Well that was fast

Ok so this isn't exactly related to the lifestyle directly but it is making me nervous. Things for me as of late have become let us say a little quicker in bed than I like. Now I'm not talking seconds but I'm guessing between 10ish mins after we start to have active penetration sex before I cum. To me this is to quick. If I'm on top can control the temp and last longer but she has a better orgasm while she is on top. I know the obvious answers like wear a condom and more 4 play but I'm looking for other ideas that you guys have used that work.

I think us guys put way too much emphasis on performance via time hardness or whatever. 10 minutes plus when your wife is grinding hard from on top and controlling the rhythm is just fine. You said yourself you can go longer when you get to control the rhythm. Often my wife prefers to get her first orgasm as soon as possible. Is your wife getting off before you or with you? If not you can add a vibrator on her clit if you both like. My goal with my wife is that she gets hers before or with me. Sometimes she cums lots of times before me and once in a while I cum first but then I make it up to her. Actually nothing bothers my wife more than me not cumming. If you both have fun that's what matters.

Ten minutes seems entirely reasonable. Does your wife want longer?

Ten minutes seems entirely reasonable. Does your wife want longer?

I second that question: what does she want? Personally I'm perfectly fine with 10 minutes, if I'm given 30 minutes of foreplay. Ok really, I go for the quality, not quantity. I take a good 10 minutes instead of a guy trying to pretend he's a porn star and grind away for 30 mins, leaving me dry and sore.

If you are looking to delay your orgasm, try desensitizing cream. It's better than wearing multiple condoms.

Ok so this isn't exactly related to the lifestyle directly but it is making me nervous. Things for me as of late have become let us say a little quicker in bed than I like. Now I'm not talking seconds but I'm guessing between 10ish mins after we start to have active penetration sex before I cum. To me this is to quick. If I'm on top can control the temp and last longer but she has a better orgasm while she is on top. I know the obvious answers like wear a condom and more 4 play but I'm looking for other ideas that you guys have used that work.

Does your wife have an orgasm in that time, or is that to fast for her to have one .?

You could have her give you a blowjob keep playing with her after and when you are getting hard and ready to enter her you should last longer before cumming again that might help.

10 is pretty good but if your wife, like me, enjoys 20, try MFM. Or, if she just wants 12 or so, MFM with you and a young guy.

As a female I know the liars and the exaggerator. You are not the first one to post on here about time or size for that matter. Google what is average time and you will get somewhere between 5 mins to 7 mins after penetration. That is an average. Sure there are men that hold back for as long as they want and there are men that can't. There are times I wish it were only 2 mins and there were time I wanted hours Not really hours. There are mornings that the quicky has put a smile on my face for the day. As we have gotten older, who has the energy for an never ending session and yes it does hurt after some time. Don't worry about how long you can go. Do your best to make your partner happy.

BTW average penis size is not 8".

I've found that if I'm uncomfortable in the situation I come more quickly, probably because I really want to end it. This most often happened in swapping when I sensed that the lady was not really into what we were doing. When I was with my wife, or a lady who wanted to be there as much as I did, I wanted it to go on forever and found it easy to control my orgasm. I'm not suggesting that this is your situation, only that you may want to look within your own mind for the answer.

Is this with your wife or with a new partner? I am all over the place with my wife, she knows me very well and I think she has more control over me than I have. I was concerned with plenty on our only time we played with another couple. I figure as a newbie it is normal to worry about time or erections or even size, especially when you know they have been doing this for years and have probably seen it all. I didn't watch the clock, I know I almost finished way too soon by her just starting to play but she was great. It was a friend and sensed everything. We did stop and start a few times. I think I was quicker than 10 minutes when we got down to it.

How fast you are or how big you are doesn't matter as much as how GOOD you are.

Back in my younger days I developed a lot of self control & could hover in full arousal & vaginal penetration for a very long time. Downside is not all women appreciated this. Even if they were going for multiple orgasms, 15 or 20 minutes of penile stimulation was quite enough thank you. Unless I had the very rare luck to be playing with two women this ability was really not all that. Better to develop sensitivity to the other person's needs for a quality experience.

I have no idea if this would work for anyone else. If I am in a situation where I don't want to orgasm, like a 3way, I have a method but it doesn't delay orgasm, it kinda cancels it for awhile.

Anyway, as soon as I sense my orgasm approaching, I stop, pull out and move to a position that gives my dick no stimulation. After about a minute, I can go back in. When I feel it approaching again, I repeat above process. After the third time, I am rock hard and there is no orgasm on the horizon. I can literally go until I'm physically exhausted.

I prefer to not orgasm in a group setting so this is a great method for me.

If you are making it for 10 minutes, dip it in ice water after 9 minutes........