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jsnps

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jsnps last won the day on May 11 2009

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About jsnps

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday February 3

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    KS
  • Occupation
    computer related
  1. We sometime play together but we have pretty strict rules about doing so: 1) We must meet/get to know the other person(s) so they know that hubby and I are both ok with it and we both have a chance to veto a potential play partner. These are people we have built a rapport with - NEVER anyone we just pick up at a bar or see once and take home... 2) We only play with others who are single or truly doing so w/their S.O.'s consent - no cheating. 3) We do not spend the night with others - we come home to our spouse 4) Always safe sex - no exceptions 5) Only those who we are really close with come to our home - and that activity happens only in certain parts of the house (i.e. not our bed) 6) Everything must be discussed before it happens, unless it is someone that he/I have been involved with for a long time. (i.e. they are play partners and we habitually go out with him/her/them and it is understood something sexual may/may not happen - based on history, naturally everyone is ok with that). 7) We share every aspect of the experience with our spouse when we return home - we have no secrets. 8) Everything else is a case by case basis - to be discussed beforehand. * We even have a very simple, yet well defined phone/text message system in place so that we can make sure not to come home and interrupt a potential coupling (should one partner decide to entertain someone in our home). This does not happen with any regularity or frequency. In fact, we've set a limit of not more than two times a month so that there is no chance of taking away anything from our relationship. We have these rules to keep anyone from getting hurt and really everything is a case by case basis. As others have said, it is current play partners or close friends that we consider this with, not just anyone off the street. I'm actually kind of surprised by the number of people who play solo. I figured more people would be opposed to it...
  2. Yes, I'm on the ortho evra patch and my obgyn has me doing the same "every third month" pattern due to my severe endometriosis. I hope they won't find out several years from now that this is bad for the body. I sure do love the convenience... Catherine, I'm so sorry for you that this happened. As others have said, there is the remote chance that it is your husband's baby. I think it is wonderful that you have decided to have the baby, I have no idea what I'd do under the same circumstances. Best of luck to you, your husband and your baby... Mrs. JP
  3. Count us in! We're 26 (f) and 27 (m). Mrs. JP
  4. I agree with what Mr. DBStPete said. They are very rare and take an immense amount of trust, consideration and communication. The last paragraph is particularly important because it is how my husband and I feel about each other. We have just began to entertain the idea of an open marriage and we have established some boundaries, just as we did when we entertained the idea of swinging for the first time. We always communicate about the encounter, before it happens. We need to have at least met the person, if they are local, before anything happens. (if they aren't, the likelihood of seeing them again is pretty nil). It is about carnal pleasure, not emotional fulfillment. If it begins to become an emotional attachment, we reevaluate our priorities or break it off with that person - this is still something we do for each other, just like swinging. We allow these actions for the other person's pleasure / sexual fulfillment because we believe that experiences outside of the marriage can truly enhance our marriage and our sex life if approached correctly. We also believe that you can not truly possess another person - the effort to do so often leads to deceit and infidelity. We agreed that after the encounter, we always share the experience with each other. For me, it took a long time to get to this point. As a female, who had been cheated on (not by my husband) and who watched her parents divorce over infidelity, it took a long time to arrive here at this point. My husband respects me in the utmost fashion - in fact, the swinging and the open marriage were both my suggestions. Neither are things we do often as we believe in quality as opposed to quantity. We make sure the choices we make build up, not tear down. It took me four years to learn to trust my husband, to not think he would cheat on me. He shares a lot of characteristics with my biological father (intelligence, interests, etc.) and I just got out of a REALLY bad breakup before we met. Swinging actually helped to solidify the trust I place in him. Just as swinging is not for everyone, neither is open marriage. It's not good or bad, just something you have to be able to accept in totality before committing to it. Some people can never get their heads around it and there is nothing wrong with that either. People should always move at the pace of the slowest person in the partnership and do what feels right to both parties. For us, an open marriage works. For us it requires the ultimate level of trust. Mrs. JP
  5. As long as their is no impropriety on the job, what is done in your private life is simply that, private. They have no legal right to demote you, cut your pay or force you out without your ability to claim harrassment. I would check into another lawyer or many until I at least got a general concensus that may case was not going to stand a chance. I would then talk to some organizations that help with harrassment such as the civil liberties union. I think I would see what chance you have of winning the case, first and foremost. I'd also start looking for a new job - even if you could go back, why would you want to? That seems like a horrible environment to be in. Either way, no matter what you do, best of luck. Mrs. JP
  6. First off, Amen to Elusive Bi Fem who said it eloquently>>> While I can appreciate your opinion, I personally believe you may want to reassess what you are using to place value on people. There are many delightful and lower income individuals and many wealthy boors. Secondly, my own opinion >>> I lived the first part of my life in a trailer and the school years in middle class / upper middle class families. My parents divorced and remarried at an early age and I was exposed to different lifestyles. As a 26 year old who lives at a level equal to that of most twice her age - I have no issues with the rich, nor do I shun those who share my humble upbringing. I have a Master's degree but realise that the world is full of educated idiots and derelicts. A piece of paper signifies less to me than a broad display of intellect. Appreciation of the "finer" things in life is fine. I love art - especially impression and post impressionist works. I love the cubist movement and latin / cajun influences in modern art. I love mexican muralists and photography. However, I feel just as comfortable in the little cabin on the top of a mountain in Arkansas where my 90 some year old great-grandparents live. I love it when they get out the guitars and the banjos and start playing bluegrass. I think the true measure of a person is how well they can adapt to whatever situation they might be in. I can hang with the best of them in whatever demographic they might happen to be in. My life is richer for having been a chamaeleon of sorts and I wouldn't change a bit of it. It makes me who I am...
  7. Amen. My step-mother's father is one of those boat shoes and duck tape kind of guys. A man worth multi-millions that made his money by starting his own business and being savy. He drove a car with the driver side floor completely rusted out for years. You could see the pavement through the floor in spots. The family finally talked him into buying a new one. He paid cash for almost everything and his clothes and lifestyle would never indicate he was well off... You can't be fooled by the wrapper...
  8. To me cheating is simply dishonesty. I think VegasLee summed it up pretty well. Mrs. JP
  9. My husband's x-girlfriend called him after we had been dating for five months to inform him that she had genital warts. That is the only person I have ever known to have an STD. Right after that call we both went to be tested and have been tested since then. Neither of us has come up positive for any STD. We have had on FMF experience and hubby used a condom with our lady friend. I think many people have good points concerning the statistics. I think as a rule swingers / those in the lifestyle are generally more conscientious, careful, selective, etc. than others might be. You would think though that as many people are on the board at least one or two people would have had an STD at some point. Perhaps we are all just really careful or perhaps those that do are just too shy, embarrassed or unwilling to reply in the affirmative...
  10. You said: "I guess I have realized that I can fantasize but love my partner too much to share her" I say: I love my husband enough to share him. It takes a great amount of love, respect and trust to be involved in this lifestyle and only those people who truly have the most solid foundations can partake in these types of activies, without adverse consequences. It takes honest communication and mutual love and respect to be in the lifestyle. To us, it isn't about "servicing" or "getting serviced" - it is about adding another element to our sexual relationship and it is about sharing another type of experience together. We are good friends with a lady that we are involved with sexually. We met her during normal activities we are involved in - not on a website or at a club - over time our friendship progressed into a sexual relationship. My husband and I both get something out of it - I get to play with a female (which he obviously couldn't provide by himself) and he gets to have two women who's company he can enjoy (and as good as I am, I can't be in two places at once). Our friend gets the benefit of a man and a woman pleasuring her at the same time. It is a mutually beneficial relationship for everyone involved and no one is being "used" or "serviced" or "prostituted". The whole experience has brought my husband and I closer together and we are communicating better than we ever have.
  11. First off, hello to everyone. I'm not too new here (been reading posts since Feb.) I finally decided to reply My husband and I just had our first experience recently. It was good but not outstanding. After several months on a pay site and a few meetings that didn't pan out: we finally got up the nerve and asked a mutual friend. We felt that she was attracted to both of us, asked if she'd be interested and she said yes. The first time we got together we were all kind of nervous and were just mainly getting the hang of keeping everyone involved. Last weekend we met with her again for the second time and things were much more relaxed - no one felt left out. I must admit watching hubby with someone else for the first time was kind of strange (a mix of emotions: erotic but wierd). However, the second go 'round seemed much more natural. She and I really get along well, we have a lot in common and she is a wonderful lady so that bond really helped us talk to through the awkwardness...
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