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transplantsxm

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About transplantsxm

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    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/12/1959

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Caribbean

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  1. And actually bought Kindle for me and paperback for her so we can co-read . . . . she isn't into Kindle so much. Thanks again!
  2. Thanks so much, well it was very appealing to me and I think it ended up being TOO appealing to her . . . . . I wasn't probably forceful enough with the second guy when he kind of excluded me, cause she was enjoying it so. Good advice. Thanks even more for the link to Amazon, your book is on the way to the Caribbean for both of us to read and decide where we want to go. I think it will be helpful.
  3. Different society on the island (age of consent just got raised from 12 to 15) so we have always been very protective of the daughter. We have made our house the home base for her and her friends to try and keep them safe (and virgins until they are old enough to make their own choices). In this environment, sending your daughter to some other houses is akin to sending the chickens straight to the foxes. We have a large Jamacian population where the fathers think they should "break in their daughters". A Dutch island which thinks sex at any age is appropriate, etc. My only reason for saying this is the environment is different here. Boy gangs in the only movie theater and I could go on and on. So appreciate your comments and yes, I think another guy for the wife is a bad idea for a very, very long time. I handled it fine, she didn't. What a surprise. We didn't start out with MFM in order to get to FMF or MFMF. In fact the 2nd guy that caused all the problems asked her about bringing a girl he knew for me and it was "No fucking way, I would never allow that", which surprised him and he said he found weird. That said, I don't really want another woman, had many in the past before my wife and done all the scenes including swing clubs. This wasn't trying to get a new gal for me, just more cock for her!
  4. Thanks, I appreciate that. Really. Just wanted to clarify because this board has been so damned helpful in the case, it really has.
  5. We never did quit fucking. Usually we always fucked 3 to 5 times a week, but only in the middle of the night, both of us exhausted and it was fucking, not love making and probably not that good for her (wasn't for me either, but the guy always gets off). I mean when you wake your wife up at 2 or 3 am for sex, at least in our case, she just wants it over and to get back to bed, understandable. But just wanted to make the point that we didn't cease having sex or add a guy cause we weren't having sex, just not good sex in my opinion for either of us because of the situation and not being able to be alone.
  6. Appreciate the comments, Western Swing and funcoupledayton are probably both right. We both have agreed to try and work it through, but this messed with her head a lot. We can get our sex act together I think (used to be great) but when? I talked to her about this last night. First we have a 17 year old at home and due to the lifestyle on the island (we live part time in the states and part time on a caribbean island, have two homes) where the teenager is basically always home there can basically be no uninhibited sex except rarely at home. The kid goes to bed about 11:00 or 12:00 which is way too late for me to handle, we have a fulltime maid from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, wife is not a morning person at all, so it becomes difficult. I think she is comparing her "fun" with the guy that could last uninterrupted for hours upon hours, no worries about loudness, or nudity around the house (kid was at volleyball camp for 3.5 days) to our sex life in the context of working, kid around constantly in the evenings, maid first thing every morning, etc. We used to have time when the daughter (stepdaughter) went to visit her bio father for the weekend once or twice a month, but that stopped about a year ago. So I told the wife last night, we have two complete nice homes and I feel like I need to go rent yet another place just so we can have time alone. Yes I have thought of hotels once in a while, but the sex by appointment only, expense of the nice hotel (hotels on the island are about $300 a day), etc. just rubs me wrong. So funcoupledayton, I really believe there is nothing wrong in our marriage but the sex. We get along great (prior to this of course) both wanted to spend all of our free time together, she thinks I am a super provider and stepfather and we generally just always had fun together and wanted to be together. On the sex front, the new guy didn't do anything we didn't have in the past, other than being new of course, younger, and in an atmoshpere free of time restraints, responsibility, limitations, etc. So for instance last night, I was trying hard and took her into our bedroom (daughter was next door at the neighbors) and started some tender loving foreplay, she was actually getting into it, the second she started to peel off the panties guess what, yep the kid is knocking on the front door to be let in. No ones fault, but the wife was up and dressed in like two seconds and I am laying there going "what the fuck". She came back later for a basically a "mercy fuck" to take care of me, but no quality time, no chance for me to get her off, etc. If she is comparing her short round with the new guy to what options we have in our married situaiton, it isn't a level playing field at all. When I mentioned maybe not having a full time maid, well she doesn't like that idea of course, what woman would? I don't have to work during the day everyday, make my own hours as the owner of multiple businesses, but can't say I want to make our sex life confined to the back of an SUV in a parking lot somewhere . . . . LOL . . . . . Keep in mind that if the sex is satisfying for the wife she is VERY loud so naturally, she doesn't really want it if the daughter is in the house. The daughter has sensed the tension and after all is old enought to have some understanding and her mother intimated to her somewhat about "sex issues" (no detail of course) and she says "If you guys need to bang more, then bang more". But in reality the wife is not going to let loose with the daughter being anywhere close. Any ideas, how do all you married people with kids at home, inability to be together during the day, etc. handle it? I really want to know.
  7. Thanks again to everyone. I know what you are saying Zay, but she is also a hot woman that needs more sex, she tells me constantly. I am 11 years older, a lot of stress from businesses, having two homes to keep up (one in the US and one in the Caribbean) so I thought this was the time to make this better for her and keep her happy. Guess I was wrong or at least this was the totally wrong guy. The thing is, the sex between her and another is no probem for me at all, I just don't want attachment. I have a lot to get in order too personally! I am overweight (not horribly, but some (a fair amount since meeting her) for sure) and stressed out from meeting our $20K plus a month in expenses. I so appreciate a "rooting for a happy ending to this" and actually I think that possible cause I think she is still a GREAT woman, even though things are strained between us now and I feel weird around her in many ways. I so appreciate all your comments, they are from the heart and it is wonderful!!
  8. So as the Original Poster . . . . thanks so much for all your comments!! I still love my wife and she is my best buddy. I don't want our relationship to end, but this has introduced a lot of questions. I also don't want our entrance into the lifestyle to end, but I don't know if she and I are on the same page in that regard as far as the boundaries when it comes to extra cock. IMOA, she approached it like dating, not an extra cock, the guy fell for her (understandable, she is exotic and I did too), but hell, we have years together and our relationship should COME FIRST!! It didn't and guess that tells something, I don't know what yet, but something. She is trying hard now but my feelings are really hurting. I thought we were ONE, and when it separated to her versus me for him it sucked. My hopes are that we can get this together and she can separate our life together versus an extra stud and make this work in the future. I want her to have the extra stud, but NEVER to defend him or his feelings above mine . . . . . . . . she likes a lot of sex, and hey, that is fine, like I said in my original post, not jealous of the pussy, but am totally of our relationship. More comments are welcome and again, thanks so much, this has helped me "process" all this anonymously . . . . . . this board is great!
  9. Thanks for all the replies . . . . I think majority rules or actually it seems unanimous. We are now at our second home a couple thousand miles away from the dude, but things are still different. Right before we left up there, the wife said she at least still wanted to stay in touch and be friends, not okay with me. I love my wife so much and don't want to stop the quest, but want nothing to do with this guy. Her mind is probably in a different place on this. I understand a little, but think him being a douche bag should far exceed anything else. After all, our marriage should come first before anyone or anything. If something makes either of us unhappy, it is time to stop. Agree?
  10. So we had one guy that joined us for one afternoon, but although he said he was available a lot, we found out his commitments to his wife (unknown to us) prevented him getting together much. The one encounter with him went well, but we were looking for a FWB that could be fairly frequent. So the next weekend we went with guy #2. Chatted online and ended up meeting him at a bar, all was fine so we took him back to our house and he did a great job of pleasing the wife, was nice, kind of the very quiet type though which made things a little different, not bad, but different. Just saying the conversation didn’t flow like with the first guy that was a salesman by trade. We invited the guy back the next Friday and basically said he could be with us as much as he wanted through Monday. Friday afternoon went great with him having sex with the wife on and off the whole afternoon and evening till midnight and me in between and he gave her a couple of orgasms (which is the whole idea). We invited him to stay the night in our guest room, which he did, and the next morning right after I got up he went into our bed and gave the wife a great morning round of hard sex. He left mid-morning and we set up to have dinner at a really nice steakhouse together that evening (trying to get the “Friends” part going as well as the “Benefits” part.) We met for dinner and things got a little weird for me the hubby right away. Although we had explained that when we are out together, she is my wife a he is just a vanilla friend, the inappropriate conversation at dinner was opposite of that including him making a couple of references to him fucking her better than me (I thought wrong discussion at the wrong time in a very nice crowded restaurant). Later at a bar he was all over her and made me feel real uncomfortable. He came out and fucked until about 4:00 am and spent the night again, overall fine with me except he barely talked to me at all and made it feel uncomfortable for me to join in. He left the next day mid-day (more fucking of course) and we were to email each other on plans for the following day. I had told the wife about some of my concerns and she was fine with me voicing them to him. I wrote a nice email, but did bring up in a really nice way about how he was supposed to be acting when we are out in public places together and some light rules on continuing down the FWB road and more inclusion of me. I got back this email basically telling me a barrage of stuff from him in a very pompous way including statements that included: I'm good at sex and gave her an orgasm. As long as I gave her an orgasm (and allowed Oxytocin to be released) she was going to be attached to me. So surely she is going to continue to fuck me. I understand your point but, with deference, I disagree. Its over. She is mine now. Going forward she's going to want to be fucked like I fucked her. Your best bet would be for [wife] and I to continue to have sex. I am going to want a personal relationship with [wife]. It is going to happen. I will take her out at times and we'll have fun and fuck. You won't be with us at all times. That's the nature of the beast. Let's face it, you can no longer give her an orgasm at a whims notice. We can't all have what we want. Let her be happy. So after sharing the email with my wife that contained all this stuff, I was sure she would be offended if nothing else on my behalf for him acting so pompous. Instead she was defensive of him which, of course, really made me weird and upset. We didn’t meet him again, but I got the constant feeling that things were strained between my wife and I because of it and that she wanted to. As the two weeks that followed went on, we had some discussions about it and she basically says what he thinks or says doesn’t matter, she just likes the sex. So we have a disconnect for sure. We talked some about trying to find a true FWB instead of some guy that excludes me and would say such things bluntly back claiming his territory, but she says she has spread for two guys so far and is not going to keep fucking guys to find one that is right in all ways. Generally I found it very exciting and no jealous issues about the sex at all. The problem started when the guy developed an attitude and started claiming rights. Any advice on how to go from here? Do we approach this some different way or just give up on it?
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