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MtnSwing

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About MtnSwing

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 07/31/1961

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Technically a single male but I have a very special woman
  • Location
    Alberta, Canada
  • Swinging Experience
    2 years

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    CAPC, Exxotica, Erata

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  1. Just saw an interview with Patricia Clarkson, an actress in an upcoming movie called Cairo Time - apparently she's in a threesome with two men. Also, here's my all-time favorite commercial with a swinging theme - it puts the Jack In The Box commercial to shame. It's for Guinness beer. Enjoy - and don't forget to share one with a friend - or two lol.
  2. Halloween is my favorite holiday (or at least it should be a holiday) of the year. We went to three parties at three clubs over two weekends this year. She went out as a pirate one night and a German beer girl the others. I wore my favorite costume - Tom Cruise in Risky Business - a white shirt, tighty whities, white socks and shades. I may never change my costume again lol. It's about the only time I've ever worn underwear to a club.
  3. I live in a small town and the nearest clubs are an hour away. Most of our city friends have never met anyone they know. Over the past few years my ex and I met around 8-10 couples that we know. It seems that we live in a very horny small town. Just last week I was discussing this with some friends at a swing club and right beside me was a girl I've known for at least 15 years. I didn't recognize her because of her costume (Halloween party) and the fact that I would have never expected to meet her there (I'm sure she had the same reaction). Another time I met a couple that I knew and they let it slip that they knew SEVERAL couples that we would know (that also came to the clubs). We spent weeks trying to figure out who they were. We eventually found out but would never have guessed in a million years but it was fun testing our playdar around town trying to guess. We went for a drink at our local pub one day and got home to a message on this site asking: "Were you just having a drink at the _____?" we replied "maybe - who are you?" It turns out they are local as well and as soon as I checked out their profile I instantly recognized the mrs. Every time we've met someone that we know or who may know us they have been totally cool. We're all in the same boat with lives outside the lifestyle and nobody has ever been indiscreet with us. And hey it's always nice to have someone locally that you can actually talk about the things you can't share with your vanilla friends.
  4. The Mentors. This was our initiation. Literally 5 minutes after we put up our first profile we got a message from an "experienced" couple eager to offer us advice. Then they showed up at our first club visit to tutor us in person. They tried to instill a list of a million rules before you should ever play. In reality they never seem to play. The best thing we did was to forget their rules and go with what felt good to us. Bi-selfish. This is the woman who's happy to have another woman go down on her but would never return the favor. The shape shifter. This is the person (usually a woman but not always) that never looks the same twice. You meet them once and next time her boobs are done. Next her lips. Tummy tuck next. It goes on and on. The jetsetters. They're never available because they have bimonthly trips to Hedo, lifestyle cruises and then they complain that they have no time to use their hot tub. The Hosers. These are the couples that think squirting is a party trick and every one should be well sprayed by the wife/gf. Personally I love women that squirt but not in this way. I had an experience once where I was playing with a lovely lady and some woman came in and literally stood on the bed behind us squirting on us - she thought it was so kewl.
  5. Marital staus means nothing to us. We're looking for the interaction between the two partners. Are they sensual towards each other? Can they have a whole conversation with just a glance or a look? We use their closeness as a drama barometer. Couples that are really in to each other make the best partners and usually seem to be more drama free. One exception are swingle couples. These are really singles that like to play together. They are not lovers but play partners that play with couples. We played with one swingle couple where she was a veteran swinger but he was not. He didn't really understand the rules and after playing on and off over the evening my wife was going down on him and he grabbed her head to force a deep throat. Play time ended. He was only focused on HIS orgasm and had little focus on my wife's experience. He was and acted like a single guy. The point is that just because they are together doesn't mean they are committed to each other. We have learned that we want the commitment. We also look for couples that have at least some experience. Again experience tends to reduce the drama as well new couples often run into boundary issues as part of the growing process. We won't turn down newbies but we will really take the time to make sure they are deeply in love and that they are both on the same page. We'll ask their boundaries and hold them to them. We won't let them suddenly decide to full swap if that was something they stated they don't do. We want it to be a positive experience for all.
  6. While I (Mr) loves the attention in a group setting Mrs is indifferent but game. Lately though. we've been playing with another couple and the female of this couple is sooooo loud that my wife couldn't concentrate with the noise. Even though we've always insisted on same room play we now play separately with this couple. I guess my point is that even people comfortable in group settings can be thrown off by particularly vigorous and/or noisy partners. The best advice I can give is to go slow. When I've had performance problems in the past sometimes just some slow kissing and fondling (or sexy talk) can help. It also helps you get used to the ambient noise and slowly tune it out. Too many people think they need to jump on the bed and instantly be super lover. It's YOUR experience. Make it what you want - and if that means sneaking out with one of the hotties for some quiet time so be it. Move slow, take in the atmosphere and the energy, and have fun. Like others have stated I don't always cum but that's not why I'm there. I'd rather enjoy the experience and make sure my partners have a great time. Focus on the fun and everything else will take care of itself. I hope this helps.
  7. We're mid-forties and have no rules in terms of ages of playmates. We meet most of our playmates at clubs where we have a few hours to dance, flirt and find someone to play with. We've spent a great deal of time with younger swingers and gotten close to playing - but as soon as someone closer to their age group arrives off they go. We would love to include younger couples but we're also realists. If you're interested in us tell us. We've just learned to focus our energy on the people with the highest likelihood of a connection. It has nothing to do with bias or prejudice. We just know that younger swingers are more likely to seek out partners closer to their age and experience level. If you see us at a party say hello. Let us know your interested and we'll see where it goes.
  8. When we are playing, because we're soft swing at the moment, whether he gets hard at the early stages is what triggers Mrs. Swing's interest. The most recent couple we played with was our second time with them and we had the same response. The man did not give up in terms of fingers and tongues, but Mrs. Swing quickly began to focus on the others in the foursome. She just feels that if HE can't respond to her, then she won't respond to him. Yes he was still firing on all of his other cylinders but he never managed to get it up. This time he couldn't get it up with his wife either. It was early in the evening and very little alcohol was involved. It was definitely ED. I wish there was an easy way to bring it up. I use meds so that I don't have to worry about it but you can't just say, hey, try one of these babies! Even with Levitra there's no guarantee. When I'm not ready I definitely change the focus to the woman. That will generally get me hard. As we look towards full swing, this challenge does not bode well.
  9. Hey Miss Sunshine. I was wondering if we were going to make it back to the original post. I stepped away from the computer for a day (we're on vacation in New Zealand at the moment) and it took on a life of its own. Don't worry. I DO take care of my woman and when we play we don't play separately so she gets plenty of attention. Most of the women we play with have also been bi so its not lack of attention that gets her down. It was more of that feeling that she couldn't get that physical reaction from some of the men we played with. We don't full-swap yet so we always end up together and we love the writhing fun of a four person sex pile lol. We were never looking to bash men. I use levitra before heading to a club just to make sure that everything's in working order. For me it just leaves one less thing to worry about - and even it doesn't guarantee anything. If I'm not 'up' at the moment then I spend time using my other attributes. In fact I spend more time doing that than anything else. It feels great to be able to please a women in that way, especially since we don't full swap. The advice we've gotten in this thread has been very helpful. It lets Mrs Swing know that it isn't her fault and people have mentioned some good ways to 'help' the situation. We don't want to play separately but we want to make sure that everyone gets the same attention. I know how hard it is to suffer ED because I HAVE gone through it so we we're just looking for ideas that would help her to reduce their anxiety and increase their drive. In particular playing earlier might be the best advice. Most of our play partners have been 5-10 years older than us (just by coincidence) and perhaps that has a role to play as well. We just haven't connected yet with people in the mid-forty range yet as we are. Anyway, thanks all for your help and for not being too angry at the original posting. We're fun people and we really love playing with other couples. It was just getting her down a bit. She knows it's not her fault, but as other females have mentioned it CAN feel that way at times, especially when you have a few similar experiences in a row. Cheers Mr and Mrs Swing
  10. This is fantastic. Thank you all for not flaming me for asking the question. We're really low stress people. As I mentioned, I use various tablets to help me keep it up. It's just one less thing that I need to worry about when we go out. It doesn't always work. If the situation is not right (even with my wife), I focus on HER. This in a way is my point. I realize that we'll never be all things to all people. Sexually, there will be people that are better at EVERY aspect than me. We're all about learning. We just want to focus on the person we're playing with. If they're happy then my wife and I can relive it when we get home. When we began this process I was going through a long slump. I was so stressed about performing in our own bedroom that we had very little sex for a very long time. I finally saw my doc and got a prescription (Levitra) and WOW! It's no guarantee but it has surely made my life a lot more fun. Guys - just see your doc if you have any problems. Now if I'm playing I'm likely going to take one just for the placebo effect if nothing else. With my wife, once I had the pills, I didn't need the pills. The stress disappeared and we've been like teenagers ever since. Shelley and Spoomonkey thank you so much. We're really nice people and our question is so that we make everyone feel comfortable sexy and satisfied. This discussion is helping us learn from your experiences and is giving us advice on how to choose those couples that are worth the work. Those of us new to the lifestyle don't have a lot of people to talk with and this is a bit of an awkward topic. Guys, don't feel that we are judging you, we are looking to learn ways to help make sure that our actions don't add to the challenges of getting it up. When we started, I (Mr Swing) was totally repressed. I didn't even want my wife to go topless at a topless beach. Now we are unrecognizable. Shelley keep up the sexy dress. You've got it, flaunt it. Sorry but my wife is hot and watching the reactions to her sexy dresses is part of my excitement as I'm sure it is for Jay. We met a single women the other day at a vanilla club and at the end exchanged some hot kisses and couldn't have cared less about the reactions. If you're hot, you're hot - and we'll be hot for you. Sexy is sexy regardless of size, creed, color or religion. We've seen people that we wouldn't have looked twice at outside of the lifestyle that have just blown us away in terms of their ability to ooze sex. That's a huge part of it for us. We're just finishing off a trip to New Zealand and things are SO different here. The clubs lack the social atmosphere that is so critical in the US and Canada. Pretty much everyone gets their 'kit' off by around 10:30 and then it's all about business. No sexy dancing, no foreplay, just let's swap. We can't wait to cross the pond and get back to our regular club. They show up in jeans and a t-shirt (guys and girls) because they won't stay on long - and that's the least of the clubs challenges. We were there to meet and play. Most of the couples arrived, split up, and the the guys hung around to watch the goings on. I'm sorry, you could just go to a strip bar. They were all younger than us so they were young, hot and hanging in a room full of women that wanted to have sex with them - and they chose to hang around with other men - hmmm! We don't understand, but that's another thread! In New Zealand, there's no understanding that you might not actually go full swap. Every couple, even the people we met through AFF had never even heard of 'soft swap'. They have now lol. We're moving much faster than many of the people we've associated with and for that reason we have found it difficult to discuss these problems. Some people we know have so many rules prior to play that you feel that you have to date them for years before anything happens. They don't 'do' certain body types, smokers, tattoos, piercings, people that have had cosmetic surgery...the list goes on. You wonder if they every play. For us, if we like you we want to get to know you. We're still soft swap but moving towards full. We're just struggling with the intimacy thing and working out our boundaries as we go. Everybody is sexy in their own way and this thread is really meant to help us help make sure the foursomes we enjoy don't become threesomes. We wish more guys would just do what they can when they can. If it ain't working perhaps their tongue is, or their hands, or their attitude. We've all been limp but when we stop focusing on ourselves we get a much better experience. When I stopped worrying and began focusing on making sure my partner was happy it was amazing how much happier I became. My wife is a great pleaser but she when the men were having problems they have not moved over to plan 'B' -please her! That seems to be a good indicator. If they just pack up their tent and leave then they are not interested in their partners anyway. In terms of our schedule, we do drink a little and it does tend to be late when we play. Some of the clubs we play at the 'posers' hang around until late and so it is less stressful at 2 am then at 11:30 when the 20 somethings are judging our roles and imperfections. We are doing a little more home play visits to see if that takes some of the stress out of things. We love the clubs because when we play we love to be watched. It's so naughty! We realize that for some people the clubs don't work so we're totally flexible. We live in the mountains, have no kids so entertaining is not a problem. We're just looking to expand our horizons and meet really cool people. Sorry, that sounds like our profile lol. Anyway, thanks all for your input, especially guys that have shared their experiences. We met a couple just the other night that we chose not to play with because they would not stop talking about their family, kids, cars and vanilla life. We were meeting them for the first time and perhaps going to play with them that night. As fun4Ds stated, we're just not interested. Maybe once we get to know you and become friends, but not on our first meet. We're going to talk about you, not US. Again, another thread. Sorry for the long post but we thank you all for helping. Mr and Mrs. Swing
  11. thanks all. I'm the first to admit that I've used some chemical assistance to keep everything working well so I'm not criticizing. We're just looking for advice. We know we need to put up with all kinds of challenges we just want to make the experience better. It also helps her to know that it's not her but more the multitude of other factors that play a role in ED. We just want to make sure that everyone is having fun and I don't want to get off is she's not having the same experience. Cheers.
  12. We're having trouble with limp men ruining our fun. My wife gets bored pretty quickly when we play with another couple if the guy can't get it up. It feels like personal rejection. She's hot (check out our Lifestyle Lounge or AFF profile). Ladies, how do you deal with this? If he can't get it up, she will play with the female partner but she'll cool down towards him. Thanks for your help.
  13. Wow. What a situation. If it was me, with my luck she wouldn't have answered. Thank GOD it wasn't on voicemail. Hey Honey, come listen to this voicemail that Jenny left me. Is that wierd or what? What do you think we should do? Do you think we should call Father Smith? At least it's still your word vs hers. There's no permanent record of the conversation.
  14. Wow great thread. Newbie here. We have been to a club once and we're terrified before we went inside. The people were fabulous and we made several potential hookups there. We've never even been naked in front of another couple, but we are planning some naughty hiking this weekend with a couple we met that first night. We're also returning to the club with the same couple again. The club atmosphere has given us the confidence to really pursue this. We realized that we're not deviants and that there are lots and lots of people like us. We had a blast chatting with other couples. We went up to the play room but didn't stay long. It was cool to see what goes on but we weren't ready for that yet. This time, my wife is going with a much more open and flirtatious attitude. The fear is gone and been replaced by anticipation. I'm sure many of you remember this feeling. Thanks for the advice. We'll definitely try to learn from all of your experience. We've learned to go in with no expectations but to be ready to act if the feeling is right. Worst case scenario, we've had more sex since we visited that club than we have had in years - something definitely seems to be working.
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