Maybe I can shed some light on how your wife probably feels. I see you have a couple of small children. Right now they are probably at the stage where they are just taking everything out of her and swinging right now is just one more "JOB" that is layed on her plate. My husband and I have been down that road. We're together 15 years and we reached a point where all it seemed that my husband wanted was to be selfish. I did everything around the house, I took care of the kids, I went to work. He basically just slept, went out the door to go to work, ate and repeated everything the next day. So the sex thing to me became just another "JOB" that I was "stuck " doing everyday. And no I am not some frigid, stiff bitch. I was a swinger from age 19 on. (I'm 43) I absolutely love good nasty sex everyway you can imagine. But when selfishness rears it's ugly head in one partner, you can bet the other partner is gonna retaliate in the one area that they know they can hit the other partner the most, ussually sex. My advise to you is get back to your roots. Focus on your family and forget being selfish, make a personal sacrifice for one year, make your kids and wife your #1 priority and you will see a major turnaround in both your life and hers and your kids. If after one year you don't see a change and you truely want more. Get a divorce, that way you won't hurt anyone. I hope you all work it out, if not at least you tried.