LAG

From LAG: the person who posted the first question. THAnk you to the couple of replies I"ve gotten. I REALLY appreciate them. I'd like even more because each one is so helpful as it's slightly different. I want to clairfy on thing that I wrote. He never said, It HAD so be part of my life." Rather, he explains that it is part of who he is but often says, ."It is now who I am, just part of who I am." So, it wasn't like .... either you swiwg with me or it's a no-go. It wasn't that harsh. If anyne else can shed their view on it, I'd appreciate it. Even if it's the same Idea as the three I've gotten because each one is helpful to me. I'm scared. And, my fear isn't that he'll fall for someone else because of the sex rather that when interacting in such an intimate way with others, I fear he'll develope a spark with someone else. Yes, I could too but it's him I'm worried about. I'm just so scared although the idea that many of you veterns have about no jealous sounds like where I'd like to get, right now I'm just so scared and nonunderstanding. Help me to understand. THANKS! LAG

Okay, Thanks. I'm waiting. LAG

I dated a man for 10 months. We're both 42 years old. We were very much in love then at the 9 month mark he casually mentioned, one night after we'd been drinking, that he'd like for us to swing. I've been a "good girl" all of my life and have had the concept that if a man wants to just fuck you, you're being disrespected. I knew he had done it about 2 years ago with a then girlfriend. Anyway, I FREAKED and started crying and was heartbroken. I felt like if he was willing to see me sleep with other men, then he clearly couldn't love me. Wouldn't he be jealous? I can get why men want variety in women but I was shocked that he'd be willing to let me sleep with other guys. Anyway, we didn't mention it again and a month later he broke up with me. He called me every week for five months. During that time he hooked up with a girl from a swing site and was with her seven times and they went to swing clubs although they never hooked up with a couple. He says it's just the thrill of the possibility. Anyway, just two weeks ago we decided to make things work. He loves me dearly, I know he does and I adore him. But, swinging has to be part of his life so I've agreed to at least be open minded. I've read as much as I can and am slightly interested. He says he'll wait as long as it takes for me to want to do it. Even if it takes a year. He says he doesn't want me to to it for him but only if I get to the point that I want to do it for me. Anyway, I still can't wrap my brain around why I'm not enough and is it possible to really love me and still want to see me sleep with other men and to sleep with other women. I just don't understand. Please explain to me how you can have deep love for someone and yet be okay with this. Where is the jealous? What if he falls for another women we hook up with. How am I not enough especially after such a short amount of time - just a year? Please give me all the feedback you can. I need a lot of help to overcome my fears. Part of me thinks it sound interesting but can't overcome the feeling that he must not love me deeply if he wants to do this. Thanks!