ready_to_learn

I am very reatful for all of your input. I really want to see how this pans out before I makeany definite decisions. he really needs to take astep back and I think that we are on the right path for that we'll see how the conversations go today and then we'll go from there. I really don't want to lose him. and he doesn't want to lose me. we just need to figure out how to make this work.

I can't really express this in a way that everyone seems to understand so it's not necessarily his way or the highway. I'm aware that is what i originally made it sound like. A person that he trusts has almost sort of figured out what's going ona nd wants to talk with us separately. He is a great friend and I'm very glad that we have him here and that my boyfriend is willing to talk to him. he is willing to help me look on SLS for couples or women that we could start out with. And i'm very excited to see the number of people I've foudn in our area.

Some poeple are going to be talked to today. His best friend wants to talk to both o fus separately today...but I don't htink his friend ahs contacted him yet. I have already started looking for couples or single females through SLS...because that's what i'm interested in...and doing this together. I really think that's where we need to head. also I am amazed by the number of young people on SLS

I think me informing her might be a good idea...and yes I ahve met her and she and I haven't discussed the situation at all as for right now I think he needs to talk to his friend, and he needs to stay away from being alone with her

but I was wondering if there are many christian swingers out there. Since it basically goes against everything that the religion tells you but it's not like we all listen to all the rules all the time...

he's willing to have a threesome but i am not(with this particular girl) therefore he was giong to have her by himself. But there's a whole new kink in this chain... his best friend is figuring it out and his friend is really not cool with all this. And was kind of going after her himself for an actual realationship. I wish I could show him all of your concern and let someone else knock him over the head and say THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA! I todl him tha tI am now actively trying to find someone else...

I said a lot in the previous two posts(I am the original poster) if they are not here by morning i will restate it all...but if they are then that's that I'm too tired to repost all the information I processed

hopefully it will post all my replies soon...I'm tired and it is late I just hope to hear back on what people here think...

oh and also as far as being bullied in a relationship this is nothing compared to relationships I've had in the past. I dated a guy who cheated on me multiple times told me he'd quit drinking and smoking, and doing drugs(all things i didn't like at the time I'm still against smoking and drugs...at elast for anyone i'm going to be with) It was not a good situation. the guy i'm with now got me away from that. he's never done ANYTHING that I've ever asked him not to, and he really is going out of his way to try and make me comfortable with this. He has told me that if it would make me feel better we could "take a break" while he does his experimentation but that he'd really ilke to sitll be with me and would relaly like me to be a part of it, and is still totally open to the option of finding another female to participate.

I'm the originial poster, I have registered, hopefully I will be able to remember my name on here and whatnot. We established things like she is to never htink that she is in a relaitonship with him. And he's not trying to force me into a threesome, it was just an option to make me feel better. And I think that I was a lottle harsh in saying I could accept it or getout. I know that's what I said, but it's not exactly true. what he really meant was that this is something I can learn to accept or that maybe we aren't meant to be together. he really wants to be with me and we were together a lot of today and he was treating me better than he has in a really long time. My biggest issue is trusting him, and not because he's ever doen anything in the past that would lose my trust, but that other relationships I've been in were not trustworthy, and not even as far as sexual things goes just no trust in general. Ages don't really matter in thae situation other than I feel she is too young for me to be with. He is a few years younger than I amand she's a few eyars younger than him. And we're relatively young to be getting into this kind of community. and yes it is just the two of us in the relationship...this other girl is completely third party. I am actually a lot more ok with all of this now than I was before. There are 3 people he has said he trusts for us to talk about htis with in our lives. and I've talked to two of them. both of them have said they don't really understand and one is prepared to beat the ever living crap out of him if he hurts me. so yeah...he has promised to try harder in our relationship. And I do need to give him some space outside of even the sexual exploits that he wants. Jus tin general in life. I dont have a lot of friends outside him. I have a few sadly a lot of them don't live here. So it's hard. My biggest problem is feeling that he is going to abandon me for her. He swears he will never do that. he ahs told me that he has no intention of starting any relationship with anyone else. And that I was allowed to tell a few peopel ifi wanted to go out to local clubs or parties or anything to meet people for myself or for both of us. and I'm kind of open to that. He has some situations and so do I that it's not really approproate for this to get out,a nd I really trust the people who have been told. But as i said it's not that he doesn't love me or doesn't want to marrying me, and we've even discussed this being a temporary thing, because of extemporary circumstances. oh and she has also been told that I come first and foremost above everyone else in his life. ie if they were planning to do something and I was in an accident or something just bad happened in my life he woudl come help me and leave her. and I think it is only fair that she know that. the big problem here is my excess of jealousy and lack of trust and I relaly should be able to trust him. We've been discussing this for 1.5 years and it'snot my fault that he found someone before me and someone that I didn't want to be with. We never said only threesomes. I think before today as a whole there just wasn't enough communication between the two of us. It's not good and we need to work on that some more. any other details people htink are necessary just ask, I may not give them but you are free to ask.