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serenandsol

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  • Content Count

    27
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42 Excellent

About serenandsol

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/06/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married couple
  • Location
    Santa Cruz, CA

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    serenandsol
  1. I like being attached to an attractive mate, so other women wanting him turns me on. I think what started out as an evolutionary thing (wanting procreate with as many as possible) has turned into an attraction thing.
  2. That is an interesting question. I think that it would definitely depend on the person and the circumstances. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that anything outside of the norm sexually is considered to be an automatic slippery slope to pedophilia. The moral judgment police surely have done a number on the population when two people who love each other and choose to have sex with others are more abhorrent than people who sneak around. I think there was another thread in the open marriage subforum about a man looking to go out for a one night stand, and the general consensus was that if he wore his wedding band then he'd probably have a better chance of getting lucky than without. Weird.
  3. I've thought a lot about this since we're new. I am very dominant...but not with my partner. I am totally turned off by the behavior that LFM2 describes. I do think it's a bit of a double standard, but I also think that it just depends on the person. I know women who love to be pursued. I'd rather be doing the pursuing. Being pursued feels cheesy to me...
  4. I didn't meant to abandon this thread! I apologize. I forgot to subscribe and we just made the big move to our new coastal town. I am so thrilled to be here! First, a few quick clarifications - the bedroom has definitely been the place for this talk in the past, but in the last week it's moved to "normal" space. I am definitely interested in kissing a woman but I don't consider myself bi, but I guess since I've never done it I would categorize myself as curious.. I am very attracted to men and all that comes with them! In the past week, we started talking more about him being with another woman and how I wanted that for him. I realized in talking to him that I don't care if I'm there or not...which came to a surprise to me as I realized it. We've talked, and talked and talked...and all the talk has been very exciting. He's opened up a bit about being attracted to some of my friends back home...which is very hot to me. About the poly thing...yep...they are totally different things. I guess I've been open to that more than swinging, or in addition to, because of the connection. My lovers have always been friends (except for the orgy thing. ) and without that I'm not sure if it's something I'd enjoy or feel weird about...this is something I'm working on exploring. We've talked a lot about defining his interests and what's into, but not so much about me (except for bedroom fantasy type of "I want to see you with two guys") type of thing. So maybe this is all in the realm of fantasy headspace...it's definitely something that could only be in the imagination and not pan out. I know that he has been the jealous type in the past...so maybe that's something that we need to work on as well. So that's my little update....communication is still going strong, thank you all for your advice.
  5. That sounds like a wonderful experience! So glad you had a fun time and thanks for sharing what it was like. Where do you find out about conventions? We're in CA too.
  6. Thank you all so much for your friendly advice. You have brought up some great ideas and tips! Especially the thing about emailing/chatting online with each other - we met online and so for a long time that was our "foreplay" - we're a lot more open that way and still sometimes IM while in the same room! And we love to people watch! So that will work too. Even though we worked through his infidelity (it was part of a huge pattern of self destructiveness for him at the time), I'm sure that is a small component. Ironically, I thought I'd always be the one who had problems with it...but now I'm ready to get play with others. I suppose I shouldn't see his reticence as disinterest, just as trying to navigate this all out. @ViSexual - thanks for the tip about the stories! It definitely was an interesting one. I will have to find time to post it too.
  7. What an amazing first experience! It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun.
  8. The game sounds super sexy! Glad the experience was wonderful for everyone!
  9. Hi there! I'm the female half of a married couple. We had a mutual infatuation with a woman a few years back but it never panned out. We frequently talk about swinging and exploring once we move (we're moving in a week to a brand new city), and even have discussed polyamory - although most of that conversation has been in the abstract. How do we get the conversation going more? I know a few things about my husband's tastes and preferences (he loves big boobs..mine are decent, but he definitely likes bigger), but every time I try to ask more about what he's looking for, or whom he would be attracted to, he seems very shy about it. It just kind of trails off and leads nowhere. We've been married for ten years, and three months into our married life, he cheated on me. At the time, it was devastating because it was so close after our wedding. But after a lot of growth together, I realized that I was more upset at everyone knowing than him being with another woman (the thought of that kind of turns me on). I was more upset about being embarrassed. We've done a lot of work on this and feel our relationship is rock solid, but I feel like his reluctance to talk may have been part of him not wanting to talk more about swinging? I'm not sure. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing him...because he's definitely been interested, and it's part of our regular fantasies. How do I open up this conversation more to make it a reality in the future? I'm patient...I don't mind if it's in six months or a year...I just want to get on the same page.
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