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ArianaAR

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  • Content Count

    7
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About ArianaAR

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/14/1982

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Female half
  • Location
    USA
  1. First off, I just want to say that I appreciate the many responses I've received about this topic. Whether I agree with all of the comments or not doesn't really matter. It's nice to see the situation from different perspectives because I know mine isn't always right or the only one that works. I think the biggest thing I feel is that swinging should be about us, together, as a couple. While I get that I'm asking him to sacrifice in that I need him to hold back right now because I'm not comfortable, I'm also giving a lot in return. When he first brought up swinging to me, I was upset and hurt. I didn't understand anything about swinging. I took it personally. However, eventually I was able to open my mind and start understanding what swinging is really about, and now that I've actually participated in swinging with him twice, I think I deserve a little credit. So, I'm not a swinging expert yet...how can anyone expect me to be 100% comfortable after ONLY two experiences? Obviously, it's been a progression, and with time it may progress to the ultimate level that my boyfriend wants. I just need time, which I don't think is selfish of me to ask for. I get this idea of it being a gift to want your partner to be so happy that you are willing to give the gift of freedom to express sexuality... The truth is, though, that I have already given him a gift. I have changed the way I think and opened myself up to this experience because of and for him. I don't resent it, but I would resent giving him an even bigger gift of complete sexual freedom if it meant completely sacrificing myself in the process. Swinging should be about our happiness together with others, not me acting as a martyr so my boyfriend can have a field day to do as he pleases. After all, true swingers don't swing because they are dissatisfied in their relationship. I know that I fully satisfy my boyfriend... isn't that a gift in itself...a happy, healthy, loving relationship? Swinging is something extra, not something that should ever have more power than our actual relationship.
  2. I just want to thank everyone so far for all of the comments and advice. As a new swinger, I definitely appreciate any and all support. You all have definitely left me with a lot to think about and discuss with my boyfriend. In response to N8ture Girl, he was into swinging before me. He actually had another relationship before me in which swinging was a part. To this point, I have trusted him to know and share what he knows from his own experiences. From this site, though, I've realized the importance of doing my own research.
  3. What frustrates me is that my boyfriend acts like nobody is interested in soft couples. He thinks that I'll never be up for it, and that if that's the case, there's no point in doing anything on any level. I just want him to be patient and let me figure things out. I think the other couple we met is more understanding and relaxed about how I feel than he is.
  4. To start off, let me say that I am new to swinging. My boyfriend brought it up, and after being reluctant at first, eventually I decided I was interested in seeing what it is all about. So far, we have had 2 experiences playing with 2 different couples. Both couples have been great, and I've enjoyed what has happened between us. However, I'm still figuring out what I'm comfortable with and really have a need to ease into everything. As a result, we have only done soft swap. My boyfriend is a little frustrated as he is hoping for full swap. I got a little upset during our second encounter because I had to actually physically stop him from penetrating the other female. He is fully aware that I'm not ready for full swap, but he claims that in the moment, he is just like an animal and can't control it. Is it fair that I have to watch him like a hawk so that he won't cross the boundaries we've discussed? Shouldn't he respect me enough to control himself until I am more comfortable?
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