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casleigh

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  • Content Count

    6
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Community Reputation

15 Good

About casleigh

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 05/01/1965

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    s/a
  1. thanks guys for all of your good advise, I was hoping that swinging would be good to brake down the wall, open up more commination,honesty,trust,respecting my boundary's,and hers,that is not so bad having a fling with me,and cheating is not the answer to her sexual desires.
  2. they knew what was going on and couldn't tell me to my face. they ended up loosing respect for me because I couldn't see it at the time, and I punch out my best friend. i was only 19 at the time yes, but only if she gets caught LOL, and yes i do blame my self, after the first time she promise it would happen again 2 years after that we had 2 kids a dog and a mortgage etc. the next fling dident happen again until 7 years after that. marriage has its up and downs right! and i wasent giving up so easy.
  3. you are right. i have asked her to have a look at her self, but when she dose she dosen't like the person she see's. so she clams up, and we go no where. misgivings??? i dont know what this means
  4. thank you so far for your input, I wanted to keep it short because I could type an epic, it has been a large problem for all of our relationship to answer some of the question mixtupcpl we don't have an open relationship but she has told her mates that she has one, to make them feel better about the situation and to justify her actions. I think she would like one but she knows that it wouldn't suit me. my wife also got through a gilt trip one that she doesn't handle too well. when we discussed swinging 10 years ago we met two couples but nothing happened, I was just inquisitive and she was scared, so it has never happened. she has told me that it would be ok for me to have someone on the side, but I think this is to justify her actions. her motives are that if she connects with a man she should be able to have her way and I should forgive her or allow her. she doesn't want any boundaries. I do believe that we have a solid foundation most of the time, other wise it wouldn't have lasted 23 years but I has been pretty rocky at times like all couples. to justmrj this is not a problem that has just started and for the majority of time we do click, it started in the first 6 month of our relationship. she was telling me that I was her soul mate that she had be searching for, my friends at the time where trying to tell me different in a mild sense, but I was not listening because I had no doubt not to trust her, until I caught her with my best friend. she told me she didn't want to hurt me and she didn't know why she did it. it has happend 2 times since then that i know of and maybe more, after the first time I got smarter and tuned into her change in attitude, also her gilt trip started to give her away, I don't think that she wanted to get caught because she was getting sneaker in many ways as time went on, but its not hard to know a change in a person to start to get suspicious and start drilling for answers. I would like to come up with a compromise that suits us both, before it happens again, she tells me that I won't, but I have herd that before. I don't think that she will compromise and then I will be forced to end the relationship and know she doesn't want that to happen. you are right justmrj take it or leave it, easier said than done.
  5. My wife and I have been together for 23 years. There are allot of gray areas after 23 years, but I would like to keep this short. She is very flirtatious and she has had affairs wile we have been together, which have destroyed me at the time and us as a couple. 10 years ago I suggested swinging as an alterative to the problem, but she said that she would try it but without me. She said that it is weird to involve me and she would be unconformable if I was there in the same room and participating. She would prefer to cheat on me because to be sneaky is the flavor that she enjoys and without that it doesn't have the same excitement. My question is there any other women/men out there that can relate to this? Any help would be good, because it does my head in!
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