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olderyder

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Community Reputation

15 Good

About olderyder

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 04/26/1947

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    hemet
  • Interests
    Motorcycles, fishing
  • Swinging Experience
    3 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    oldrydernlady

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  1. Don't know if it qualifies as a "worst reply", but it is one we got fairly often during our time trying as a couple. "You seem like a very nice couple, but is there any chance your Mrs. plays alone?"
  2. I know that my Mrs. had sexual partners before we married, as did I, but the number or any other details about them is something that has never interested me. Something like that has no bearing on our 20 year marriage. I believe that it takes someone with pretty low self-esteem to be worried about that. If someone is, why did they get married in the first place?
  3. In all honesty, I have to say, No, I don't swing with single males. My Mrs has, in the past, but I never have.
  4. She's 39, and I'm 63. We've been married for almost 21 years. She's been in the lifestyle for about 3 years, and I've been trying to join, unsuccessfully, for so long that I finally just gave up.
  5. The first thing you have to remember is that you can't please everyone. In the LS, like everywhere else in life, there are A list, B list, and C list people. You might try asking the folks who stuck you with this job, in the first place, just who they want invited. Then, if they have given you enough lead time on this party, give a cut of date for RSVP's. After that you can open up the invite list to some lower on it. Of course, the way things are with people today, most will expect that the cut off date only applies to others, not themselves, and will expect to RSVP on the eve of the event.
  6. Just because you asked, I'm in my 60's, and my Mrs is 39. I'm short, heavy, with a shaved head. Usually described as looking like a biker. Even though some are put off at first, by the biker look, I do (or did) very well in social situations. Part of why we got into the LS was so my Mrs. could learn to deal with social situations. When I came into the LS, I believed all the hype, that there was someone for everyone, that if I was patient enough it would happen. I guess three years of put downs, both polite and otherwise, have had their effect. I've been told that I should go to old folks clubs and have my Mrs take one for the team to get me laid. I seen my Mrs be insulted just for trying to interject the idea of my participating in play. From what folks tell me, I am supposed to ignore that kind of thing, not take it personally, and keep out there trying. I've taken another route. Because I am not interested in MFM's with my Mrs. (been there done that, ad nauseum), and not interested in watching her (or anyone for that matter) play, I have taken myself out of the LS. My Mrs is welcome to participate in any activities she wants to in the LS, as long as I don't have to watch or participate.
  7. Over the last three years I've received more advice than one person can stand. Seems like almost everyone I meet believes they have the answer to my situation. The women usually want to tell me how to score with women other than them, and the men want to tell me how to be successful in the LS.....right after they do my Mrs.
  8. Real simple answer here.....NOPE! Of course, the fact that I've never had another sexual partner since we joined the LS might have something to do with that.
  9. Maybe this is a stupid question, but why should anybody be held up to scrutiny just because they say they can't host? Is it really anybody else's business exactly why someone can't host? I thought the LS was supposed to be about sex, not a scrutiny of peoples personal lives. My Mrs. is in the LS as a "married unicorn", but the sum of the reasons why she chooses not to host is really nobody's business but ours. Personally, if I were still in the LS, I think I would be more interested in seeing a recent Doctors report that the prospective "date" is not infected in any way.
  10. It's only been three years since we got into this, but it seems a lot longer. At this point, I'm not even sure anyone would say we are actually still in the LS. Since the beginning, I (the male) have never been accepted into the lifestyle, except for MFM's with my wife or watching. It has been a constant wonder to me how many married guys, who's profiles say they only play as couples, have made requests to play with my wife (with or without me). But, I digress. Through the last three years, we have tried many ways of fitting into the LS. We have tried, on several occasions, to stick to the "all play or none play" rule, but that just meant that when we went to parties or on premises clubs, none played. Seeing as how I am older, and not what you would call pretty, I found myself getting in the way of my Mrs. being allowed to have a good time. It seems that the only folks who were willing to be with the both of us, were folks nearing my age and looks. Just because my Mrs. likes sex with me, doesn't mean she got into the LS to have sex with guys like me. I never could understand how so many people who stated so loudly that no one should ever take one for the team, seemed to feel that my Mrs. should jump at the idea. So, after wasting a fair amount of time and money going to events where neither of us were able to have any fun, we gave up the "all play/no play" bullshit. We went back to the Mrs being able to play when and with whoever she chose, and I tried to go back to watching/doing MFM's with her. Only problem was that that didn't work for me. Watching held no interest for me, and after all the rejection I had felt, I was no longer able to perform in MFM's. So, I stepped back even farther. I became what I called a "social swinger". I escorted the Mrs. to any events she wanted to attend, acted as her designated driver, and made sure she was not bothered by unwanted attention. I told her that I was no longer interested in watching or participating in any activity, but she was free to do what she wanted. This was doomed to failure from the get-go. She kept trying to drag me into MFM play, and got upset when I wouldn't cooperate. Next we got into a big arguement over that fact that at a party, I wouldn't watch while she played with a guy in the swimming pool. It turned out that I was ruining her fun by not participating/watching. Now, we are at the point that I no longer participate in the LS in any manner. except here. She can go to any events she wants, and do anything she pleases as long as I am not involved. We have changed our profile to list her as a "married unicorn". Recently, we got another example of how two faced the LS can be. The Mrs. went to a party recently, and spent a fair amount of time flirting and being flirted up by a former play partner (married). When the Mrs. got bored with the protracted flirting, she asked him where he was going with it. He told her "Nowhere, but if you want to get laid tonight, you should go strip, get on one of the couches with your legs spread, and put a box of condoms on your chest." Rather than cause a scene, the Mrs. came home, and hasn't shown any interest in anything connected to the LS since.
  11. We have found that CL is almost tolerable, if you are buying or selling something.
  12. We finally got the costs down where they belong, at almost $0. All it took was being free members on a few sites, which based on the response we ever got from them is about the right price. We don't go to clubs or meet and greets, so no cost for booze, gas, eats, or admission fees. I stopped going to house parties, so the Mrs gets in free (she was the only one getting laid anyway). At house parties, someone is always willing to provide the Mrs with drinks (so no booze costs), She doesn't need to buy new clothes (why buy something new just to take it off). She only goes to local house parties, so there is usually plenty of gas in the car already. Thus, our costs for swinging= $0.
  13. Does it count as a cuckold if your only participation in the lifestyle was watching your wife play, or being in MFM's with your wife? After 3 years I told the wife that I was done with limited access, and she should just go ahead and do her own thing without me. I have been told on numerous occasions that I am a cuckold, and just want to be sure.
  14. At least here in So Cal, not anyway near as many as you would think. The ladies drive the LS bus.
  15. No, we never "kept score". When he never got any action in three years, what's the need?
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