Thanks for the replies. I appreciate your responses and hope to hear from more. Maybe I don't have any fantasies, just wishes, therefore don't understand the idea of a fantasy?????
The question is- I am trying to identify if my wife truly only likes the idea of a MFM or if that is the answer she has decided on due to some of her worries.
I should note that we have considered for many years having a MFM. I am a typical male and an engineer on top of that so when I see a problem I solve it. When she is concerned about going to a swing club since they will have our names, I suggest a meet and greet. When she is afraid someone not with the group may see us I suggest finding someone on Swing Lifestyle. When she worries about finding someone on the internet being a serial killer I suggest going to a normal club, yet not in our neighborhood where some single guys are more likely to frequent. I could go on. Let me note the thoughts of going to a club, meet and greet, etc were things she wanted to do at first, not just things I suggested.
I know some replies will be that we need to communicate more- we have for several years. I know some replies will say she needs to be ready- just the other day we had the door to the garage open to allow some fresh air in the house and she started to get frisky. My wife was very excited at the thought that someone may walk in the open door and find us and join in. Several times she mentioned she wished I would have set something up- not just the other day but on many occasions. When not in the heat of the moment she says she likes the idea, but doesn’t really want to do it.
I interpret her actions as she does want to do it, but worries about the process. She denies this- I think because she knows the engineer in me will find a solution to her worries. Maybe I am wrong and she really only does want to fantasize about it.
I don’t want to give a lot of details on a general post, but I would love to hear from some of you that may have had some similar concerns when starting up. I am not looking for ways to convince her to proceed, I am looking to try and understand if a fantasy is only a fantasy. I can give more examples/details to allow you more insight, but again, not in a general forum.
All I know is that after working in the yard on a hot day and thinking about how good a nice cold beer would be, when I get done I enjoy a nice cold beer- not just the thought.