jnjswingcpl

Wow, this is a tough one. The two ideas that come to my mind are very different in concept. The first is that it is still too soon after the emotional pain caused by unfaithfulness. A lot of guys that have been cheated on feel a sense of inadequacy (what's he got that enticed her so much that I don't have?), and this could be playing into it. He may be feeling that because you cheated on him in the past and it hurt him and caused some insecurity, and now you are talking about swinging which would bring to his mind the idea of you being with another man more than the idea of being with another woman. These feelings may never go away for him, but it might, especially with the help of a counsellor. My other thought, and it again plays into the feelings of insecurity he is probably having would be to start out with either FMF or with softswap. Once he begins to see that this isn't just something for you, it may help him get over his feelings and see that it is just sex, and a fantasy that can be a lot of fun. Although, this part of your post does concern me. Maybe this is something that you do want more for your experiences than for his, and maybe he is picking up on this. You may also want to do some more searching within your own heart.

My wife and I, too, have had a hard time determining what exactly the no drama issue is. We have pretty well determined that it is a bit more along the lines of making sure that there isn't going to be arguments arising in the presence of other couples. For example, if we were having drinks with another couple and started arguing about what she or I doesn't do for the other, or arguing about who did what wrong in our last encounter... that would be drama in our eyes. We also feel that it would be communicating issues we might have with the other couple. Not communicating something that someone was uncomfortable with, but rather letting it go, but having it come back up later in a big way would also be drama.

Maybe it is just the couples we've met, but the wife and I have noticed a similar trend. Although, given the community we live in, it seems like the guys really aren't all that great, but most aren't too bad (physically fit at least), and the wives are really hit or miss. Now, the wife is (in my oppinion and in the oppinion of most of the people we've met) really attractive. Maybe it's the lack of looks on the men's part that has inflated my ego with comments from the women of the couples, but I would say that I am fairly good looking as well. I suppose that given the area we live in at least, that we may be a "other unicorn" couple as well. I am still holding out that the wife is far more attractive than I, but I guess we'll see that more when we move back to NE Oregon where there is a bit more of a population to judge from.

Wow, great thread... For us, at least me (him) I would have to say getting off inside the woman. Getting off inside vaginally is something that my wife and I have discussed, and I'm just not okay with. For some reason, that part actually makes me feel sick to my stomach. Sex without condoms is okay with a couple we know to be disease free, but if he's going to get off, he has to pull out. And, because I do not agree with one-sided rules and coupled with the fear of the other female getting pregnant, I would not consider getting off inside anyone but my wife. The saying of "I love you" by anyone to someone they are not married to in a swinger setting is another thing that we don't feel entirely comfortable with.

I have laughed myself nearly to tears a couple of times from these posts. Since my wife and I only have had one swinging experience, I don't have any that are nearly as funny as some of these, but here are two that happened the other night that I got a laugh out of: 1) We had just started getting things going, I was going down on the other wife, and he was going down on mine. All of a sudden, I felt something furry on my leg, and realized that one of the cats our friends have had jumped on the bed. The other one jumped up after the first, and they began fighting on my feet. All I could say was I didn't think it was just the four of us any more... 2) A little bit later, we were fully engaged in sex, and I switched to doggy style with the wife of the other couple. The first time I pushed in, I heard a soft phwwwwwt, and thought that she had let a fart slip. Not wanting to embarrass her, I didn't say anything, and kept going. All I could think was, I hope that doesn't stink much. Turns out it was just from our bodies meeting creating a wet suction sound, but for a minute there, I thought that we were going to have a small problem.

After reading all the posts, I couldn't help but chuckle at this one: Plays well with others

Well, my first time seeing my wife with another man was just the other night, ourfirst swinging experience. We went full swap for our first time with another couple, and it was a pretty mixed emotion for me. I was enjoying what I was getting, but looking over and seeing my wife with another man was hard at first. But, what helped me was I listened to my wife. She was moaning and sounded like she was having a good time, and I realized that it was because of me that she was having this good time. I was letting it happen, and at the end of the night, she was going home with me, so it went from jealousy to enjoyment very quickly. I guess that is the biggest part of it is to remember that at the end of the session, your man will be going home with you.