couplers

I re-read my post and I was wrong. The question is whether your wife is merely allowing you to play or she is excited about you playing. If she is turned on by you having sex with other women, then I suggest that she help address the problem identified above by other posters of too many unaccompanied men in the lifestyle and too few women by her facilitating your quest for other female sex partners. Specifically, your wife can identify women among her friends and acquaintances that may be looking for a partner for casual sex and be a matchmaker. That’s what I did when I got over my jealousy after having a boyfriend but not wanting my husband to play. Long story short, I had many horny female friends who were unmarried at that time (although some had boyfriends and one was engaged) and in their late teens to well into their thirties. The topic often turned to sex in our conversations, and if she said anything about my husband being attractive, I would say that he finds you attractive too. Interest by her in my husband would be met with “It can be arranged, and I would be flattered.” Many of those took me up on the offer not only because he was attractive, but also because he was my husband, a known, safe man. Other women David and I “dated” together where I created the atmosphere and opportunities for her to have my husband. We took her to dinner, concerts, plays, even vacations, paying for everything and never expecting anything. Some of those women slept with hubby. There was never a one-off. It was comfortable enough for all to continue for a while. College girls just looking for sex with a nice guy, women with boyfriends looking for extra, a last fling before the ring, single mothers who hadn’t had any fun for a while, I babysat while they went on a date and had sex. So if your wife is like I was at that point in our marriage/lifestyle, it may be a fun way to go for her and make it all possible.

I suppose one could say that the jealousy I have and my desire for it is a form of female cuckoldry.

Although lifestyle activities need not be symmetric, more than half the fun is having your spouse play. I believe that people, especially women, are not monogamous. You shouldn't try to "convince" your wife to play with other men or women or couples (her choice), but make it clear that you love her and it would make you happy for her to explore her sexuality and satisfy her desires with no need for her to let you play. Let it be entirely on her terms: where, when, with who, what they do. Be loving and generous. That's what my husband did with me. It took two years of me having a boyfriend while hubby didn't play, but then I understood, and wanted him to engage in the lifestyle as well.

They went out and did fun things, then had sex together. Nothing they told me was anything you haven’t read about here on this forum, although I like letting my imagination run. I did talk to David and Shannon (just typing their names together makes me jealous) before and after they had sex. That was cool. And David told me that he called Joe and taunted him (as Joe likes) about fucking, screwing, making love to his wife, the insatiable slut. I also spoke to Joe and he confirmed what David said and he liked it. At least I could calm down by having sex with Red and some girl action; Joe was alone with his tormenting thoughts. It’s not courage, just that we in our family are very much in love and committed to out family, that makes us open about the little outside play that takes place, and we’re fine with it. Play outside our family may be intense (for me at least), but we understand it's just fun sex.

Yep. They spent two days and nights alone together. Indeed. Women who are lezzie for each other can be like that.

Chastity device? To me the whole idea of the lifestyle is to have more sex, not less. 🙂 Yes, often I get horny when David or Red is fucking another woman, be it one in our poly family or an outside girl. But I deal with it by having sex with whichever guy is with me, or Lora or Clair. An orgasm takes care of my distraction for a while at least.

When it's a guy, especially one of my guys, doing the licking I watch her being pleased. When it's two women, both, I go back and forth.

Agreed that watching pussy being licked by a man or woman is a turn-on, but the view isn't as good.

Agreed, having a husband who understands and accommodates a woman's sexual nature is special. For a woman, however, being that way isn't special. It is our nature.

I really don’t have an answer to your conundrum, but an observation. It is because women are generally more socially skilled, empathetic, understanding, have better grooming, communicate better, I could go on and on. Which is why I'm glad I have a Lesbian side and two other women in our poly family, not just for sex and companionship, but also to run the household and raise the children. But I/we still love our men and need dick. Women just have to accept that men are lower human life forms in many ways. The path to take is for your wife to first concentrate on finding a couple where the man is a good fit for her, then you just go with the wife of the other couple. Men are far less picky when it comes to having sex. Good luck, and please let me know how it goes.

My imagination runs wild - the things that they say and do to one another when I'm not there.

You are a wonderful husband! You understood what your wife needs, not just from a strictly sexual perspective, but psychologically as well. Interesting how that works, how much one gets back by being generous. Same for me when I got the courage to let my husband play.

It would have been nice for you to watch the two year-old and let her go out to satisfy her needs.

You are right, that's me! And it's not just seeing my men with other women, I get a more intense feelings when I know, but can't watch. Yes, but women are more emotional creatures. For most men watching their wives enjoy sex with someone else is porn, for women it's more emotionally deep and powerful.

When we were in our mid-twenties I had recruited single women to play with my husband. Hubby and I would date, as a couple, single women from among my friends and acquaintances. I would approach acquaintances I knew from college/grad school, the gym, coffee shop, the theater, bookstore, from church even. We would date them together: take them to dinner, plays, concerts, even on vacation with us (separate rooms), paying for everything and never expecting anything. We would never come on to her, but create opportunities for her to take it further: I would say I’m going out for a few hours and leave her alone with David to show I was comfortable with it and say that I’ll call her before I came back. I would undress/dress in front of them both. Not all of these dates went anywhere sexually, but were fun times anyway and the fantasies and sex afterwards between hubby, me, and my boyfriend was incredible. Many of these women, having been given the opportunity, fucked my husband; a few let me watch or get involved. Regardless of the outcome, there were no hard feeling or regrets by anyone and we still occasionally get together with the women that we are still in contact with - two of them with their husbands. One woman openly discusses the adventures we three had in the presence of her husband. We never considered it a sugar daddy/mama situation, just fun times wherever it went, which included for her safe, drama free sex with an attractive man (and if she wanted, me his wife) within the sanctity of marriage. Just not her marriage.