Aloha Teresa,
Mahalo (thank you) for your through reply.
A few years ago I attended house parties at a couple's house in NJ. As a new attendee, we were required to come an hour early for a sit and chat. The host and hostess spent that hour going over the do and don't in their house. It was a little uncomfortable at first and I soon realized the value of that get acquainted meeting. They were some of the best parties We ever attended. My partner never experience an unwanted grope.
I must admit, it's been a few years since I've attended a large house party. Two years ago I moved to my 75 acre farm, in a remote part of the Big Island of Hawaii. Our play these days is meeting couples who live a distance away or are here on a vacation.
I hate to hear that things have moved in that direction.
To explain my question, "Do you have, what you consider, acceptable cues that you are interested in playing with a couple? If you do, why are your cues acceptable and the cues from others, annoying or unwelcomed."
I was playing devil's advocate. Say we're talking to you and being nice and you say, "Are Ya'll interested in playing?" I'm thinking, I was just being nice and not ready or interested in playing with you. I could consider your question to be too aggressive or inappropriate.
BTW, I agree with everything you said in your response and I have encountered those folks. Guys grabbing my wife's breasts or reaching under her skirt while talking or dancing. At the time they were few and far between and quickly asked to leave. Excessive drinkers were the most annoying to Us. There's nothing worse than someone intoxicated, making a pass.