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oddcouple2841

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About oddcouple2841

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Linton, IN
  • Interests
    computers
  • Occupation
    K - Technician, S - Homemaker
  • Swinging Experience
    Just getting started

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    lntncpl
  • Favorite Club(s)
    none yet
  1. How many here have read Heinlein's JOB: A Comedy of Justice and Stranger in a Strange Land and did they affect your beliefs? Looking through the old posts I find some discussion and here seems like a good place to reopen it. I will have to say the he really affected my thoughts and opened my eyes to things I felt but had not really thought about. This seems especially poignant on the eve of Saturnalia (AKA Christmas).
  2. It seems to me that you're getting upset because you asked a question and the answers aren't what your looking for. People on here are giving you their honest opinions and you're taking offense to them. If you don't like what you hear, then don't ask the questions. It's that simple. I agree with the idea of having a dinner together. That would take the pressure off and it would be ice breaker. A couple drinks would be good, but don't get completely drunk off your ass would not be. There would be a possibility that the 4 of you would regret what you did and take a chance of losing the friendship. I doubt you would want that unless you frankly could care less, then you guys weren't friends to begin with. It would just prove you were out to get what you want and not what your gf wanted. I suggest that you think long and hard about what you want and what your gf wants. I would talk to your gf and see what she really wants and listen to her. If you are doing this to get your kicks, then I suggest both of you just move on. It will come back and bite you in the ass later. Mrs
  3. It is a worry for us also. My dear old dad is almost eighty and ma is in her mid seventies. S's parents are in their sixties and very straight laced. My ma has had a hard time accepting my having a 28 y.o. SO. She thinks S will drop me as soon as someone better and closer to her own age comes along. Dad is pretty open and accepting, hell back in the seventies he had magazines much "harder" than Playboy or Penthouse. My siblings are very open minded and I think would be okay with us and S does not have any. My son who is a teen would probably be accepting but the problems it could cause him with the other teens might not be so pleasent. You how mean and closed minded kids can be.
  4. This is K I like alcohol and I like women but give me enough alcohol and get me horizontal and I will probably just go to sleep on ya. The case may be same for your GFs. Alcohol usually does not make for the best sex. A couple of drinks to loosen things up is great, much more though and people often do and say things they regret in the morning. (or like me just drift off to sleep at the first rest break ) BTW what the heck if the facination with watching two girls together? Perhaps you are thinking more along the lines of an orgy? Maybe you should just suggest that.
  5. I am very sorry to hear about what happened with your son. Both my mother and S had a sibling that died at birth. If you survived such a tramatic event as having a child die then you can survive this together if the "bj" incident was the real problem. I also believe in the case of relationship trouble there sometimes is a sixth stage and that would be taking what you have learned / experienced and using it to create a better and stronger bond with a more realistic picture and expectations of eachother or deceiding that it is best to go your separate ways. I have a feeling that there were already problems in your relationship and that either you were denying (that is what I did) or perhaps simply not fully acknowledging or perhaps just not posting here. I get the feeling that this blowup is not about a bj, that the incident was just the straw that broke the camel's back. On the possibility that the "bj" incident was the only problem or even the trigger event, once one has accepted that sex does not equal love things get a lot easier. Pehaps we are conditioned from birth to equate the two but even a quick study will refute the reality of this. If you both ever come to accept that sex does not equal love then and only then you might be ready to try swinging albeit with someone niether of you is involved with outside of swinging. If you need someone to talk to we are here. Our yahoo is the same as our handle here and we are always glad to try to help if we can. K
  6. This is K, I am not a pyscologist but I have been though a situation similar to what fun4usnh seems to be experienceing now so I will through my two cents worth in to try to help. fun4usnh, you are not crazy and you are not sinking. Believe me I lived through this. I know all too well that nausiating emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Wanting so bad to do something to alter the situation or reality. In the end there is only acceptance and that may be some time away. IMO this occures when we build a picture or concept of what we want someone to be and accept that as the reality. If something happens to destroy this imaginary image of the person we have created the whole thing comes crashing down like a house of cards. Believe me the destruction of this image you have created of your wife is just as bad as if she herself had died. You have an advantage I did not have back in the 1990's. You can reach out on the internet to people that understand and have lived through what you are going through right now. You can find lot's of helpful information. Please take some time to take a look at this, and see where you fit right now and you can see what to expect in the future. Trust me, there is an excellent chance you will go through every one of these stages. Note: these were origianlly written about death but they apply to many more situations than just your own death or the death of a loved one. Also every person does not necessarily follow them in order except for #5 1. Denial - The "This can't be real" stage.: "This is not happening to me." "There must be a mistake" 2. Anger - The "Why me?" stage.: "How dare you do this to me?!" (either referring to God, the late person, or themselves) 3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage.: "Just let me live to see my son graduate." 4. Depression - The "Defeated" stage.: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this." 5. Acceptance - The "This is going to happen" stage.: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore." Don't try to rush the stages but do try to limit the damage you cause to the relationship while going through them. In the end acceptance will come, that image in your head will go away and then you can start building a more realistic image of your wife in your head. Read more about the 5 stages of grief here Hope this helps, K
  7. We set an upper age limit of 50 but if a couple that was older contacted us we would not ignore them or automatically reject them out of hand. Like those who don't quite qualify at our lower limit of 25 we can allow exceptions based upon the individuals that make up the couple. Older couples have a lot to offer besides sex like SouthBond said - (he should have also added - well versed in English grammer and spelling ) You would not believe how many of those under 30 that we have received email from that is almost unreadable. In the end I hope every couple of every age finds what they are looking for. Heck, I am not that far from fifty myself.
  8. We were in a situation that was similar but different. S was forced to tell me she had been blowing a customer on a pretty regular basis. I knew something was wrong but had ignored it. She was sure I would throw her out and never speak to her again, as you can see this is not what happened. My question would be that if the situation had been reversed, say the man had went upstaires and passed out and you had went back in to kiss the wife goodnight and your wife had walked up to the window and seen the lady giving you a bj, what would her reaction have been? I suspect she felt that you would be okay with it or she would not have done it knowing that you would likely come to check on her. I understand your feeling, trust me I do. You believe she violated your trust and perhaps you fear that she may be developing an emotional attatchent at work. I remember from your early posts that the situation seemed to be going okay and you were positive about it. Your ego was probably already a bit bruised from the other wife going off to bed instead of being interested enough to stay up and play with you or maybe you were just agitated about the way the evening had turned out. Perhaps after cooling off some and a lot of talking, that trust can be rebuilt. Hopefully by the time you read this the alcohol and some of the shock and anger will have worn off. It is a new day so putting last night behind you and moving forward in a positive way would be a perfect way to start it.
  9. We chose oddcouple because of our age difference and if you ran into us on the street you might think we are mismatched. i.e. she is young, has tattoos, likes Rob Zombie, etc. K is older, pretty clean cut and seems like your average middle aged guy. We also put our ages in our screen name, S is 28, K is 41. I know that the signature & avatar are not listed in this thread but we believe that fairness and equality are very important, hence the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" quote and the "Fly United" Avatar which could be geese is from a tee shirt that K remembers seeing people wearing in his junior high days. Now that was a long long time ago
  10. We haven't had the opportunity to play yet but the MFM is a good possibility. We have met a few nice, solo males nearby that are open to "bi" as well as straight play. I think there are a lot of reasons that MFM (or MMF ) are easier to get into. Here are some below #1 There are so many solo males and their opportunities are often limited but their numbers really expand a couple's possible play dates. #2 We have found that many we have talked to are more open minded or at least honest about it than the male half of a couple who may be curious but fears what his female partner will think of him. #3 You have only one other person's schedule to deal with and solo males can often drop everything for a meeting. #4 One less person to "click with" as opposed to two couples needing to get four people to hit it off.
  11. I feel I should qualify the statement above from my own experience and point of view. I personally know the pain a cheating partner can cause and believe me it is not just about the sex. My ex wife did this back in 95 - 96 and I have still not fully recovered. My son has grown up going back and forth between two houses because of this. We have not had the financial resources to provide him with as much as we could of had if we were still working as a team. Lots of anger and recrimination and every relationship I have been in since that ugly specter hangs like a cloud preventing me from ever completely trusting anyone ever again. I never, ever, ever want to be party to causing the kind of hurt I have experienced to anyone and especially to the inocent partner and childeren of a cheating spouse. Sex no matter how good is not worth this price. Cheating also hurts more than the partner, it's reach also takes in the family, reletives and freinds of the cheater. I put in the "we very well may tell on you." part because this is what a cheater fears the most, exposure. Once out in the open they can no longer have thier cake and eat it too. Hopefully it will make someone cheating on thier spouse think twice about cheating on us with a false ad and misrepresenting themselves!
  12. I think it is related to a very natural instinctive fear. I myself have thought long and hard on this one. Picturing S going off alone with another caucasion male or even feeling that she is giving one excessive attention gives me that feeling in the pit of my stomach (you know the one) while thinking of her alone with another couple is not so accute. Thinking of her going off alone to meet another woman does not produce this feeling at all. I think that somewhere deep down inside, you like myself have a fear of your wife leaving you and since you don't believe she would leave you for a black male the threat alarms never kick in. Notice I said fear not jealousy. These are primitive instincts designed to protect us and I believe we have little control over them. I also think that this "fear" is why newbie couples look for other couples to begin with. Listening to more experienced swingers I think this fear must abate with time as trust and faith in the other partner builds to higher levels to overcome these basic instincts. I guess it is like the old adage "If you love something set it free. If it comes back, It was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with." (or you can change the last part to hunt it down and kill it whichever you prefer)
  13. We have decided that I'm going back on birth control. I was on it after I got pregnant and got off of it a year ago or so. We thought about which ones would be easy for me to go on. I would forget to take the pills, so that was out. They took norplant off the market and the patch is still up in the air about the side-effects with the women. We decided that I'm going to go back on depo. I know one of the side effects would be weight gain and no periods, but it's better than accidently getting pregnant. Mrs
  14. This is K (the male) Shelly, good post and you bring up some good issues, I do hope you are not confusing us with the guy who started this thread though. To answer your questions, we do talk a lot about it. Neither of us has had the opportunity to explore our "bi" side but we do evaluate all prospects from that angle to some degree. I have been very surprised at how many more men out there (especially in couples) are willing to admit their desire to explore sex with other males because we have made it clear in our profiles that we are both "bi curious". I believe there are even more who would like to but are afraid of how they might be judged by their partner. We have been contacted by at least two couples who's male is open to a bisexual liaison but away from the foursome because the wife doesn't' care if we do it but does not want to see it even if she intends to do the same thing with S . I believe this attitude has something to do with how women want to see their SO and more than anything else they don't want to admit to anything that might challenge this concept. It may have something to do with images we all have of gays as liking to talk and act like women and carry a purse. I assure you this is not the case with me or at least 90% of bi males out there. This stereotype does not apply to me or most men anymore than I believe you want to dress like a lumberjack and act like a man. I personally don't believe that a man lying with a man makes him less of a man anymore than I believe a woman lying with a woman makes her less of a woman. Please re read the post Bi Bias with what I have said in this post and it may give you a new perspective. As for my not being able to satisfy her I don't think there is any man in world who could completely satisfy a 27 -35 y.o. woman . I also was not really talking about a "bigger penis" as much as a heavier bodied males regardless of their package size or height. She is very short so there won't be many men who are not at least taller than her We are very open and honest about things. She, like most women I believe do, tends to be more physically attracted to larger more masculine men just like men are usually more physically attracted to more petite women. For exploring "bi" I would much prefer someone nearer my own build with a smooth body like my own. Notice I put physically in there, much can change when personality is interjected into the mix. As for the above statement I made, I think part of it is my wanting to explore beyond what I already know and perhaps a bit of fear of what someone else's lady might think of me after a romp session. There is also always the fear factor that you may do something they find offensive or perceive as "out of line" and end up in a fight with their hubby or SO. In the end I hope I don't leave you with the wrong impression. It is not that I am so afraid of women or turned off by women as I am mistrustful of most them and well satisfied with the one I already have .
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