Jump to content

Youngcalcpl

Registered
  • Content Count

    49
  • Joined

Community Reputation

125 Excellent

About Youngcalcpl

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 01/18/1976

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Castle Rock, CO

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    youngcalcpl
  1. I cast my vote with you guys trying to be aggresive and see what happens. If they aren't receptive then you may need to look at disentangling yourselves from them and moving on. Pretty much every single time we have done anything in the lifestyle I have had to be the one to make the suggestion to get the action started. We all get hot and heavy online or on the phone but once we get together we end up chatting and hanging out and no one seems to want to make the first move. Even if you aren't aggresive you may have to start if these people are like the ones we've found in the past.
  2. I think MN Tom said it best that "Whatever you are comfortable with is reasonable". There are no set rules here. You decide what works for you and find a way to make it fit into the lifestyle. You're opinion may change over time as you start exploring more but you make your own rules so there is no point second guessing yourself. That being said I am sure we get fewer emails from people due to the fact that we aren't perfect but that's just life and we do our best not to be bothered by that. As a male I'm not really all that picky and in truth I kind of prefer a woman that isn't bone thin. It's the hot moms that I look for when we peruse SLS. Stretch marks and scars are just part of life and I think most people will understand and see past them. From my experience everyone has issues with how they look. Women that you think might be too thin probably see themselves as needing work or having flaws that will keep them from being wanted. And your husband probably means it when he says it doesn't matter to him if someone is smaller and that you truely are beautiful. I say the same thing to Mrs. YCC and she doesn't believe me either even if it is true.
  3. I think Mrs. YCC would be considered straight by most women in the lifestyle since she has no desire to go down on or receive oral from another woman. Kissing and touching is all well and good but she isn't all that keen on getting oral in the first place (much is my sadness). She's more in it for the male form and giving.
  4. Short version: I've kind of been there with the odd feelings. Even with just thinking of her doing things. Over time I realized I was okay with it all. Long version: It may come down to limits. You may want to honestly ask yourself what your's are. No matter what they are the point is that they aren't wrong. If you set your own limits and communicate them properly you are headed the right direction and you can cut down on the troubled feelings quite a bit (Our opinion, not really fact). In this case are you really sure you are okay with your wife giving oral. Not just a saintly blowjob but to possability of getting a real mouth fucking? If not you'll want to let her know and you guys can adjust to what you want to try...that and communicate it to the people you end up playing with. I used to be only able to handle the idea of my wife giving oral and anything more made me almost sick to my stomach. We talked about things, made our play friends aware of limits, and over time those feelings abated. Now things that used to spark odd feelings just excite me to no end.
  5. All this talk about meeting at a Pizza place might explain why every time I find myself trapped into going to Chucky Cheese's my "swingdar" is going off the charts. We did have to bring our child along with to a BBQ witha couple we were seeing but they didn't have young children. He actually made it impossible to mingle since we spent so much time trying to keep a handle on him. No playing of course that day but it was impossible to even talk and I think that day was the begining of the end for our little group. I think if we were shooting for a couple that was more akin to FWB's than anything bringing the kids wouldn't be a problem if they had some too. There is still that fantasy of finding a couple that is in the same place as us in their lives, with kids, that we would find attractive and would like us, who would love to be friends as well as lovers...everyone has their own dreams, our's just might be a bit more mudane.
  6. As far as worries about your looks go you are in the same boat as a lot of people. As everyone will tell you there really are all types in the lifestyle. Going to a meet and greet or to a club might help prove this to you. It might be a good thing to step away from the online personals and go see the reality for yourself. You'll fit right in and even if you aren't ready to play you can still go to some of those places just to people watch without being forced to do anything you aren't ready for. As far as the two of you not "wanting" the same thing that's a bit harder to straighten out but as everyone else has said it is the most crucial to making this all work. Getting on the same page should be your first move. Talk things over to make sure both of you are clear on what you are okay with and start slow....find the smallest step that you are both cool with and go looking for it. Have fun and best of luck!
  7. We love the design of the site and the added features. It has a much closer feel to a social media site than SLS. The search features are more extensive and the ability to see if people have been viewing your profile (or turning that off) is handy. They also have a huge membership in our area. That being said we rely on SLS instead of Kasidie. Mainly because they changed their free membership access to not allow you to view a single profile. We can still search and see some of the other sections but we can't look at any profiles so we're blocked from really doing anything in the end. We wrote them and asked why we can't open them while we could before and they said they changed the policy and to look at the upgrade page. Apparently paid members can see "more" profiles....How can you have more if you haven't had ANY yet??
  8. Yes, for both of us it is almost a must. The making out is almost our favorite part....almost.
  9. Recovery wasn't bad for me. Worst pain was when my 5 year old dove into my lap when he realized I was home that day after the surgery. Still a little discomfort from time to time; totally randomly. I loved "the talk" beforehand with the doctor about how a vasectomy will not solve marital problems. Who on earth thinks that would happen? "Hey hubby, you're kind of a ass but I hear a Vasectomy will fix that"
  10. If either of us sees a someone that would match our type we tend to bring it to the other's attention. A couple weeks ago I (Mr. Ycc) met up with a couple of our friends (vanilla friends, since we don't have any real life swinger friends since we moved) at a local bar and a couple that had never joined the group before but knew one of the couples showed up. I stopped midsentence when I saw the husband and turned to one of the wives who knows our little secret and said "Oh no, who is that and how can I become friends with him because is going to go gaga over him". Not 30 minutes later my wife showed up took one look at the husband and couldn't look his direction again because she would totally blush when she did. Every time she caught my eye I would laugh at her and give a knowing wink. I love teasing her about it when she sees someone she likes and I love being able to spot them. We don't tend to talk about women we see since as a male my "type" is quite a bit broader. I never mention anyone at work since I work so far from home it might get the wheels turning in her head that might be messing around. Which I'm not.
  11. Mr: IT Consultant Mrs: Homemaker (Child care, party planner, maid, cook, and all-together domestic goddess)
  12. Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series wasn't really swinging either but there were some hot moments...though a lot of it seemed as if written to see how over the top the sex could be. Would love to find a good novel (romance or fantasy) that had some good group sex in it that didn't also end badly or get over the top gross.
  13. Thank you, we've always quesitoned that but never had the guts to admit thinking it. Present company excluded of course. On that note I feel I married up too so I can't complain. I just got through complaining about the lack of guy pictures on another thread. Maybe 1 in 30 profiles in our area has anything on the male half in the couple's profile. Admittedly our's is lacking right now in shots of myself but we went from having a bunch to taking anything with our faces down from SLS outside of our private folder. It has gotten to the point where my wife pretty much refuses to even look at a profile unless we have seen a face shot of the guy as 99% of the guys in our area haven't been even close to her type (face-wise).
  14. Olderyder makes a good point on the whole "4 way connection". It doesn't help if only 3 out of the 4 feel an attraction unless the last holdout feels like taking one for the team. Our biggest hurdle is finding a male from a couple that my wife would find attractive. I would have to say she isn't picky as she could find loads (no pun intended) of guys just walking through costco that would work but it seems like none of those people are on SLS. Most couples don't post a single picture of the male half in their profiles and making the effort to contact them and then having to tell them after that their was no attraction just sucks for all of us. The few couples that post pictures of their husbands seem to also take shots where the guy looks like he is trying to show how bad ass he is. God forbid someone smile in their picture. (*Goes to look at his own profile and sticks foot in mouth*) Attraction is a tricky thing. What one woman wants another hates. I'm sure as many people have turned us down due to my looks as we have turned down ourselves. Try some different pictures in your profile to show him off as a start. Maybe post them here and we can all approve them for you.
  15. Exactly, I have a blast just pleasing her and seeing her pleased. She still thinks I allow those just to satisfy her fantasy but in reality the whole thing has grown on me. She must have been using subliminal messages in my sleep to make me prefer them over FMF's. And thanks for the compliment.
×
×
  • Create New...