my pet peeves such as using "to much" where it should be "too much" or "your" where it should be "you're." Just plain carelessness usually. That said the most annoying profiles/posts are people who use text talk while on a regular keyboard ....we click right off of them. However if I can tell someone is not a native English speaker I/we are non-judgmental. I can only imagine the poor soul trying to read my Spanish if I tried to set up a profile in Spanish. Now I'll go back and read this after I post this and probably cringe...
  10. Just returned from Desire Pearl and have nothing but wonderful things to share. Facilities are very nice, food was good and the staff was extremely attentive and helpful. We will definitely return. I'll try to get around to a full review when I get a chance. One thing to note is the slightly different vibe from Hedo and we contribute this to it being a couples-only resort. Although we enjoyed Hedo for us Desire's more our style as we prefer to interact with couples when seeking a lifestyle setting.
  11. I know we are talking specifically about physical encounters but we deal with this issue and the hurt feelings associated much more often with vanilla friends than LS friends. Seems like our long term friends feel slighted every time we meet new friends and spend any amount of time hanging out, etc. with anyone but them. That said, we always end up hanging out again with our long term friends within a few days simply because we have so much in common and so much history. Now to compound this issue is when our LS friends call we will nearly always choose them over even our closest vanilla friends and especially during the "getting to know each other" stage of a new friendship. Even if the LS friends aren't a physical connection we often prefer them because of the freedom we feel to say and do whatever comes to mind without worry about shocking, offending, etc. There is no way the vanillas can compete but we still love them.
  12. Of course not! In twenty years of marriage I never discussed details of my sex life with them so why start now and why discuss this detail? Furthermore I never discuss my sex-life with our vanilla friends outside of generalities so once again, why discuss this part of it? Our kids are no different, they know their mother and I have a healthy sex life but we would never discuss intimate details regarding said sex life because they are our children and I consider this an intimate detail. That said most of my family including my brothers,cousins, nephews, and also our vanilla friends know they could come to me with any problems and I'd have an open mind and lend them my ear but not a single one of them knows details such as what positions, toys, etc. my wife and I enjoy and so they are damn sure not gonna know with WHOM we enjoy certian postions, toys, etc. with! Also, I feel I owe it to both our vanilla and LS friends to protect them from assumptions from family and others as to whether they are in the LS. I feel by keeping our sex life private I protect us and those that we love both vanilla and LS.
  13. And even if this is true, the problem is?....................
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