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carl01tx

Think before you orgasm in your partner's mouth

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We were with a couple and had a same room swap. My wife has all ways held me in her mouth as I came. :facelick: I unintentionally upset the other woman by assuming that it was OK to do the same with her. Can't believe that I was so stupid. I was wrong. She couldn't get me out of her mouth fast enough when she realized that I was about to cum. ASK FIRST! :nono:

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Either ask, or let the woman know you are about ready to cum. She can then decide how she wants to handle it. Even when I'm with a swing partner I know lets me cum in her mouth I let her know.

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Asking first is great advice. I know it's hard to think before you orgasm, but this can and might be brought up before play has even begun. :)

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Definitely! Luckily, I learned this before having a bad experience. You make enough of an indication before you are about to cum and you can let the lady decide. We've been lucky in that the men we've encountered have been polite in this regard.

 

I would add that this rule should apply to more than just cumming. It can be easy to forget, especially where some couples have a lot of similarities, that small differences always do exist. Texting the spouse, do you kiss with the partner not present, etc...things we consider small fun gestures, but can result in hurt feelings with others. Always ask!

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You know, when we first started swinging we thought this advice was one of those "Well, duh!" type things. An obvious courtesy that everyone would know. Turns out we were wrong.

 

Over the years, there have been two different guys that have given Mrs two4you an unwelcome surprise. One of them made it a daily double by grabbing the back of her head while coming. This didn't go over so well.

 

So, yeah, if she's giving you the courtesy of a BJ, at least give her the courtesy of deciding how to finish it up.

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An obvious courtesy that everyone would know.

 

You would think! MrsCoupleErotic has not had that happen YET. But I will make sure she see's this forum. She may tell the men she is with, my attention is usually elsewhere. :)

 

I always let a women know, even my wife. There are times she is more than happy to finish up, but at others, not so much. Either way it is her call, not mine.

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Yes, this is definitely something that should be mentioned beforehand.

 

We talked with someone this weekend who had the "head grabbing" deal happen to her, and she was less than pleased. If that happened to my wife, the guy would be damn sure to never do it again, she would probably bring him to tears with a ball squeeze or something on that order.

 

Grabbing in that way is very close to forceful, so unless there was a very solid trust built up, it could very well be construed badly.

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Yes, Brian always tells his partner when he is starting to cum. That way she can decide where she wants him to ejaculate - in her mouth during oral sex, in her pussy when they are fucking or wherever on her body.

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The responsibility to communicate is with both parties, not just the guy. If I let a man put his dick into any part of me, it is with the expectation that he is working toward orgasm, will not necessarily be able to exercise full control, and will ejaculate wherever he may be in me at any time. (I see that loss of control as an indication that the sex is good for him.) If his dick is in a place where you don't want his cum, you have to speak up beforehand.

 

 

It also a little puzzling why a woman open enough to be in the LS and agreeing to let a guy enter her in a certain way then objects to the guy ejaculating there.

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It also a little puzzling why a woman open enough to be in the LS and agreeing to let a guy enter her in a certain way then objects to the guy ejaculating there.

 

Hell, my husband can't ejaculate there, usually; it has nothing to do with "limits" in terms of LS rules; it is simply that my gag reflex is too well-developed to make cum in my mouth a pleasant experience.

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Hell, my husband can't ejaculate there, usually; it has nothing to do with "limits" in terms of LS rules; it is simply that my gag reflex is too well-developed to make cum in my mouth a pleasant experience.

 

Same with Mrs two4you. It's not a matter of preference, she just can't do it.

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When people are with one partner for a long time, we get used to the way we do things. It becomes second nature. Rules are ingrained and seem obvious. It also seems obvious that different people do different things and have different preferences and rules, but when habit comes into play (literally), it's easy to make assumptions. I've had guys assume I wouldn't let them come in my mouth because that's how things are done at home. We've had at least one couple interrupt the beginning of action to have us all take showers. It's actually in their profile that they *always* wash right beforehand, so it wasn't us (thank goodness) and we knew to expect it.

 

Until I was with different men, I always assumed they would orgasm inside me (or in the rubber), because that's the way we did it at home for fifteen years before starting to swing. Then I discovered that lots of people like to ejaculate on tummies or elsewhere. They like the visual and the tactile. One guy always likes to orgasm with me on top, others with them on top. And so on.

 

My point (I actually do have one) is that we should always check with a new partner and not be surprised when their ways of doing things are different than ours. That especially goes for things that are ingrained in ourselves as habits.

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. . . Then I discovered that lots of people like to ejaculate on tummies or elsewhere. . .
Those, actually, are the ones who have been watching too many porno movies.

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Hell, my husband can't ejaculate there, usually; it has nothing to do with "limits" in terms of LS rules; it is simply that my gag reflex is too well-developed to make cum in my mouth a pleasant experience.

 

Sorry; now I was the one making an assumption! See, so I'm glad we talked.

 

 

I discovered that lots of people like to ejaculate on tummies or elsewhere.

 

Great post with good insights on the subject, Fuse. You are right - The joy of being non-monogamous requires working out and enjoying the variety in the sex; the benefit of regular partners is that we have already learn and play off each others' cues without thinking about it. But having the cum deposited outside is something I never understood. As SW_PA_Couple said, it happens all the time in porn since that is the only way for a mere observer to know the guy has orgasmed. So it may be a case of life imitating porn, but for me (and my partners), when you are a participant and not just an observer you don't need to see it to know when the guy is cumming. The pulsing feels too good and that stuff is too precisous to be wasted. This is, of course, only my fetish for now and I'm willing to have my mind changed!

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Oh dear... once again I must disagree. Maybe it's because of the gag reflex thing, and needing to find an alternative, but I actually like the sensation of hot cum on my skin. Doesn't have to be that way, but it is definitely one of the ways I like it. And I am definitely NOT a fan of porn, and haven't had my tastes developed by it.

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Oh dear... once again I must disagree. Maybe it's because of the gag reflex thing, and needing to find an alternative, but I actually like the sensation of hot cum on my skin. Doesn't have to be that way, but it is definitely one of the ways I like it. And I am definitely NOT a fan of porn, and haven't had my tastes developed by it.

 

 

Really, who knows how any of us got to where we enjoy the things we do? Some we can explain, a lot we can't. Probably one of the things that influences me the most is that both my guys once they reach a certain point wherever they are, they don't want to and have a hard time, pulling out. But listening to your description makes it sound delicious, something I should reconsider. My mental image right now though is that after the initial rubbing it around, the thrill is gone and it's just some dried stuff to be cleaned up.

 

 

On the other hand (and I'm willing to admit to any wierdness you want), having cum inside me, even though (or because) it is a guy's stuff, makes me feel extremely feminine - a wife, a whore, a girlfriend, both dominated and dominating. In those intense few moments, that is what I am for. Doesn't matter if it is put into my mouth, my vag, or my bum, I feel compelled to take it in. The thoughts of how it is alive, how it can live inside me for several days (if it's deposited in my pussy) and how there is often the sperm of both my men living in me simultaneously both turn me on and make me feel fulfilled. When either of my guys cums in my vag, which is the way we finish almost all of the time, I will often put a pillow under my bum so it doesn't leak out and it goes deeper into me.

 

 

There have been times hubby has cum on Clair's belly or on her neck from putting his dick between her breasts (something he can't do with me) and I'll lick it up. I like that OK, but I prefer licking it out of her mouth or pussy and see if I can make her cum again.

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Oh dear... once again I must disagree. Maybe it's because of the gag reflex thing, and needing to find an alternative, but I actually like the sensation of hot cum on my skin. Doesn't have to be that way, but it is definitely one of the ways I like it. And I am definitely NOT a fan of porn, and haven't had my tastes developed by it.

 

Same again for Mrs two4you, point for point.

This is the second time in this thread I've had to jump on your Bandwagon. I think that means we're dating now or something. :D

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Same again for Mrs two4you, point for point.

This is the second time in this thread I've had to jump on your Bandwagon. I think that means we're dating now or something. :D

 

Works for me ;)

 

And couplers, no problems about the mess; in my experience the gentlemen are very good about cleaning me up... a nice bit of gentle attention after a good time. PB is especially vigilant about using a nice warm washcloth... oh that feels good!

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Tim made the same mistake a while ago when we were with another couple, her husband was giving me a good ramming doggy style and pulling my hair which I was OK with as I do enjoy a bit of rough sometimes. Tim though had the woman turn to him (they were doggy to) and say quietly spank my bottom hard while you and fucking me it will help me orgasm really hard. Her hubby got very snotty about his wife getting bottom smacked so you do need to communicate even before cumming! LOL!

 

That was one invitation we did not get asked to come again please....

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I think this subject needs to be covered in the initial "getting to know you" conversation between the two couples when the four learn each other's preferences. That way everyone knows where each stands and there will be no surprises.

 

On our initial playdate with our second playcouple, the guy came really quickly (in my wife's pussy). After a bit of a rest, she was able to suck him back to hardness. He lasted much longer the second time.

 

The next time we met, while warming up in the den, she interrupted their kiss, looked him in the eye and said, "I want to suck you off and swallow your load so it'll be easier for you to last longer the second time, when we fuck." It worked like a charm.

 

After that, she was always sure to tell the other couple how she stood on the issue before we ever had sex with them: "Whenever I suck a guy, I fully expect to drink his come. If I didn't want to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth."

 

Even so, when she tasted a fellow's pre-come, she'd usually slide his dick out of her mouth, lick the tip, and say something like, "C'mon, Stud, give me a mouthful of that tasty stuff!" Then she'd swallow it again and suck like she really wanted his come.

 

Communication is important on both sides. It shouldn't be necessary for the guy to ask; he should already know.

 

Alura

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I think this subject needs to be covered in the initial "getting to know you" conversation between the two couples when the four learn each other's preferences. That way everyone knows where each stands and there will be no surprises.

 

On our initial playdate with our second playcouple, the guy came really quickly (in my wife's pussy). After a bit of a rest, she was able to suck him back to hardness. He lasted much longer the second time.

 

The next time we met, while warming up in the den, she interrupted their kiss, looked him in the eye and said, "I want to suck you off and swallow your load so it'll be easier for you to last longer the second time, when we fuck." It worked like a charm.

 

After that, she was always sure to tell the other couple how she stood on the issue before we ever had sex with them: "Whenever I suck a guy, I fully expect to drink his come. If I didn't want to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth."

 

Even so, when she tasted a fellow's pre-come, she'd usually slide his dick out of her mouth, lick the tip, and say something like, "C'mon, Stud, give me a mouthful of that tasty stuff!" Then she'd swallow it again and suck like she really wanted his come.

 

Communication is important on both sides. It shouldn't be necessary for the guy to ask; he should already know.

 

Alura

 

Alura,

 

For many months now I have enjoyed reading your interesting and insightful posts. It sure sounds like your Laura was a real and classy lady who had to be a joy to share life with.

 

Thank you for being here.

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Alura,

 

For many months now I have enjoyed reading your interesting and insightful posts. It sure sounds like your Laura was a real and classy lady who had to be a joy to share life with.

 

Thank you for being here.

 

Thanks, Doc! She had two degrees, Psychology and Communications. She learned well and used the knowledge in all aspects of her life. I write a lot about her because there's a lot to write about. In whatever she decided to do, she strived to be very good at it. If there was a problem, it needed to be solved. Swinging was no exception.

 

Thank you for your kind words.

 

Alura

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I think this subject needs to be covered in the initial "getting to know you" conversation between the two couples when the four learn each other's preferences. That way everyone knows where each stands and there will be no surprises.

 

On our initial playdate with our second playcouple, the guy came really quickly (in my wife's pussy). After a bit of a rest, she was able to suck him back to hardness. He lasted much longer the second time.

 

The next time we met, while warming up in the den, she interrupted their kiss, looked him in the eye and said, "I want to suck you off and swallow your load so it'll be easier for you to last longer the second time, when we fuck." It worked like a charm.

 

After that, she was always sure to tell the other couple how she stood on the issue before we ever had sex with them: "Whenever I suck a guy, I fully expect to drink his come. If I didn't want to, his cock wouldn't be in my mouth."

 

Even so, when she tasted a fellow's pre-come, she'd usually slide his dick out of her mouth, lick the tip, and say something like, "C'mon, Stud, give me a mouthful of that tasty stuff!" Then she'd swallow it again and suck like she really wanted his come.

 

Communication is important on both sides. It shouldn't be necessary for the guy to ask; he should already know.

 

Alura

Truer words were never spoken.

 

Get the rules and preferences out before you start. The middle of playtime is a poor time to be given a list of 'don'ts'. I sure as hell ain't gonna apologize or feel guilty for something not mentioned.

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