I have been married 17 years to the same woman...the woman you are talking about. Her problems started when she had fibroid surgery and took medicines for he hormones. Later she had a hysterectomy and it got worse. While she was never the sex kitten she would always hide in the dark while dressing and feel ashamed if she had on anything sexy, after the surgery she just lost all interest in sex, being sexy or sexual intimacy. Your wifes issues might be hormonal or emotional. If neither of these are the problem then you may be faced with a difficult decision. First try to see if there is a biological, psychological or medical issue before you write her off.