Jump to content

trinigemini

Registered
  • Content Count

    15
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About trinigemini

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/20/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    florida

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. I think you are very wrong to be upset. My Future Hubby and I have not swung as yet. Mainly because I am afraid of the situations like you just mentioned. Your husband trusted you to obey the rules and you broke them...you broke his trust....I also agree with the other post....you act like a baby with your candy taken away. Your husband is suppossed to be the most important part of any of your relationships.....I'm surprised he even lets you still hang out with the other couple....I know if it was me I would not have anything to do with them ever again....of course that because I have my own insecurity issues.....all I can say is think about it from his perspective...what if it was the other way around....would you have been fine with him eating out the wife upstairs while you waited in the car for him....trusting that he wouldnt do anything you didnt want him too....I'm not at the point in my relationship as yet where I can handle seeing my man fuck another woman.....I doubt I ever will be...
  2. Oh and the only similar interest I care about is sexual preferences.....I just dont want to get involved with other people.
  3. Hi, FH and I have not joined the swinging lifestyle as yet...however I agree with you....there is no need for friendship....if we do this it would be for sex...I'm not interested in emotional connections and all the trouble that goes wth it. And I do believe there is trouble....if your wife needs to make connections with the men she fucks then who is to say that love won't be her next stop. And I don't know about you but the idea of my FH loving another woman drives me crazy. I think I would rather hire a hooker to play than deal with emotional connections....this way I at least know she is there for sex and nothing else..no worries. but then again...like I said we havent swung yet.....although FH seems to be the type to want friends...I already told him if we ever did swing there would be no exchanging of numbers or emails or Iming afterwards.....strictly fuck them and then leave them....no reason for anything else as far as I'm concerned.
  4. I just wanted to thank everyone again for all their help......FH and I will not be swinging anytime soon...we are going to give it some time.....I need to learn to trust him and know that he loves me....I also know I need to get a better handle on what that entails. FH is a wonderful man but I think I will lose him if I dont get my jealousy under control (not talking about just swinging here....have been going crazy everytime some woman calls him....he has alot of women friends...and while I dontget mad and yell at him he knows it bothers me greatly.....I just dont understand why they feel the need to call him with all their problems...he has very whiny friends) So in case I dont respond to anything else on the board(.....due to the fact that you guys have already helped me so much and I dont think there is anything else that I need to say as you all now know fears I have and I think everythings else that has been bothering me little about my relationship.....) I will still be reading and I will respond if needed. Now I just need to work on me and my insecurities and jealousy...I hate it that I'm so jealous. Happy New Years
  5. Iapr I agree with you. Monogamy is not something that needs getting over.....lots of people love it and want it.....my problem is that I never did....until now.....I also think that FH and I need to improve our relationship and that I need to learn to trust him before we even consider swinging...and you're right that it will take time....I also think Intuition is right and I am a love junkie....I grew up reading those crappy romance novels and as much as know real love is not really like that.....since this ismy first time in love....i think i need to figure out what it really entails. And i know some of you may be asking why get married if I dont trust him cause isnt love and tust go handin hand....the answer I will give is really very simple....in all my past realationships one man was never enough there was always something missing and I always needed someone else....there has also been no other man who I even considered for a minute spending the rest of my life with....with FH i envision a future and for the first tiime I don't have a back up plan or any planned ways out. There are no longer men waiting for me outside of my relationship....and that scares me and thrills me at the same time. And right now I am not willing to share him....although I may have to stick around on this board just because of the great relationship advice I've been given.
  6. Intuit I dont get the feel that you are bitchy at all. And this forum has put a few things in perspective for meand given memuch to think about. You asked if he did the whole napkin thing with another woman If I feel it would diminsh the way I think he feels about me......and I have to say yes......I mean the things he does for me are not in themselves important.....but it is the reason behind why he does them that is. So for instance I know when he does the napkin thing its to make me feel special and cared for....so YES it for me it would diminish its meaning...(I told you I am getting crazy) If he does it for every woman that means he wants them all to feel special and cared for....so what makes me different from them? And getting emotionally attached to someone we swing with would probably be the worst thing he could possible do. ANd its a real concern cause he is super friendly to eveeryone....he even invited a photographer that came over just to take soem quick pics of him to come back and hang out sometime.....he makes connections to everyone and I tend to be more antisocial.....before him i was quite content to just be around my dog all day and never let anyone to far in.....I have friends dont get me wrong but I am not the clingy type...at least not usually....I dont call them as soon as I have a problem and start whining....I just have ALOT to get over before we even go near swinging....although neither of us are adverse to the idea of having sex with each other in front of other people.
  7. Intuitions post did not go over my head....while in my current relationship I am scared of swinging it has not always been so...I have fuck buddies who I did not care were fucking other women. I can am fully capable of understanding intuition. While I agree with the post which say I should not do swinging right now I dont think that most of the advice I received is beyond me. And I definitly have to get over the whole monogamous thing but I agree that it will take time for me to trust my FH that he does love me and that the women he fucks ae just that ...fuck toys.....no more important to him than a dildo is to me. I have no intention and never did about having swinging friends.....it would be more just casual sex....no attachments no phone numbers exchanged.....nothing but sex and then goodbyes.
  8. I guess I may have given some of you the wrong idea of my FH. He is not pushing swinging. I mean it is something that he has done in the past and would do again....but in no way is he forcing me to do it. I guess this all just came up recently when we were looking at honeymoon places....I suggested hedonism....I was my idea.....at the time it seemed likea great one...I've always loved the idea of swinging and just assumed thaT i would be Alright with it. However it was after he started thinking about it too that I got squemish....to me swinging was all good in my head when he was all mine with people added who were also just into me.....but the thought of him with anyone else drives me crazy....Now i know its not fair...but it the way I am feeling now.....FH has consistently said that swinging is not something that we need to do.......so this whole thing is really just about me...I guess I am tryingto understand myself.....how can I be OK with swinging or the idea of it for such a long time,.....and now that I have found a guy who is willing to do so let it drive me crazy with jelaousy...its true i have never loved anyone the way I love FH and I think I'm scared of losing him...whereas with other men I didnt really care If i lost them in the process. FH is a great man and he does love me.....most days I know this.....however I seem to be very Insecure and need reassurance all the time.....now to show how ridiculous I am being ...because I am......FH is the kind of guy who makes me dinner every night, and before he sits pulls out my chair, places my napkin on my lap and kisses me.......EVERY TIME. He also tries his best to fullfill my every need....I'm in school and last summer he paid for my tuition (wasnt covered by my scholarship or financial aid), he takes me on vacations (our fourth date was to the bahamas) He loves my dog as much as I do and treats her so wonderfully(very big deal to me), he entertains my friends and all in all is just a fabulous man,very sweet and thoughtful) NO the problem in our relationship is ALL me. I dontwant him treating anyone else the way he treats me....it would make it not special anymore. I am not used to this....or the feelings I am having....FH tries his best to make me happy. I am on this board to try and figure outmy own malfunctions so that hopefully oneday I will get over my insecurities and be able to fulfill FH fantasy without breaking my heart. I've been reading forums and have received from very good advice myself.....I just dont know that it will ever turn me on to see the man of my dreams fuck another woman.....I may get to the point where it does not kill me....but enjoy it I doubt very much.
  9. Thank You so Much....Intuition you have given me alot to think about. And you can be sure I will. I have tried speaking to FH about this stuff but he seems to get annoyed by the questions and defensive. Its kind of why I turned here. I think one of my problems is that i don't truly believe that he loves me. I have other men In my life that truly do love me and I know they do because I have been with them for many many years. I think with FH things moved so fast that i no longer know what to believe. We've known each other for a little more than a year. We actually met after hurricane wilma. We had been talking online for about 5 months and I finally had time to meet him. He was the most romantic man I've ever met......but now I find myself asking how much of what he did for me he did for other women, I fell in love with the romance and I'm just afraid that seeing himbe like that with other women will just take that away from me. For instance he says I love you to so many people that when he says it to me it just does not mean much. It means more when he does sweet things....but does the meaning diminish knowing hes done them for others and its just his way....I know these are only questions that I can answer...but to be honest posting here has helped me to access some things i dont think I would have otherwise. I guess i should also say that I have grown up in a very dysfunctional family and have always had a problem with "LOVE". I've treated men like toys using them when i see fit and then disregarding them without a thought. Maybe this whole thing is payback ....bad Karma....my insecurities I mean ...not swinging is bad. i do think we will get into it one day. I just think I need to truly feel he loves me first. So I dont think I will disappear from this board as has been suggested. Most of my sexual fantasies involve more than one person.....so I dont think I can say for sure that swinging will neve be my thing. I just think I personally have issues that have to be dealt with.
  10. I think I have to agree with you all....I always thought swinging would be something I would be into...I even used to joke with my fuck buddies that if I ever got married the guy would have to be into swinging. I can't believe I no longer think I can handle it. I also believe it all stems from my own insecurities. Do you think it could be that in general I dont get along well with other women so the thought of allowing one into the most intimate of my moments is unnerving? Allmy closest friends have always been men and even though I have close girlfriends...they tend to act more like guys. My FH has alot of women friends and they all seem so needy and winey to me...always calling him up crying and complaining....puts me off women even more. I have no problem introducing another guy into the picture though....I know its selfish and I would never expect FH to allow me that pleasure while denying him his. Oh we are getting married MArch 3rd, 2007. I know its soon. The only reason I have not let this totally freak me out is because he says we never have to do it....and I am the one who brings it up and brought it up recently as we were looking for honeymoon spots. (I suggested hedonism.....then started freaking when he was actually considering it.) At the same time I got totally turned on that night when we were having sex and he was talking about doing a threesome. I think I am just moving too fast...its my nature...I tend to overthink and overanalyze things way too much way too fast. As soon as a thought pops into my head I automatically take it to the final point and usually the worst possible scenario.
  11. I am new to this whole thing. Never really swung before. FH is definitely into it and has done it before. I'm not sure how I will handle certain things and was hoping to get some incite. One of the things I've been thinking about recently is what happens after the swing. I mean how can I kiss my husband knowing he was just kissing another woman or even worse eating her out? (I must tell you that in the past I have refuse to even consider rekindling relationships with someone because they kissed another woman after we broke up....just because I didn't think I would be able to deal with it.) And how am I suppossed to feel knowing my husband was just intimate with someone else? Also how can I feel attractive knowing that I'm not enough for him and that he finds other women attractive enough to fuck? (I always thought that once you find that special someone you don't need anyone else.....I have no problems with him looking at other women but I thought he should only want to sleep with me.) How can he stand to see me fucking other men? Do I mean nothing to him? I want to know how other couples have handled these issues because to me they seem like major issues that could destroy our new marriage. And should I even go through with the wedding knowing that even if we never swing it's what he wants to do? He said we never have to swing If I dont want to ...but should I prevent him from being happy?
×
×
  • Create New...