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okcurious

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About okcurious

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 03/27/1968

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  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    Oklahoma City

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  1. It's kind of a moot point with me. See, I had prostate cancer last year (at 44, which is really young), so now, my orgasms are dry. I do kind of miss the feeling of sperm squirting out of me, but my wife loves the dry orgasms. And I do have to admit, my orgasms seem more intense now. But it did discover a drawback this weekend. We were with some friends of ours, and I had given myself an injection (which lasts for hours), AND I had drank a bit too much wine. Long story short, we had a session that lasted a couple of hours, and when I woke up yesterday, I am RAW. Guess I shouldn't combine the injections and alcohol.
  2. No, you're not wrong. Everyone has their own personal boundaries, and those should be respected. When we first started, we had all kinds of rules such as no separate rooms and even no kissing. Most of those went out the window the first time we swapped, but the one rule we still stick to is no solo play. We can be in separate rooms, actually we usually prefer that, but we BOTH participate. No dates, etc. Personally, I LOVE the cuddling afterwards. To me, is as much of an extension of play as kissing. But, the bottom line is that in the lifestyle you only do what you both want. If you're not comfortable with it, then you both don't do it.
  3. I do see what you're saying, but I have to admit, I kind of like having a secret life that I share only with my wife. To anyone looking in from the outside, we are just a normal couple deeply in love, but I have to smile sometimes when I think of what they don't know.
  4. Be careful saying that! Lol! We've been on "a break" since I found out I had prostate cancer this spring. I had surgery on June 28, and we've both said many times that we don't miss it, etc. However, things are starting to work again (ED, leaking, etc.) I'm still not all the way there, but I'm starting to really miss the LS. It's not exactly the sex. It's the feeling of being desirable, being wanted. Yes, my wife wants me, but we've been married 22 years and have a great marriage, so that's kind of a give. It's knowing that someone else finds you desirable that makes you feel so good. So I've been spending a LOT more time on c4p.com. My wife's laughing at me because she was always the one who was on it before. Anyway, I have no doubt that once things are working again, we'll jump back in. We're already planning on going to The Club in OKC for New Years. We won't be playing, but it's still a lot of fun.
  5. I like them all as long as they're clean. I'm big on variety. Wifey's never had an uncut, but she says she prefers cut. She accidentally saw her dad naked one time, and he was uncut, so she says it would remind her too much of that terrible experience.
  6. It's weird for me. I usually cum through intercourse, but my wife is SO good at giving blowjobs, that sometimes I prefer to cum that way. For some reason, when we're with another couple, I sometimes have a hard time cumming. I don't know why, maybe pressure or whatever. I seldom have a hard time getting hard, just actually cumming. Maybe it's some medication I'm on (blood pressure, etc). I don't know what it is, and yes, it bugs the hell out of me - which of course makes it worse. I find the more relaxed I am with the couple we are with, the easier it is. Maybe it's just because we're new enough to this that I can't completely relax. We did have one separate room swap, and I was able to cum much more easily, so maybe I'm spending too much time watching my wife when we're in a same-room situation. But to answer the question, it just depends. I've yet to cum orally when we're swapping. And with a condom, forget it. I just don't get enough sensation through the condom to cum.
  7. It's been a while since I posted, and boy have things changed. I took everyone's advice and just dropped the subject, then a few days later we were sitting around on a Friday evening and she, out of nowhere, said she wanted to go to this bar nearby that's swinger friendly. She knew this ahead of time (the swinger friendly part). We went, danced, had a great time and ended up going home with this couple. She went wild, even tried the other woman which is something she said she would NEVER do. Since then, she wants to go out every weekend, even sometimes during the week. To be honest, the hard part is keeping up with her. We've been to a couple of clubs and had a great time. We've been with a few other couples, but mainly with this couple we met a few weeks ago. She's also discovered her 'inner-bi'. Actually, she now says she's always been curious but would have never admitted it. I guess I'm still seriously confused, but in a good way. We talked about our rules before we went out that first time, but most of those flew out the window on that first night. We still have a couple like no swinging alone and no taking one for the team, but a lot of what we had said we wouldn't do, like kissing, just seem a little silly and pointless now. (not to say anyone who has those rules is silly, just for us)
  8. Thank you for all of the very helpful replies. When she got home last night, we sat down and talked about it, and your advice really helped. She's still 'interested', but just not ready to make that leap. I asked her if she wanted me to just totally drop the idea, and she said no. She just wants to give the idea some time and thought which is perfectly understandable. There isn't and never was any way I would let this issue ruin my marriage. My marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me and is more important to me than anything in this world. Thanks for all the great advice!
  9. Maria, you're right. I never meant to spring it on her, and hearing it put that way, I guess I did just that that. We had talked about it before, and I guess when she said that, I just naturally (being a typical guy) jumped on it. Knowing her, she probably does have the exact thoughts you mentioned. That's why I tried to make very clear to her that all we had to do (well, not HAD, always her choice) was go & watch, discover the lifestyle.
  10. Sheesh! Reading back through this, it sounds like I'm being really selfish. I'm really not. My fantasy is the same as hers: a MFM with her being pleased in every way. Anything else that may happen, is just a bonus.
  11. BTW, to all those at The Green Door in Tulsa, I really wanted to come to your newbie night, but alas, it wasn't to be. Maybe in the future, it will be.
  12. I'm seriously getting confused by my wife. I brought up the idea of swinging to my wife months ago. At that time, she was sort of interested, but didn't seem to be overly serious. Her big fantasy (and mine) is a MFM with her doing DP. She ALWAYS says what a huge turn on that would be. Anyway, at the time, she entertained the idea, but I could tell she wasn't close to doing it, so I dropped the subject. Fast forward to a few days ago. We were watching a bit of porn while we made love. As usual, it was a MFM. She talked about how this is such a fantasy of hers and she really would love to try it sometime. The next night (2 nights ago), she told me she would really like to attend a club party, on premise, and watch others make love. And of course, make love in front of others, just us. That REALLY turned me on. The next day, to make sure it wasn't the heat of the moment, I asked her about it again, and she said she was serious. Being a typical male, I went on the internet, looked up clubs in our state (not that many on-premise, buckle of the bible-belt and all), and found a party for newbies that was happening tonight. I told her about it last night and said 'let's go'. At that point, she totally shut down, didn't even want to talk about it. If I say anything about it, to her I'm being obsessive about it. WTH? I've done everything I know to do to let her know that all we have to do is go, have drinks, and watch people if that's all she wants. What does she do? She makes last minute plans to go to a concert with her sorority sisters tonight leaving me at home alone. So I go from hoping to share a new experience with her to being at home alone on a Friday night. Maybe I'm being selfish, but it feels a bit like shit right now. This is way longer than I intended, and I guess I don't really have a question, just a rant. Actually, I do, but I suppose I already know the answer. Should I cling to hope that she is entertaining the idea and working up her courage to try? Or should I be cynical and believe she is only entertaining the idea to keep me aroused and drop the whole thing? The thing is, I'm not sure I can drop the whole thing. We've been married 20 years, and I've been MORE than understanding through all the times she was too tired because of the kids, too uncomfortable because of her body image, etc. Our sex life hasn't been all that great these last 20 years (about a 2 out of 10) until she hit 40, now all of a sudden, she "says" she's horny all the time, and it isn't like I just want to get laid. I want HER to get laid! I'm not sure what to believe any more. We have a REALLY strong marriage, but I'm starting to think that my desires aren't in line with hers. Maybe I'm making too much out of this. I don't know. I have no problem admitting I'm wrong if I'm wrong, I just don't know. I WANT to believe that what she told me about her fantasy and really wanting to try it is true, but God, I just don't know anymore. You would think that after 20 years, I would be able to read her like a book, but I guess I'm just not smart enough to do that. I'm sorry this is so long. Not sure if there is a question in there or not, just more or less a request for your thoughts. I'm trying my hardest to be patient and understanding, but part of me feels like she's playing on my emotions and intentionally taking me on a roller-coaster ride.
  13. Okay, I have to admit that so far my wife and I haven't tried the LS. We are curious about it, but so far it's still relegated to fantasy. Having said that, I really don't have any problem with the idea of going down on a guy in the heat of the moment. It's weird, but things I would never consider under normal circumstances suddenly become a turn on in the heat of the moment, so I can definitely picture it happening. There isn't much I wouldn't be willing to try when I get turned on.
  14. No, no pics right now. I just put it up, and then my wife kinda hinted around that she's not sure she could actually go through with anything (after spending 6 days talking about how hot she got thinking about doing the one thing that is my ultimate fantasy). I'm a little confused right now, but do NOT want to push or rush her in any way.
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