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mwp

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About mwp

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  • Birthday 01/19/1968

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    couple
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    USA
  1. The idea is invite four. If all four show up, and my wife wants to play with all four, then off to a play site with all four and the two of us. Yes, all men invited would understand that this is about swinging, and all four would know that other men were being invited as well. No, the waiter previously mentioned has never been approached by us regarding swinging, and won't be.
  2. My wife and I have had some decent success with single males. She enjoys MFM's as do I. Now, our swinging activities are often fairly limited because of the lack of opportunity for both of us to be out together for an evening of some swinging fun. As a result, we always want to maximize our swinging opportunities. My wife suggested the idea of inviting several single males at once to meet over dinner, with play a possibility later. Let's say there's four. Let them all know upfront that there will be other single males arriving as well, and larger group play is a possibility. This wouldn't be a specific intent to have a MMFMM scenario, but just to maximize the opportunity to swing. My wife and I are still discussing this. One problem I see is let's say she likes three of the four we invite; how do you tell #4 'no' without creating a drama scene? I also think it's much more likely a single male will show up if he knows he's the only one showing up as opposed to one of four. Maybe if you invite four, you have a higher chance of getting zero. Just throwing this out there for some thoughts and feedback.
  3. Fast forward a year; we've been back to the restaurant a couple of times, and he still works there. We had already decided not to attempt to play with him, but we found out anyways that he has a girlfriend. Also, he's leaving the job at the restaurant, getting (as he put it) "a real job". Lastly, his new job is in a field locally where he will very likely be in contact with some in-laws of ours (who don't know about our swinging). -MWP
  4. I don't post here much. Sorry for not updating things as we've gone along. Relative to this thread, my wife and I are probably going to try her playing solo again (and VERY likely with Dave). We've had a number of discussions about it recently. Neither of us felt the first time was as good as it could have been. But we ascribed a lot of that to first time jitters. I certainly had a lot of them. When not confronted with the situation right up front (her being gone to play solo), I very much want her to have a man on the side (if that is what she wants, and she does). I absolutely do not view myself as a cuckold, and neither does she. We're just working to have a situation where she is happy as a clam in mud in terms of her swing/sex life. I know, and have expressed, that with additional times that she plays solo, I'll feel increasingly more comfortable. In many ways it's no different than her going out with friend(s) of hers for whatever. It's time not spent with me that makes her happy. Yes, while off not spending time with me in this case she's having sex with someone else. But, she still comes home to me, loves me, wants me, needs me, and has no interest in replacing me. So from a logical perspective, nothing to fear. I can easily wrap my head around that. Overtime, with her playing solo more often, I do think I'll be more comfortable with it (and she as well). If not, we'll re-evaluate. If she does play solo again and people are interested, I can update this thread again. Not begging for attention here just not much point in posting a blow by blow if there's no interest.
  5. Thanks for the compliments (and to Rackir too!). Yes, the USN has a damage control school (or at least did) at the Norfolk Naval Base. There's lots of simulators around the navy. This one had a nearly pool sized "ship" in an olympic size swimming pool as one of the simulators. Your group's job was to get onboard, familiarize yourself with the "ship", where damage control lockers were, materials, etc. Once that was done, you're back up on deck to begin the exercise. They then begin to intentionally sink the ship. Your group's job is to stop it from reaching the bottom of the pool. I found video on the net from a similar simulator, but it doesn't show what I experience. In the simulations I went through, only emergency lighting was available. It's more realistic, and certainly adds to the environmental complexity. The U.S. military (and many advanced militaries around the world) routinely train in scenarios as close to the real thing as possible without getting people hurt in the process. The closer to the the real thing the training is, the more likely you are to be successful when it's not a drill. Additude noted the fire he went through as part of his training. I did something similar a number of times. It's not easy, and you have to trust the people you are working with. Yes, it's a controlled burn, but it's not enough to know that in the back of your head there's someone to bail you out because it's a simulation. When you're faced with fire, your brain doesn't tend to think of such things. Instead, it thinks "CRAP! FIRE! RUN!" and then "Wait a minute, we're going IN there? YOU'RE NUTS!" They do the simulators because when you're at sea on a ship, you can't call 911. You ARE 911. If you don't save the ship and your shipmates, no one will. I've wondered before if the people who run the simulators are volunteers who checked the box marked "I'm a sadistic bastard who likes seeing people suffer". The tear gas one especially was a real pain in the everywhere. -MWP
  6. We were asked by another contributor here to post an update on how the solo date went. So, here we are The date went well. Not perfect, but it went well. The main negative was we both felt like it was an apart thing, rather than a together thing, and it felt less than perfect because of that. First time jitters definitely played a part, and we're thinking that in the future we'll try again and see how it goes. With the first time jitters out of the way, it will probably go better. Now, in more detail. Around the time of the date, I wrote a semi-stream of conscious sort of self-writing. In condensed form with some editing, that is what follows. Sorry it's so long. It's actually a LOT longer, and I've trimmed a lot out to improve readability. #### Today is the day after the solo date. My mind keeps going through different phases over this, and I frankly don't understand what is going on inside my head and heart. I'm not at a loss for words to describe where I am at any given moment really. It's just that I keep shifting from one mood or thought pattern to another. Today I realize that there is no way to accurately sum up how I feel. There's just too many thoughts and emotions running around to make sense of all of it. I can't be true to my real feelings because my real feelings are a jumble, a pile of disorganized elements that randomly intersect one another. At any moment, I can throw a few pieces together and think, "Ok this is how I feel" and an hour later I'll feel very different. My wife loves fucking Dave. She really, really enjoyed the first time with him and was increasingly eager to have sex with him again. At times, I think it was driving her crazy with desire. This made me feel very good. I've always wanted swinging to be a very fulfilling experience for her, and it finally had been. It was like, "THIS is what it's supposed to feel like". It was wonderful for her, wonderful for us. The afterglow was tremendous and permeated our sex. I asked her repeatedly, and at different times how comfortable she was in general with having sex with Dave, and I always got a 10 for a response. There was no question in her mind that she wanted to have sex with him again. The anticipation I think became fairly intense. In another discussion, I asked her if I had carte blanche to set up a solo play date with she and Dave, which she agreed to. So, I placed a call to Dave to set up the play date. My hands were shaking, and I had a hard time maintaining an even voice. Here I am, setting up an evening for my wife to go off without me to have sex with another man. Nothing in our lives...nothing...prepares us for this moment. But, I wasn't going to let my wife down, especially when I was happy with the thought of her going and also that I had frequently suggested the possibility of her playing solo. I am my own master and I won't permit myself to fall back from something I know I want to make happen. Dave agreed to the date, I called my wife back to inform her of that, and then I couldn't eat much of my lunch because my stomach was tied in knots. Why is my stomach tied in knots? I want this to happen. What am I fearing? I do not fear her leaving me. I know enough personal info about Dave that if he did rape and kill her, he'd be up on charges within a day. He knows that, so there's a lot less chance he'd risk doing something criminal. So, I don't fear for her safety. What am I fearing? What am I fearing? I couldn't put my finger on it. I still can't. How am I supposed to convey my feelings when I can't articulate them, don't understand them, and am fearing something that doesn't exist? I post to swingersboard, hoping to find some answers. I asked about nervousness and jitters, not about jealousy. I didn't and do not feel jealous. The thread is ultimately viewed by over three hundred people, but only two responses essentially saying the jitters are normal, and not to worry. Everything in the situation I described seems fine. Maybe it's the sort of feeling a first time parachutist gets makes a jump. You know it's going to be exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. For some, they can't let go...they can't make the jump. For others, they do it knowing the extreme danger. I felt extreme danger, but also knew that I was taking excessive counsel of my fears, fears that were largely irrational. I know my wife is not going to leave me. We've discussed swinging at very great length and I think we both understand each other very, very well. I don't lack any trust in any respect of her. I know she's fully committed to me and me alone. Then the freight train comes screaming at me again "..then why does she need to go off and fuck another guy when you're not around?" Go away fear! You're not wanted here! But, I can't logic my way out of feelings. Thursday rolls around, this is the day. This is the day she's going off to fuck her toy. I've been through bootcamp. I've been through nine weeks of structured hell. I've been through tear gas. I've been through fire that would kill you in seconds if you didn't know what you're doing. I've been on a dark ship intentionally being sunk. I can get through a day of internal turmoil and I'll come out alive, with my wife. What the hell am I fearing? WHAT AM I FEARING? I still can't wrap my head around it. I'm still at a loss. I start counting the hours. "In eight hours, she'll be fucking Dave". "In six hours, he'll have his penis in her". "This is it. In four hours, their naked bodies will be intertwined". I'm excited. Excited for her. Nervous for me. I get to the place where she is and where I need to pick up the kids. She's wearing the dress she planned to wear for him. For him. Is this jealousy? Is it? Stupid feeling. Go away! I know it's not jealousy, it's something else. In the car, the kids persist in asking where Mommy is going tonight. They won't back down. They insist on knowing. I of course don't tell them, but I'm frazzled by the inability to shut down the line of discussion. Off to home, time to get the car cleaned out and the car seats in the garage. If she goes somewhere with him, better to have a freshly vacuumed car to do it in. Then it's off to inside, where I put together the jump bag. I make sure she's got everything she needs to have a night full of lots of sex with Dave. "I'm helping my wife have a date with another man, have sex without me there. I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy. Stay the course. Your fears are irrational". I watch the clock like a hawk. My wife's to be home from a meeting at six. She's to come home and we're supposed to have sex before she leaves, I'm to prime her so to speak. The clock races forward. 6:05. 6:10. 6:15. She should be home now. If she doesn't get home now, there won't be time. 6:16. 6:17. 6:20. There's no time now if she does get home. There won't be time to screw around and get her on the road to see Dave to get to him by 7:30. I've tossed dinner in the oven set the timer, and the kids are out back playing. She comes home, and it's a in-the-door, kiss the kids and husband, and out the door sort of operation. I barely get a minute of her time. But at this point, it's ok. She's full of sexual energy and excitement, and I'm eager for her to go, but also wanting her to go so that I don't go into melt down, and so the next step is over so she'll be home, and this is over with. I don't want her thinking about how I'm feeling. I want to be strong, confident, supportive, eager for her to go. I try hard to cast this impression. As she's leaving, she checks in with me about going. I tell her I'd be more upset if she didn't go. The implication isn't caught. I'm upset. I shouldn't have said anything like that. I'm glad she doesn't make the connection, and instead traces it as encouragement to go. Phew. I don't want her to ask about how I am feeling about her going. Had she asked, I would have told her "barely enough above whatever threshold is needed for you to go". Had I said that, she might not have gone. I want her to go, and I don't want her to know how I'm feeling. Have I blown it? The moment passes. She drives off. Ok, ok, that's good. She's on the way. Nothing will stop it now. She'll have sex without me there tonight. Tonight, she's on her own. After a few minutes of waiting to see if the phone will ring from her, I call Dave and leave a voicemail. He calls back in a few minutes, and we chat briefly. I let him know she's on the way, should be there on time, and yes he confirms I had the right room number. We talk about what she wants, to which I reply "what she really most wants is sex with you". We go into a bit more detail, but I neglect to remind him of her love for massage. We hang up. Ok, dinner's ready, get the kids fed and you can get out the door to go shopping or anything other than sit at home so you don't stew in your own juices. Of course, the kids are filthy from playing in the yard, so they have to have a bath, which short circuits leaving the house. Off to bath. My wife calls, she's there outside the hotel. I encourage her, tell her to get her heels on and go get fucked. We hang up. The minutes creep by. Time has run out. She's in there, alone, with him, and will be fucking him at my behest without being concerned about me. It's no great feet of prescience to know when things actually start between them. But, I feel it. I feel the moment within me. I know it's happening. I later confirm this as accurate. The evening wears on, my thoughts and feelings go up and down. At times, I feel pretty good, happy she's getting a good fucking. Happy she's having a good time, and glad she's reached inside of herself to find this element within her, to self actualize. It's one life. Live it completely. At times, I feel pretty bad. How can I accept her going off without me and fucking another guy? What the hell am I doing? This isn't erotic. This isn't exciting. I'm not getting anything from this that is positive. All I'm getting is a bag of nerves. It's not that I feel bad universally or anything. I just feel all mixed up. Up down, back around, over and under. My wife doesn't call. This is probably better. With how I'm feeling, I don't think I'd find it erotic to hear her fucking another guy right now. Part of me is sad about it too though. Has she blocked me out? Focused utterly on him and getting the best sex she can? I hope so. That's what I asked her to do, encouraged to do. Ok, it's fine she hasn't called. But, maybe it's not fine. Up down, back around, over and under. These sorts of thoughts keep going around my brain. I know I'm not getting anywhere with them. I will not call and tell her to stop what she's doing and come home. I won't call to check up on her. I wanted her to have a good time, and my own turmoil is not her problem and would interfere with the evening. Why go through all of this only to throw a grenade on to the evening? If you're dead certain you feel neutral, or at least so jumbled you can't make heads or tails of it positive or negative, let it ride. Go with it. Ok, got to distract myself. Once kids are to bed, go and play computer game. Ok, kids to bed, back downstairs and off to computer game. Computer game, set on tough level, should involve me enough to distract and let the time slip by so I don't focus on her fucking him. Works for a while. I look at the time. 9:15. Ok, almost two hours down and only half an hour to go before she leaves him. Oh now that's a thought. I'm focusing on when she's leaving not when she's returning home? Why am I thinking that? Maybe this is jealousy? No, it's not. It's worry. It's nerves. It's desperation that the evening works out ok, and once she's on the road there's no variables left. It's just time until she gets home. Once on the road, I don't have to worry about anything other than her driving safely. Back to game. Ok, it's getting intense and I'm having a hard time with one of the enemies. Time slips by, thankfully with my brain disconnected. I suddenly realized by brain cashiered out on the game, and I don't know what time it is. Flip open the cell phone. I don't trust the wall clock to tell me the accurate time, but the cell phone always has the right time. 9:51. Wow! Only 9 more minutes and I'll hear her voice. 9 minutes. Ok, I can do this. I'm not going to go ape shit crazy after all! She's probably getting dressed now, cleaning up, saying goodbyes. Back to the game. Focus on the game. Make the time go by. Back open the phone goes, and it's 9:58. Uhg. Nerves are dominant now, and I can't get back to the game. 10:00. Ding. Time is up. Call. I've got the cell phone and portable phone both with me at all times. Either one, I can answer immediately. Nothing. Ok, don't panic. Be prepared, but don't panic. Prepare. Ok, get the car seats out to the car and get them set. Hello car. Damn, where's my keys? Back inside, back outside, get the car seats in. Also go to figure out some blankets to go with them. I'll wait until 10:15. 10:15, I'll call. Is that too soon? Maybe they're still fucking and lost track of time. I don't want to interrupt them. Rush around, ...RING...RING....Oh my God please let it be her. IT IS. She calms my nerves, tells me everything is fine, needs my heart rather than me chewing on it. Asks if I'll be ready for her. She wants sex when she gets home. I'm so nervous it'll take a forklift. Ok, she'll be home in an hour. Stand down alert, figure out how to get your heart back down from triple time. Go back to game and try to defocus. Home she is, and we start talking. After a while, I get the feeling I'm pulling teeth to get details from her of the evening. I stop trying to prod it out, and she clams up. Bump in the road,. we get past it she starts going into more details but still holds back. I can't handle this. Why is she holding back? I don't want to know. Let's go watch TV. Do something normal, and ignore this. Not a good reaction, but I can't handle this withdrawal, lack of easy willingness to talk in depth about it. She eventually goes into more depth, and the details come out. I avoid telling her how I feel. I want her to tell me everything, how it went, how she feels. I'm unsure of my words, my feelings, and don't think I can speak clearly without putting a damper on the evening. We start fooling around We spend a lot of time in varieties of doggie position, and she's begging for more sex and wants me to cum. I want to face her, to kiss her, to hold her, to tell her how much I love her. I don't want to do doggie style right now, but it's making her happy. We eventually switch positions so I can see her. It's highly erotic to me that she wants to fuck Dave. Not wanting to color the moment, I don't mention anything about this or ask questions about how much she wants Dave. But, she brings him up so I figure it's fair game. She wants him very much, likes having him as a fuck toy and loves having his penis inside her. She tells me she told him how good it felt to be fucking him. Even now, when typing this, I find it erotic and my penis swells at the thought. I ask her how often she wants to fuck him, once a week twice a week and she can't answer that. I'm expecting her to say once a week or maybe more. She wants it now, wants it bad, wants Dave to play with and frequently. And again, my penis swells at the thought. We spend a lot more time having sex than we normally do, and she finally begs me to cum. Maybe she's sore. I cum, and it feels wonderful. My lady, my heart, my love. I'm now a bit upset she hasn't asked question one about how I feel, how I felt the whole evening. I don't say anything. I want her to ask on her own. She goes into the bathroom, and I get her BC pill out. When she's removing makeup, she gets water on her naked front and I towel her off. I don't know if I'm successful or not, but it's an act of love and it means more to me to show the act of love than to actually remove the harmless water from her. Off to bed we go, she'll go to sleep first, me later. I'm trying to get her to sleep now because it's very late, past 12:30 a.m. She wants to cuddle..oh wonderful! Lots of intimacy in that. I ask her if she feels like she's falling in love with him. She tells me emphatically no. The cuddling is close and emotional to me. We eventually stop and she goes to sleep. I am more upset that she has still not asked me how I felt at all. Maybe she's surmising how I felt based on how erotic I find it that she wants to fuck Dave. But, that's like asking the crouton how the entire salad feels. I try to sleep but have some anger. Why anger? I don't want this emotion. I want her to care about how I felt, but I don't want to push it on her. I don't want her to feel forced to ask me how I felt. I want it to come naturally. But, it didn't, and I'm disappointed. But, I'm very happy she had a wonderful evening, really enjoyed it, and wants to do it again. #### (end of semi-stream of conscious writings) If you're still reading at this point, you're nuts My wife and I talked many more times about this evening in the days and weeks after it. She did ask me about my thoughts and feelings, and we discussed everything many times over. She had a very pleasant evening with Dave. They had a fair bit of sex, both vaginal and oral in many positions, and a fair bit of talking. They spent the entire time naked, and mostly in bed. We'll be meeting up with Dave again in the future (we haven't had a play date with him since) but schedules have gotten in the way again. My wife wants very much to have sex with him again, and I want her to have sex with him again too. Solo? We're not sure. We're going to try again, we just don't know when or with whom, whether it's Dave or someone else. I had way too many jitters the first time, and from the writing above you can tell a lot of it was silly stuff. I need to get past it. If my wife and I both feel it is good for us together and individually, we'll do it again. If it gets better, we'll keep trying it. If not, then we'll probably just swing together. But, we'll definitely keep swinging.
  7. Glad the jitters are normal I don't feel jealousy, and I don't know that her coming home to me has any specialness to it because I don't in any respect feel she is leaving me for someone else (even if temporarily) or anything like that. I've zero fear she's going to go "Holy cow! That was the best sex I ever had! Sayonara Mr. MWP!" She knows this is sex and sex only. Not sure I understand how Dave will feel jealous? Wanting her back in his bed and feeling jealous that she's with someone else (me)? Thanks for the input on the phone sex bit! Replying on other points; they're getting a room. Rather, Dave is getting a room and she's meeting him there. My wife plans on being there for at most 2.5 hours. She can stay longer if she wants, but she'll call me if she wants to stay longer. If she's late by a fair bit and I haven't heard from her, I think I'll be going crazy I don't know if she'll leave as soon as they are 'done'. I don't mind them chit chatting, then having sex again, or taking a shower together to clean up or what have you. If she cleans up, she cleans up. I think I'd find it a bit erotic for her to come home with his cum dried on her, if he cums on her. But, if she doesn't that's fine too. As for problems...We have every reason to trust Dave, and no inkling at all there's reason not to. It being at a hotel, it's a bit safer than at his place. I know where the hotel is, and I will know the room number before she goes in. She'll call me before going in, and call me when she leaves. If she wants to stay past when she's supposed to leave, she will call me by the time she's supposed to leave. She understands that the cavalry is coming if these things don't happen. The worst case scenario is I lose contact with her, but I at least know the hotel she was supposed to meet him at. This has all gained a sense of immediacy because plans are in place now for her to go play solo with Dave for this Friday. I'm especially happy about it because I had doubts about her desire to go solo but not now. I don't want her to play solo because I want her to play solo, or for any purpose of my own. I want her to play solo because she wants to and is very excited about it. Recently, she made it very clear to me she wanted me to set it up with Dave. As I mentioned in the first post in this thread, I had carte blanche to set it up. But, she felt I'd just have to do it and gently push her out the door. I think now the thought is driving her wild as she's well past that now and wants very much to go. That makes me happy because I know without a doubt now that she really wants to do it. Though, the jitters part of me is saying 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?" In the home stretch now, so to speak. If anyone sees reason for caution in any of this, please say so. We're all ears.
  8. My wife and I have been swingers for a while now. We've talked at various different times about the idea of her playing solo. I'm not interested in playing solo (and my opportunities would probably be limited anyway) so the discussions have focused on her desire to play solo. I've never pressured her on the idea, just held her hand as we walked the thought path together. For me, I'm happy for her to play solo given a few constraints; mainly that it is something she wants very much, and there's no emotional non-monogamy going on. We recently were swinging with a single male "Dave" (us together, not solo). After a very enjoyable session with him, my wife has been very horny (almost insatiable!). She is extremely eager to have sex with him again. I'm not a jealous type, and this doesn't bother me in the slightest. She's been very emphatic in telling me she wants me more, and I've no questions about that. Our communication has been completely open and honest, as it always has been. I have zero doubts about our relationship or swinging within the context of our relationship. Before Dave, my wife had been somewhat opposed to playing solo, saying she wants me there in part for safety, in part for mutual enjoyment, and in part because she has said she'd feel like she was cheating if I wasn't there. With Dave, there's not really a question of safety. We trust him. For mutual enjoyment, it's erotic to me for me wife to go play solo (though I admit I'd prefer to be there, but I don't object because I'm not there; I know she'd come home ridiculously horny and insatiable again). We've also spent a lot of time over many months talking about her feelings that she would feel like she's cheating. She's previously understood that logically it's not cheating, but her emotions have been telling her otherwise. She's been slowly softening on that and doesn't feel very strongly that way anymore. As she has said, "I wouldn't be doing anything I haven't already done, and I'd have your permission". An opportunity will probably shortly arise where my wife can go play solo with Dave. I would not be there, so this isn't a separate room play sort of thing. It's just him and her. I usually do all the arrangements for swinging, and at my asking (not pressuring) she's given me carte blanche to set up a solo play date for her with Dave if she does not have anything else planned. She's very turned on by the idea and is really looking forward to it. So a few questions, especially directed at those whose spouses have played solo (but all comments welcome!): (1) I've got some first time jitters. It's not jealousy. I understand the difference. But, I've got the jitters. I don't read the jitters as a red flag. More, it's a bit of nervousness with the unknown approaching. Any thoughts on this? Did you experience this? What were your feelings and how did this all factor in? (2) We've talked about her calling me while she's having sex with him. We've joked that this is quite a different form of phone sex! She's ok with that, but I don't want to distract her from the task at hand. But, is this really a no-no with respect to Dave? For the men who've done this, how would you feel if the woman you were having sex with wanted to get on the phone with her husband (whom you had met, and of course you know has given permission)? (3) Is there anything that perhaps we haven't discussed or thought of that we need to consider in a solo play date? We're very clear on rules (not many). I trust her implicitly to terminate things if they head the wrong direction emotionally. She trusts me to communicate my thoughts and feelings to her (and I have) and vice versa (and she has). Any and all thoughts on this are quite welcome!
  9. We wanted to let everyone who participated in this thread what happened with this situation. Thank you to all of you as your insight was useful, even if we disagreed with some points and agreed with others. It's all good! We haven't been back to the restaurant in question, and we have not made any proposition to the guy in question. It's also unlikely we ever will.
  10. We're enjoying reading the opinions, but wanted to make a few points clear... We wouldn't make any proposition to him if he was married or even just had a girlfriend. We're not interested in screwing up someone else's relationship. We'd find out before we asked him. We do know he is not married. We don't know if he currently has a girlfriend or not (he didn't, but it's been a couple of months since we last saw him). Second, we do not live in a small town. If it didn't go well, not going to this restaurant for the foreseeable future is not a problem. Nor is the possibility of all his buddies sniggering at us, as we simply don't care what his buddies might or might not think. We don't run our lives based on what people who have no power over us think. Third, we recognize there's a low chance of success with this. We also know that not asking is a guaranteed no. So, the only chance of success is asking. The downside risk to us is zero, other than perhaps not frequenting the restaurant for a while.
  11. Hi! My wife and I frequent a restaurant here in town where there is a waiter she is very interested in having in our bed. He's a nice guy, and everything we look for in a third for a threesome. Of course, we have no idea if he's a swinger, and he probably isn't (most people aren't, after all). So, we're considering approaching him with the possibility of joining us in a threesome. My wife feels perfectly comfortable in a swing club, meet and greets, etc. But, in this situation she feels fairly shy. She's not uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with him. She's just feeling very shy about approaching him. She doesn't want to be there when we proposition this guy. I'd like some general input here on this question: Generally speaking, is a proposition to a vanilla male more likely to be accepted if the woman approaches him or the man or both? I'm sure there will be varied opinions. I'm not looking for proof that my wife she be the one doing the asking here. Don't worry I'm just wanting her odds to be the best, and see if maybe there's a general rule or what not out there on how people go about this sort of thing. Opinions? -MWP
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