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ionsawmill

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ionsawmill last won the day on June 6 2012

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About ionsawmill

  • Rank
    Purveyors of Perviness
  • Birthday 10/24/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married bisexual/biromantic cis male
  • Location
    Southwestern Alabama
  • Interests
    Podcasts, music, kayaking, biking, hiking, reading, museums, travel (inc. cruise ships), tabletop roleplaying games, fandom conventions
  • Occupation
    Stay-at-home-parent
  • Swinging Experience
    Attended one on-premises swing party and one off-premises club between 2005 and 2009. Inactive since
  • Anniversary
    4/23

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    ionsawmill

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  1. Well, I didn’t make it ten days before ejaculating, but it’s not my fault. I had a wet dream early this morning.
  2. It had to do with the timing of our insurance deductible. By getting it in before the year’s end, we saved $900. Not sure. I’m not exactly a gusher when it comes to ejaculate volume, so I don’t know that I’ll notice any difference. We shall see in ten days. Well, nine now.
  3. Ha! Kind of. It’s on my discharge orders that I received when I left his office. It says “12 ejaculations” so I guess it’s dealer’s choice. But if I choose to do it with my wife, we still have to use a condom until I’ve been checked twice and been certified “seedless.”
  4. The difference between this and a wasp sting is that the pain went away almost immediately. After that initial stick, the lidocaine took effect and from that point on, it was just pressure. He did the whole thing through one incision, so it wasn’t bad at all. I’m 8 and a half hours out, with no visible swelling or bruising.
  5. Got to my urologists office about 9:30 in the morning. He was tied up with a prostate surgery, so he was delayed about an hour. The nurse had me undress from the waist down, and wrap up with a sterile drape. I had taken my pre-procedure meds (cephalexin and Valium) at 9:00, so the delay gave the Valium time to start working. I was pretty relaxed by the time the doc came in. He rinsed my whole groin area with some kind of sterile solution (betadine, I think) and tucked some sterile towels around my scrotum. I tended up when he put the first shot of lidocaine in, but the pain wasn’t any worse than a wasp sting. From that point on, I felt no discomfort. We actually had a conversation while he was working: talked about Star Wars, vacations, driving in snow, etc. One of my vas deferentia was thinner than the other one, and so we talked about it as he cut it, cauterized, and sewed up the proximal end. I’d opted for an open-ended vasectomy, so he only cauterized the distal (testicle) end of the cut. Once he had the left side done, he repeated the procedure on the right. As before, only brief pain with the injection, and after that nothing. Once everything was sutured up with dissolvable sutures, he told me I could shower Saturday morning. No lifting of anything over 5 pounds. Frozen peas and bed rest for a couple of days and Ibuprofen every 4 hours for a week, whether I felt like I needed it or not. No ejaculating for ten days. After that, I have to ejaculate 12 times before I bring his office a sample. He wrote me a scrip for Norco 10, but my pain so far (6 hours later) isn’t any worse than a headache, and not nearly as bad as my osteoarthritis.
  6. Never been to a nudist colony or a nude beach, but in four years of taking figure drawing classes in college, with both male and female nude models, I don’t think we ever had an incident where someone had a visible erection, and we were all young guys in our teens and early twenties. In a matter of minutes after the model got undressed, we were all concentrating on the task at hand. They usually hung out with us on breaks, sometimes dressed and sometimes nude, depending on the weather. Never had a problem.
  7. This is an article that I wrote for BisexualPlayground.com. Reposting it here for the benefit of the group: Stainless steel: whether it's wrapping a DeLorean, lying beside your dinner plate, or facing the appliances in your fancy new kitchen, stainless steel has an allure that is easy to understand. It's smooth, it's hard, conducts heat and electricity and reflects light like a mirror. It will also last forever, if treated with care. If you're the sort who likes a more firm G-spot or prostate stimulation, stainless is a must. The smooth surface is non-allergenic, won't absorb lubricant like latex, and doesn't break down with your favorite lube like silicone or latex can. It's also unbreakable, doesn't bend and actually has antibacterial properties. If you decide not to keep your toy forever, it's 100% recyclable. Beat that! Stainless steel is made by mixing iron and chromium, with the chromium making up from 11% to 26% of the alloy, depending on the application. The chromium forms a passivation layer of chromium oxide when exposed to oxygen. This layer, which is impervious to water and air, protects the metal beneath and quickly reforms when the surface is scratched. Because it's a metal, stainless transmits heat and cold much better than other types of sex toy materials. It can be placed in the refrigerator, freezer or a pot of warm water to lower or raise its temperature. Because it is corrosion resistant and impervious to water and air, it is incredibly easy to care for. Stainless is non-porous, and can be disinfected with a weak bleach solution (10% or less), rubbing alcohol or simply by running it through the dishwasher. (Skip the rinsing agents. They can cause corrosion in some low-chromium stainless and can also irritate the genitalia.) Dry well with a soft cloth and your toy is ready for action. Metals are excellent conductors of electricity, so stainless toys can be used as one pole of dipole electrical stimulation kits. Just make sure the connection between the toy and the leads is secure, and follow the manufacturer's warnings. Some of the anal plugs made of stainless steel are works of art, much like the new borosilicate glass items that have recently hit the market. Warning: you may like your new stainless toy so much you want to leave it out on the mantle, or on the headboard of your bed. They're just that beautiful. Remember that scene in the Christmas movie where the kid gets his tongue stuck on the flagpole? Keep this in mind if you decided to freeze your stainless toy. Let it thaw a little before using. Likewise, if you decide to warm your toy, check it against your skin (like the back of your hand) to make sure it's safe for your more sensitive parts. Check for scratches or burrs before use, as even a small scratch can open up microtears in your anus or genitals, making lovemaking into bloodsport. Stainless might be a little more expensive (around three to four times the cost of plastic or silicone) but with all of the above going for it, it's sure to become a favorite part of your adult toy collection.
  8. I haven't seen one in action, but I've seen that type in fixture catalogs. I believe that the horizontal stream on those bidets must be set low enough that you kind of "lean into them" to aim at the proper spot. I'm not sure. Maybe I need to do some more research. I agree that all swing clubs should have bidets. They're great for before- and after-sex cleanup. I use ours to clean up after sex, because if I straddle it just right I can point the jet at the base of my penis and wash without spraying water all over the place. Very handy!
  9. I've added a few older blogs that I wrote for a different site. I've tried to update them to reflect any changes in situation or viewpoint. Enjoy, or not.
  10. It was in the spring of 2002 when we first made the decision to join "the lifestyle" while we were talking one night over dinner. Both my wife and I had come to this decision separately after joking about swinging and its more idealistic cousin, polyamory, for years. We were and still are very comfortable with our bodies, our sexuality and our relationship and we felt that it would be fun and stimulating to extend our relationship outside of marriage. One of my biggest surprises when we started our foray into the swinging lifestyle over three years ago was the role of bisexual men in swinging. In the swinging world, female bisexuality is almost required, with hetero females being tolerated. Male bisexuals, however, are pariah. Single and married men post ads and personals in which they tout their flexibility in sexual positions and their unerring inflexibility when it comes to gender preference. In other words, all women are "bi" or "bi-curious" and all men are "str8" or "very str8." I found it curious is that swingers seem to be quite conservative in most sexual issues. They tend to be open only to the most mundane or "vanilla" of what are commonly held to be deviant sexual practices. Their deviation from the norm (the propensity toward trading sexual partners) tends to be their only deviation. In almost any other way, they seem are sexually conservative. On that night in 2002, while sitting there discussing the possibility of swinging, even my wife suggested that we'd look for couples with straight males. Although she understood that I identified myself as bisexual, she thought that I'd be reluctant to act on those feelings. I thought of how hypocritical it would be of me to be open enough to have sex with another woman but not open enough about my sexuality to entertain the option of having sex with a man. I wrongly assumed that swingers would be welcoming toward all genders and sexual orientations. I found out immediately that I was wrong. Our first day as new swingers-to-be was an enlightening one. I found a swinger's club within a couple of hours drive from our home, and we made plans to attend. When I told the host that I was bisexual, he warned me that advertising my bisexuality would be the end of our swinging experience. The fact that my wife was straight only added to our difficulties. I found several swinger bulletin boards, and found the same situation. On one board, discussion of male bisexuality was banned because of the controversy it stirred. Determined to be true to ourselves and our potential partners, we decided to buck convention and openly proclaim ourselves a "backwards swinger couple" i.e. a bisexual male and a straight female. To my surprise, there are plenty of couples out there who are just like us, but lack the courage to come out to the swinging community. Where before we found "there are no bisexual men" we now find "I'm bisexual, but I advertise as straight because I get more action that way." In four years of searching, we've gone as far as having dinner with one couple, but we still haven't found anyone with whom we've built the rapport we feel must precede any kind of sexual activities. There's been a constant temptation to conform to the lifestyle's definition of what swingers are supposed to be, but we've held on long enough to see changes occurring in the swinger world. Lately there's been an upswelling of support for bisexual couples and couples with bisexual men. One site, BisexualPlayground.com has become a safe place for swingers of all orientations to find like-minded couples and singles to play with. Have we actually "swung"? Not yet. Do we regret the decision to stick to our original plan of honesty and openness? Absolutely not!
  11. OK, so I don't have any muscles, and I've only been to California once, but I just can't get enough of the "men's lingerie" at California Muscle. This is some sexy stuff. I already have three of the Invigorator Cup style g-strings. I guess that's what you'd call them. They don't have a back, so there's no "butt floss" effect like you find with most stringy thongs. Not that I mind the butt floss, but sometimes you just want to feel unrestricted. I love the mesh thongs they sell too. I've got a mesh thong from Gyz, but I haven't seen any on sale at CM and I can't afford to buy any of their stuff if it's not on sale. I've been an underwear hound since I got out of those tighty-whitey's I used to wear when I was a kid. As soon as I moved out of the house, I started buying boxers. For some reason my mom always bought us briefs, probably because my dad wore briefs. From boxers, I regressed slightly to boxer-briefs. Then I happened upon some string bikini briefs at Wal-Mart of all places. That led to the discovery of thongs at Target. I ended up buying twenty pair of those. We were in St. Louis on vacation and I found a mesh thong by Gyz at a sex shop as well as two pair of the tiniest and tightest boxers I've ever seen. The next year, while on vacation in Key West, I found the Invigorator Cup on sale in another sex shop. (Can you tell I do a lot of underwear shopping on vacation in sex shops?) Anyway, I liked it so much that I bought two more when I got home. Now they're sending me a catalog every quarter. Their catalog rates as softcore porn. Most of their stuff leaves little to the imagination. Now, when people ask the question "boxers or briefs?" I say, "Yes!" Seriously though, when I wake up in the morning and get dressed, there are a lot of factors that go into what kind of skivvies I'm putting on: What am I doing today? If I'm just sitting all day in front of a computer, then most anything will do. If I'm going to be working outside in jeans, then I'm more likely to pick boxer briefs for the support and lack of irritating strings. Have I shaved recently? I've been shaving my balls and the base of my cock for years. When I'm done, I powder with a little talcum and then I make sure I pick underwear that won't cause chafing for that crucial 24 hours after the razor. This usually means a comfortable loose thong or a pair of actual boxers (not boxer briefs). There's nothing like razor burn to really ruin a good day. Have I masturbated or had sex recently? Ok, I don't know about other guys, but I drip for hours after I ejaculate. Mesh or Lycra just won't do. Otherwise, I'll be dripping through my pants, which is just too embarassing. It has to be something absorbent like cotton and preferably layered. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm not sure how I even manage to get dressed in the morning. I have a friend who wears nothing but white boxers - always the same brand - and he never has to ask himself "what kind" when he gets out of the shower. That seems like such an easy, but boring, life. I'd much rather take a little time to weigh my options and end up wearing something that suits me and my day.
  12. So I was using our bidet yesterday and... What do you mean, "What's a bidet?" Haven't you ever seen Crocodile Dundee? According to Wikipedia, a bidet is a "low-mounted plumbing fixture or type of sink intended for washing the external genitalia and the anus." The name, pronounced "bi-day", comes from the French word for pony which in turn comes from the French verb for "to trot." This is because one sits on a bidet in the same way one might sit astride a horse or pony. It could also be related to "having the trots" but that's just pure conjecture. The article goes on to explain... Oh hell, go read it yourself. I'm not your search engine! Suffice to say that the bidet popped up in the late 17th century or early 18th century, about the time people figured out that cleanliness wasn't just next to godliness, it was also next to impossible to ignore in the face of urbanization, the Industrial Revolution and outbreaks of the plague and venereal disease. Bidets were originally designed by furniture makers and were commonly made in the shape of a low wooden stool or chair with a removable ceramic or metal pan. The normally resided in the bedroom. You'd have to fill it from a pitcher of water and empty it afterwards, unless you payed or owned someone to do that for you. "Indoor plumbing" allowed the bidet to go from a simple bowl to a modern ceramic fixture. Americans are generally clueless when it comes to bidets encountered while traveling or in the occasional American home or hotel. Reactions span a gamut from mild embarassment to confusion to laughter. Our Puritan roots begin to show when we're confronted with a fixture so blatantly designed to wash those parts of our bodies we're not even supposed to whisper about, much less spend time washing. For those uninitiated, I have a few tips: • It's not a fountain! • It helps to sit on it! It's also not for washing your boots, as Mic Dundee discovered. Most of all, it's not a toilet or a urinal. Thank me now for not including illustrations for these two most common misconceptions. Housekeeping will not be happy with you if you forget. Truth be told, bidets have more uses than just cleaning your hiney, but they all revolve around personal hygiene. Think of it as a very low pedestal sink, or a very small bathtub. For instance they make great bath basins for children, elderly and disabled people who can't use a bathtub; a convenient place to wash your feet; or as a baby bath! So how do you use a bidet? Well, it's not as hard as you'd think. Most of them have one or two faucet handles to turn on the water and adjust the temperature. This is important, because your nethers are not going to react to either freezing cold or scalding hot water. Depending on the type, there will be either a horizontal or vertical jet and a valve which sends water to the jet or streaming down the sides of the basin. What I like to do is adjust the volume of water coming through the jet to a few inches high. I then adjust the temperature of the water to a comfortable level, using the inside of my wrist like you would with a baby bottle. Straddle the bidet, facing toward the wall and the controls. At this point, your anus should be in the vicinity of the jet. Adjust the volume of the jet until the spray is hard enough to clean, but still comfortable. By rocking gently forward and backward, the entire perineal and perianal area can be washed clean. For women, straddling the bidet facing away from the wall allows cleaning of the vulva in exactly the same manner. Be careful, though, as most bidets have enough water pressure to send a jet of water nearly to the ceiling. Of course, I've skipped a step. You might be asking yourself whether you should use toilet paper before the bidet. Put simply, it's a matter of choice. Bidet use around the world varies greatly. In Europe, for instance, a bidet is used secondary to toilet paper. In other parts of the world, it's used instead of toilet paper. In fact, in Japan there are high-tech toilets with electronic controls and built-in bidet jets that even send a jet of warm air to dry you so you never have to touch yourself. Imagine that, you latter-day Puritans! And what if you do have to use your hands? Well, it's no less sanitary than using toilet paper. In fact, it may be more sanitary. Besides, you're going to wash your hands afterward anyway, right? Right? Tell me you're not one of those people who doesn't wash your hands! Imagine this: families marching forward into the 21st Century with clean, fresh bottoms, ready for anything that life can throw at them because they know that when... OK I just lost that whole metaphor. Forget that. Just keep all of this in mind the next time you take a potty break and see an unfamiliar fixture. The bidet may have been invented over three hundred years ago, but it's kept up with the times. While other bath fixtures remain stuck in the last century, the bidet has become the hottest new bathroom gadget. Rocket cars? Who needs 'em? Personal jet packs? Gimme a break! The bidet is our sign that the future will be a clean, healthy and comfortable place. Remember this, too: the mystery and unfamiliarity of the bidet can be a big turn-on for some people. After all, it's neater than a garden hose and can be temperature adjusted, making it a sexy addition to any bathroom. If you're not sure what I'm getting at, then you should get out more. Let us just leave it at that. Bidets are sexy and stimulating and... Well, you get the picture.
  13. Damn! I mean seriously! Damn! I've offered my thoughts on anal play before, mostly in a negative sense. Recently I had a more positive, albeit solitary, experience that I thought offered a nice counterpoint to my past comments. My wife bought a toy just for me. After a disastrous attempt at prostate massage (due to short fingers) she surprised me with an njoy Pure Wand. She'd purchased an njoy Pure Plug for herself, and we'd both been impressed with the feel of stainless steel. The Wand is a work of art. Both ends can be used for either G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the curving shaft tapers so that you can choose either the large or small end. Each end is vaguely penile in shape, and the curve makes it excellent for solo play. I decided to try it out one night recently, and found it to be the best tool I'd ever used for prostate massage. My "P-spot" has never been happier. My best friend has a phrase he likes to use: ass happiness. He's the straightest man I know. He makes Clint Eastwood and John Wayne look like pansies. The mere mention of homosexuality makes him queasy, so when he says "ass happiness" it has a completely non-sexual conotation. For him, it's that moment when you get out of a kayak, canoe, or a car after a long trip and all the blood finally rushes into your otherwise numb ass. It makes you feel human again. I've found a whole different form of ass happiness that would make my friend blush. I'm no novice when it comes to either anal play or prostatic stimulation. I started fingering my ass when I was just a kid, and I found my prostate, quite accidentally, when I was still in high school. Nevertheless, the njoy Pure Wand is the most beautiful thing, in more ways than one, that I've ever put in my ass. I've tried plenty of silicone, latex and vinyl toys of various shape and size, but this one tops them all. Unlike various polymers and plastics, the stainless steel doesn't absorb lubricants. It does absorb and then release body heat, making it very comfortable once it's warmed up. What an experience!
  14. Well, if we got to keep the attachments, it would definitely be the sex machine. If not, then the vibrating Cyberskin dildo.
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