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JustFun

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About JustFun

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    Couple
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  1. Where do like to cum (or be came on) while at a club or with another couple?
  2. You guys are right. I think I'm dwelling it on it so much though in an effort to spice things up, make things fun again. If I take swinging out of the picture there are still problems that bother me. We never get time to ourselves anymore. Her parents want to do stuff every weekend, we work for them too, both of us, even now. Her and her mom talk a lot every day. We are either at work, or we have kids, we never have time away from them. I guess I just wish we could be more independant and have more time for us. It never changes no matter how much we talk and agree it needs to. I just feel stuck surviving. She is very easily excited about thinking about what we can do or get for the kids all the time. They have way too many toys and the house is is very cluttered. I wish we could stop getting them so much crap. I wish she could put some of that time into us. She has a very much attitude that we just gotta do what we gotta do for work and kids all the time. Her parents put her through hell at work all the time and she gets very cranky. That'll never change. She has an attitude about that, just says nothing she can do about it. We've been to counseling before, and the counselour quickly just asked us why we were even there, seemed like we got along great. We're very private people and sharing our personal matters with strangers is tough for us. We recognize problems all the time and agree on how to handle them, but never does it actually change. Swinging has just been the problem this last year or so, but this same type of thing has happened to us repeatedly throughout the entire time we've known each other. Often over different things. I think the only problem that has always been there is that she can't seem to break away from her family enough to be independant. They are very opinionated and judgemental people and I get really tired of hearing about it all the time. She flip-flops on that all the time. Sometime she sees them for who they are and it bothers her, sometimes she defends them like they're angels. When we first met she used to see the problems more, now she defends them more.
  3. I totally see your point. And I've tried it. For several months after this I was queit about it and left it alone. But occasionally out of the blue she would make comments about how she thought swingers were creepy and pushy people/etc. And it got to me, I dont beleive they are all this way. This board is proof of that. But I cant agree with your analogy. I cant see this as a sex toy on the wall or a bressel sprout. I know you're speaking figuratively and get your point but just disagree. As it is often called, I see it more of a "lifestyle". A totally different problem that some couples face (luckily not us) is one of the members of the couple wanting a career that requires them to travel and be gone a lot. This too is a lifestyle preference. I wholeheartedly agree with the thinking that the relationship is worth more then this. At least we dont have this problem. But I can at least understand how the person would be unhappy in their life if that's something that was really important to them. To me, that's just a difference in people and it's OK that others wish to do this. This is also no different then being gay. That too is a lifestyle preference. What I'm wanting in comprimise is something we know we already enjoyed together. We did the webcam thing and it was very exciting. We had great sex during and after. I know she had fun. This was with this same couple early on and we actually enjoyed giving the show more then watching it. Same room sex just boils down to live porn, with one important difference. You're part of the show. And it's that which excites me so much. The biggest problem I think she has with this is she is afraid that this will just make me want more then this all the more. But truth is when we were talking to that other couple she was actually going farther with it faster then me and it made me have uncomfortable feelings too. I guess what I'm trying to say is I know I can promise her a no touch rule and truly be happy with it.
  4. Well that's why we split up - we had a fight about swinging and I went to my mothers. But yea we've realized there's other problems and have talked about them and I feel better about them but I still feel uneasy about not being able to make a comprimise sexually. This has always been a very strong interest of mine. Yes it would have been better if I had made this more clear before we got married but it's too late for that. I wasnt confident enough about expressing these feelings then and I am now.
  5. Well we've been split up for a week now, I've been staying at my mothers for the past week. I just really wish she'd accept a tamer comprimise, such as webcamming or same room sex. I've told her that we dont HAVE to touch other people, but she is unwilling to consider this either.
  6. I talked to her last night and showed her the thread. She said she doesn't want to talk about it here because it's no way to deal with problems. Also said that she just wished I would go find someone else to do with it (in otherwords leave her). I told her I didn't want that and I just wanted to talk about it. I asked her about why she didnt want to and she said she just didnt find it interesting and found it gross. Overall I just felt more guilty about talking about it again and although we didnt get into a fight I really got the impression she rather I had not brought it up again.
  7. ANGEDKY(mr): I've always had fantasies of being with multiple people at a time. So does everyone else (mostly) I guess, but I just cant stop wanting a threesome or the like. It's not really about variety, as to me straight sex with one person is the same with another. I'm mainly interested in activities that are not possible with just one other person. ohash01: That's just it. I try to keep it a fantasy but while I am sitting there fantasizing my desire for it to be real kicks in and doesn't stop. It happens almost every time and then I have this depressing feeling of being alone (in my desires) and guilt (for still wanting something my wife doesn't want).
  8. You're right.. Bringing it up at all.. I think she thinks I am trying to argue for it again, which I admit I did really try hard to convince her. The problem is a day doesnt go by that I don't think about it, it's very hard for me. Her reasons for not wanting to do it has been mainly "I don't wan't to, you can't force me to, I don't have to explain to you why I don't want to". Also at other times she has expressed concern about her being nervous of how she looks to other people, but I don't see why that has to be a show stopper. I find her very attractive, certainly my boner agrees with this! I cannot see why there isn't people out there who would find her as attractive as I do (infact she is Very beautiful), and who would be much more respectful to us and our relationship.
  9. It's been quite a few months. We never actually touched another couple. We played "Strip Go Fish" since that was the card game everyone knew. The truth is we were not very attracted to the other couple anyway. We opened up to them though because at first they seemed very friendly and personality made up for looks as we were seeming to become friends. But if we had the chance to do it over again I don't think we would have gotten to know this couple very well in the first place.
  10. Well we've definately already stopped. If I even mention this to her at all it starts a fight. The last time I brought it up I simply shared a fantasy idea with her and she got upset and asked me "We're not going to go through this again are we?". I really do think it was this couple that scared her away, but she doesnt use them as a reason against it. To her it's more like it's just not proper to do this. To the point that anyone who chooses to do it is a nutcase, in her opinion. She had allowed herself to enjoy it for a little while and then clammed up right after the other guy was being a total jerk. The problem I have is everyone here seems to think it's just easy to give this up if the other person isnt interested. I don't understand how this is any different from being gay. If this is your sexual preference then so be it, good for you. Can you expect someone else to be like you if they're not? No, of course not. But why is it OK for someone else to expect you to not be this way and that be OK? Honestly, expecting a person to not be interested in swinging when they are is no different then a social conservative expecting gay people not to be gay, in my opinion. I have the right to feel this way and I dont want to stop. I know I can't expect my wife to join me but at the same time I feel like she doesn't love me the same way I love her because she can't accept me for who I am.
  11. Hello, my wife has made it clear she doesn't want to try swinging anymore. We did have a short time that she was interested in it too and it seemed like she was really enjoying herself. But the couple we are with was too pushy and that scared her away from the entire thing. Since then I've tried to convince her to try again but it failed miserably and I know now it's not a good idea to try again anytime soon. But, what now? I constantly have feelings of wanting to do this and I don't know what to do about them. I don't want to stop wanting to do this. What do I do now?
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