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Missionary and From Behind - What's the trick?

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What's the trick to making a woman cum while having sex in the missionary position and from behind?

 

Seriously, she (my wife of 22 years) just can't do it most of the time (I'd say 99%). When we were younger she came pretty good by being on top of me, wrapping her legs around mine, pressing hard, and going fast. When I'm on top of her missionary style, she just can't do it. Doesn't even seem to be close. She will not tell me what I can do different even though I ask (I honestly believe that she doesn't know what I should do). Is there an angle I need to try? Is it more about the pressure I can exert while doing it? How about tips with going from behind? I've never been able to get her to cum that way.

 

I'm also afraid I won't be able to satisfy another woman that way while swinging because I can't do it with my wife? Help me!

 

Some facts: 7" long, 6" girth. Seems like I have the tools?

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It's rare that I cum during missionary position, ever. I really prefer cowgirl or reverse cowgirl where i can make adjustment on my own. And guys should not feel bad that they can't make me cum. I am perfectly happy using his tool and making it work for me.

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Some women can come with just intercourse, and I envy them. I, sadly, require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Does your wife play with herself while you are making love? I love it from behind, because I can prop myself up with pillows and stimulate my clitoris while Mr. Prufrock hits all the right internal spots, I almost always come this way, and we can time it so we come together. It's fantastic. I can't really do this during regular missionary as there is no easy access.

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For me on top is easiest as well...but missionary, if his pelvis is pressed into mine it can stimulate my clitoris as well and I can orgasm...it's very rare for me to have an orgasm from behind with out manual or toy stimulation. But that is fun too!

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The "trick" is clitoral stimulation. This can be done, in both positions, but it may require some positional adjustment. I have a fairly large tool with a pronounced curve to it, which "hits the spot" on most women, but not all.. So sometimes I have to lean back or forward or shift to the right or the left, or vary my speed, and the depths of my thrusts, to achieve the proper stimulus. In other wards, keep trying different things, until you get it right. I'm very lucky, as I seem to do it from instinct. I wasn't smart enough to formulate any kind of pattern, it just happened.

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I have really great orgasms from missionary, but I have only ever had an orgasm a handful of times from behind. My favorite way to orgasm is intercourse, so that makes doggy style/from behind one of my less favorite positions.

 

But I do agree, it takes some position adjustments to get everything just right with missionary.

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OMG I think we all have the same thought. I hate to say that missionary is my least favorite position. I think I used to like it but I think we both like me on top. I get to control where the pressure is and the speed. We get great eye contact and he gets to use his hands on my body. As for reverse me on top, he enjoys watching that, he's a butt man but I need more friction on my button. We do plenty of doggy and the feelings are great mostly he stands over the edge of the bed. We found a combination of doggy and a vibe works well. I know some won't agree with what we did before getting my tubes tied, we would do doggy and he would finish doing anal. I don't orgasm from anal but he always made sure I was ready for it.

My best orgasm is from oral. I am pretty sure he likes that too.

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Mr. CoupleInMD79 here. Here's one idea, from someone who is feeling their way through this (pun intended!) just like everybody else! Maybe try putting a pillow under her butt when you have sex in the missionary position? That might help your thrusting come at more of an upward angle, and hit her G-spot. And if you prop yourself up on your arms some, she may be able to use a hand on her clit while you are doing your part. Maybe an analogous thing for doggie position- she could arrange herself a little lower (spread her legs a little more?) or you raise yourself up a little (keep your legs more together, or kneel on a pillow yourself), to get an angle where you are more likely to hit her G-spot when thrusting. And of course she can use her fingers or a vibrator on her clit even more easily in this position. Just a couple of thoughts!

 

So having tried to answer your exact question, I will also volunteer that it hopefully does not diminish the experience for the two of you if she doesn't happen to cum from missionary of doggie position intercourse. Some of the partners I've played with have told me that they do not often cum from intercourse, but that it feels very good and they really enjoy it nonetheless, and have a great time helping to bring me to orgasm! I try to make sure they are satisfied from oral and/or manual stimulation (or sometimes with the aid of toys, though I admit I'm not very well-versed on their use).

 

Keep trying different things, in a low-pressure, low-expectation environment. The experiments should be lots of fun!

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Mr. CoupleInMD79 here. Here's one idea, from someone who is feeling their way through this (pun intended!) just like everybody else! Maybe try putting a pillow under her butt when you have sex in the missionary position? That might help your thrusting come at more of an upward angle, and hit her G-spot. And if you prop yourself up on your arms some, she may be able to use a hand on her clit while you are doing your part. Maybe an analogous thing for doggie position- she could arrange herself a little lower (spread her legs a little more?) or you raise yourself up a little (keep your legs more together, or kneel on a pillow yourself), to get an angle where you are more likely to hit her G-spot when thrusting. And of course she can use her fingers or a vibrator on her clit even more easily in this position. Just a couple of thoughts!

 

So having tried to answer your exact question, I will also volunteer that it hopefully does not diminish the experience for the two of you if she doesn't happen to cum from missionary of doggie position intercourse. Some of the partners I've played with have told me that they do not often cum from intercourse, but that it feels very good and they really enjoy it nonetheless, and have a great time helping to bring me to orgasm! I try to make sure they are satisfied from oral and/or manual stimulation (or sometimes with the aid of toys, though I admit I'm not very well-versed on their use).

 

Keep trying different things, in a low-pressure, low-expectation environment. The experiments should be lots of fun!

Good post! This is what my ex wife and I used to do, when we did missionary, too. Putting a pillow under her butt, gave the proper angle, so she would "O" many times. Conversely, she didn't like to be on top, because she would lose control and risk bottoming out which can be uncomfortable or painful. Our best sex was doggie, or spoons.

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One of my old girlfriends once opined that men are too "goal oriented." Orgasms are fun, but they aren't actually the end all, be all of sex. It's the whole "it's about the journey not the destination" philosophy. Which is not to say reaching the destination is bad, but don't make it all about that.

 

As for tricks, I read somewhere that lots of women don't/can't reach orgasm just from penetration/vaginal sex. They just aren't physically built for it. Manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris is what is called for. My wife is a prime example. She almost never gets off just from penetration, though she still absolutely loves having a man inside her. I really enjoy making her cum by hand and then penetrating her mid-orgasm... she goes wild.

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OP here. Great advice. So the way my lady and I do it now (90% of the time) is she rubs my penis on her clit to cum, then I do my thing however I want to. She's happy with that and I believe it. Some of her O's are pretty long (15 seconds).

 

Now if I could switch this around to swinging. Haven't had our first experience yet. What are the ladies out there expecting for orgasm? I'd like to prepare myself and I'll do anything to make it happen. My wife doesn't care about her orgasm. She says it's more about the excitement of it all and she's prepared to do whatever it takes to orgasm but it's not going to be disappointing if it doesn't happen. She's actually hoping the other lady makes her cum first ;) Then she can hop over to the guy and get crazy.

 

Just want to add this...wife says she almost always pictures or thinks about a woman when she is trying to cum. I'm ok with this!

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Three words: Hitachi Magic Wand

 

The Ms. actually has a hard time achieving orgasm unless she has intense direct stimulation on her clitoris. The only reliable way for her to get there is with help from Hitachi (trust me, we've tried every other thing we could think of...this has been a life long problem for her). The other couple that we see has also gone and got a Hitachi as well...her husband jokes that he has to keep it locked up to keep it away from her.

 

For those who are REALLY adventurous, add this:

 

Amazon.com: California Exotics Miracle Massager Accessory: Health & Personal Care

 

Both women thought that nothing could be better than Hitachi...until they got this attachment. WARNING: it IS addicting :lol:

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Now if I could switch this around to swinging. Haven't had our first experience yet. What are the ladies out there expecting for orgasm?

 

My wife doesn't really care about getting an orgasm from her swinging partners. She certainly doesn't object to it but she doesn't really expect it. She enjoys having a man, or men, inside her and putting on a show so much that actual orgasms are a secondary consideration. From my perspective, I like my partners to cum so I will usually use my fingers to try to get her off at some point (or better yet multiple points) during the encounter.

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I don't have an answer to your question. I just wanted to let you know that the only way my wife could cum from fucking was if she was on top.

 

I'm not going to claim to be an expert but it has to do with the clitoris. When she is on top she can control the stimulation of her clitoris. From behind doesn't touch the clitoris. It will work in missionary if you keep yourself pressed against her "grinding" her (with your hips?) (pardon my lack of vocabulary) instead of pretending your cock is a jackhammer.

 

I had a girlfriend tell me she had good orgasms with a man with a small cock because it wasn't long enough to give her long strokes so he kept himself pressed against her as he moved/fucked her (rubbing her clitoris).

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It's tough to give advise on something so varied as a woman's orgasm. You said she would come if she was on top, pushing hard and going fast. This does cause increased clit pressure, but also puts her in position to hit her g-spot. A good missionary position we use puts her in position to have her g-spot hit hard and fast. I reach down and pull her legs up, knees bent holding her at the knees with my elbows. Tough to explain really. This points her pussy up (same effect as the pillow). But since I have a good hold on her, I can go uber fast, which drives her crazy. Lastly, when thrusting, your head should not be moving, if it is, your hips aren't doing the thrusting. They need to be in order for you to be able to come in at an upward angle. Think of it as trying to rub the roof of her pussy, rather than pushing straight in. I have no idea if this will help. It does require a sensitive g-spot. It works for us but J can come just from watching a sexy scene in a movie. Not very challenging.

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Lastly, when thrusting, your head should not be moving, if it is, your hips aren't doing the thrusting. They need to be in order for you to be able to come in at an upward angle. Think of it as trying to rub the roof of her pussy, rather than pushing straight in. I have no idea if this will help. It does require a sensitive g-spot. It works for us but J can come just from watching a sexy scene in a movie. Not very challenging.

 

This is the kind of stuff I think I'm looking for. I'm going to try this while keeping pressure towards the top (clit).

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SW_PA_Couple said:
People try to hard to find a sweet spot. Sense a woman's reaction. If you start getting oohs and ahs, her toes begin to curl, or her eyes roll back into her head, whatever it is you're doing, do it some more.

 

Exactly, when your woman sucks in air like a hoover, you're in business!! Another good indication is if she cannot form coherent sentences. My GF will make sounds I never have heard before, and say things that make no sense , whatsoever. The bad news is that she also claws my back....a lot!! Sometimes I look like a fugitive from a chain gang.

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I have always wanted the woman to cum first and would do just about anything to make that happen. I like eating pussy and that is usually how I start out. ( during this I always kiss, stroke the body, suck on fingers, or put fingers in the vagina). Once she has her orgasm we can go for intercourse. If she get really worked up and asks for penetration then I give it to her and she will usually get off then. The cowgirl position will usually produce intense orgasms that she can control and I can influence by bucking, squeezing her breasts, working on her clit and holding here arms down at her side and applying downward pressure. Luckily, I have an average sized cock that fits nicely and moves well as long as there is lubrication. If I am having troubles getting someone off then I may ask them what they want and if it is the wand - no problem, but I keep paying attention to her and stroking and most likely talking to her in slow seductive tones. I have been incredibly lucky to have been with a lot of women and learned that no matter how turned on you think she is, turn her on some more. Kissing and stroking ( where? You decide)usually work well and since many of us are older. And once she starts to orgasm, keep her up there for a while. In case you didn't know I like turning women to jelly. It does not always happen but I try. This makes them usually ready for a second time and more.

 

As for the trick, it is preparation, attention, feeling her out and feeling her up. The normal variations in nerve placement have some commonalities. The rough patch called the G-spot and the clit are sensitive and may shut down if handled too much on some women. Tread lightly at first, and lightly work the finger into the vaginal opening in small circles, you can feel the muscles there that form a V shape, massage them. Think of it like a safe to be opened and enjoyed and if she gives you the combination, smile and get to work.:)

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A lot of good advice here. Sitting around at a dinner party with (believe it or not) vanilla friends, the girls were going around the room saying how they could come during intercourse. The other three girls all said "cowgirl." My dear wife said "either way." They all started looking at me kind of funny...

 

My trick is to push down with your hips in missionary which teeter totters the tip of your cock up inside her and rakes her G-spot, which some say is just the internal side of the clitoris. I am not huge, six inches on my biggest day, but doing this I can sometimes reach her cervix, which drives her wild! I actually think it's the cervix coming down to meet me.

 

Try that, raking her g-spot with the head of your cock. Always works for me!

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