Jump to content

canuck81

Registered
  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About canuck81

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 11/18/1981

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Edmonton
  • Occupation
    Sales REp
  1. Thanks for the help, to try and answer all of the little questions, yes, we have an open marriage and we have played with another couple (same room), and just haven't found another couple that we are compatible with! As for how the rule was broken, I believe her that it was heat of the moment, she has a hard time saying no when in that situation...we have since changed the rules to have either an 'all in or all out' format, we are either allowed to play, or not, no middle ground. Again thanks for the help, you have helped put me at ease and have given us a lot to discuss!
  2. Hey all, thanks for the replies. There was one big rule that was broken and that was when we were visiting on vacation, she went for separate room fun with him and we agreed that they could fool around, oral ok, sex not. She was gone for quite some time and when she came back I asked if hey had sex, she said no (which I found out 8 months later was a lie), she didn't want to hurt my feelings, and didn't want to ruin our vacation. That said, I was able to forgive that transgression as I understand the heat of the moment etc (and yes, there were hours and hours of discussion for that one). That said, going forward it was expressed that there should be no more lies, but I never wanted to give an ultimatum, especially one that I can't keep (seeing as we have 2 young kids as well, and I don't think I could ever leave them OR her). So that puts us where we are now, they have had fun again recently and things went well, I am certain she is just not telling me about texting and emailing...and it's not that I need to know every detail, I just want to know it is happening so that my over active imagination (a blessing and a curse can be put at ease...we have since had one discussion that got the ball rolling but there is going to be more to follow. We are both just finding that it is very challenging at times because an open relationship is difficult to compare to what we are surrounded with and what experience we have (this is our first time in an open relationship, no experience to draw upon)! Thanks for all the help, and yes, it is tough to come across in written form but we are in this together and we are going to work it out, just need some advice and help on how to make it work for both parties involved!
  3. So my wife and I started swinging a few years ago with her playing with a close male friend of hers, everything was good, we enjoyed the sex and started looking for others to play with, while it was exciting we didn't find too many couples to play with and only had a few experiences with another couple. She has continued to play with her first friend (when they see each other, as he lives far far away). The problem lies in that she has broken some of the rules and while this upset me at the time we moved past it and agreed on a way to get around it (or so I thought). It has happened again where she has got 'caught in the moment' and broke the rules again, then lied to not hurt my feelings, when i do find out about it, it's pretty painful, again we talk through it, and seem to agree it can't happen again. Well, I have a suspicion that it has happened again, that she is lying about something, either to keep from hurting me, or because it is not a big deal (like lying that they spoke on the phone, which I don't really care about, but why lie about it?)... I am wondering if I should be snooping or looking for a lie or what I should do since confronting her doesn't seem to work...how does someone rebuild this trust? Thanks for the help, just looking for other ways I can get her to open up so we can discuss this...
×
×
  • Create New...