Are Swingers Sex addicts

[Corwyn13]

I was watching "wired for sex" last night on Discovery on sex addiction. The jist of the show was that sex additcion is basically a combination of an adrenaline high and emotional immaturity.

According to the show it goes something like this.
People get a rush out of new sexual encounters and then they associate this rush with "love" (deeper emotional feelings)
This prevents the deeper emotional love/lovemaking that naturally develops with commited couples etc.


So I got to thinking - People here MUST be hard core junkies

But seriously - You MUST admit that there is a certain level of risk in this lifestyle - STDs, the possible stigma associated with this lifestyle, loss of job if discovered etc. And other possible horror stories from "crazies".

So how do you assess your risk? What are you risking in your opnion?


Maybe this should be a poll, but
Do you have kids?
Do you think that you risk their safety by being part of this lifestyle?
Do you think you would lose your job if found out?
How would your family react?

Someone has started a string about webcams in clubs.
THis got me thinking, how do you know you're not being taped now? (While I haven't heard of it. There is a whole underground fetish(?) of people who tape people with hidden cameras. It's not a far stretch to think that it hasn't crossed the mind of at least one club owner somewhere to install a few hidden cams.
What if you got taped?

Given the negative reprocations possible if "discovered"
would you say that that IS part of why you do it?


Cory

[fun_pairTX]

Originally posted by Corwyn13
But seriously - You MUST admit that there is a certain level of risk in this lifestyle So how do you assess your risk?

Look at potential loss and see what you can do to limit your loss. Condoms/testing can help limit STD's. Careful screening of playmates limits your risk. As far as discretion questions go I was once told if you worry about discretion, then only play with those who have more to lose than you do.

Do you have kids?
Yes, three are out of state over 1k miles away. The one in state and his wife both dabble in the lifestyle.

Do you think that you risk their safety by being part of this lifestyle?
No

Do you think you would lose your job if found out?
No, I am a self employed musician. If I were employed otherwise and lost my job due to a lifestyle choice the result of the lawsuits would be profitable.

How would your family react?
My family is either 1k+ miles or deceased, outside of my daughters I have 2 living relatives. (But it is really cheap to hold a family reunion)

What if you got taped?
I would hope they got my best side if I have one.

Given the negative reprocations possible if "discovered"
would you say that that IS part of why you do it?
Not at all. There are far bigger adreanaline rushes than sex.

[fredandwilma200]

We have three kids!
DO we run a RISK! YES!
I would loose my job if they found out, however, if people around here (let me say the wrong person in our area) found out then it could be more risky then my job finding out! I am a Realtor so we have to be very causious! My worst feel is to go into a home and show it and have some strange guy think that he can have his way since he saw my photos on a website! So we TRY to be careful of who we allow to see them! I say try because you can never really know! As far as my family, as screwed up as they are! They would still look down on us! But the way that I figure it, What my husband and I do in our bed is only our business and who we allow to share it! So..I wouldnt worry about them to much! However, if someone at my childs school found out then I dont know what I would do since that could open a whole can of worms! There is a lady down the road (now I am not sure of the whole situation, it could be more than I have been told) she lost her children due to the fact that she and her husband were turned in for swinging! They took those kids! Sorry got off topic but yes there are always worries!

[VegasLee]

Laura and I are very out and open about our lifestyle. We personally see no stigma associated with our lifestyle anymore then Gays and Lesbians deal with. Personally, we are willing to deal with it to have the very happy life that we have.

We have six kids and five grandkids. All of our kids are aware of our lifestyle except for the little ten year old. The grandkids are all to small at this point to know.

We have never lost a friend or a job because of our lifestyle. I many ways it has opened many very positive doors for us both personally and professionally.

I do have to ask why as a Realtor you feel you would lose your job if you where found out? I know many very well know realtors that are in the lifesytle and some are also openly gay and they do not fear for their jobs at all here in Vegas. Some of them are the top realtors in the State of Nevada.

I personally do not have any faimily, Laura's family is aware of our lifestyle and even though some of them do not agree with it or desire to be part of it they have not shunned us for it. We are no more distant or closer then we where before with them.

"The jist of the show was that sex additcion is basically a combination of an adrenaline high and emotional immaturity."

I will agree that may be the case with some people. Not all. The adrenaline high, yes, it is great. Emotional immaturity I do feel some fall into that catagory that are in the lifestyle. They are looking for exceptance using sex but many do that out side the lifestyle also.

We love the lifestyle, love having sex with others. In a way I guess you can call it a hobby. Some make quilts, some golf and some bowl but we have sex with our friends.

It is also much more then the sex with us. The relationship that Laura and I have is the greatest in the world. I would not trade it for anything. We have an honesty and trust level that I have never seen in any so called "straight" relationship. Come to think of it, I have only seen it matched in some friends that we have that are gay and they have been together for over 25 years.

Personally, we have the feeling that not being "normal" has made a much better life for us since we have worked it together and not lived our life by the rules of what most others think is right or wrong.

The Lifestyle is not for everyone but for those that truely understand it and can really live it, it is wonderful.

Keeping life simple and not looking for others to add drama to our life has been one of the best side effects of really living the lifestyle and not just playing it.

[SABRE777]

I have been caught!!

IS there som kind of Sex addict suport group??

Just joking

[fredandwilma200]

vegas lee,

where we are in Florida they dont look kind on that!!!!!!!!!
I know a couple of Gay and lesbian people that are Realtors and we all "hide"..If the company that I carry their name...would find out....my career with them....would lets just say be OVER! They are very Christian like people and .....have made statements about the whole swinging issue and Gay issue! So I know that they would let me go in a heart beat. Also, if you know Realtors you understand how hard and expensive it is to get started..so it would be hard for me to start over with another company..that is just my situation...may not be all peoples....

[BradAndJanet]

I think there's a big difference between a 'sex addict' and someone who just likes sex a lot. I think most of us here fall into the latter category. A true sex addict will lie, cheat and steal to have sex and probably cannot sustain a stable relationship. Just like the difference between gamblers and gambling addicts, it's the self-destructive behavior that identifies the true addict.

Yes, we have kids, and no, we don't feel this 'hobby' we've chosen puts them at risk, because we are very careful to whom we reveal our personal information.

I doubt we would lose our jobs over being 'outed', but undoubtedly some of our co-workers would be uncomfortable (or go out of their way to make us feel uncomfortable!)

My family likely would just shrug it off, but in their ignorance of swinging, might be concerned for our relationship.

I'm intrigued by your penultimate (ooo, I got to use that word in a sentence ) question. The truth is, with cameras getting smaller and more sophisticated, you just don't know and you have to trust the club owners. It's something to consider, and I'd love to hear the comments of some of the club owners here.

-B

[fun_pairTX]

Originally posted by SABRE777
I have been caught!!

IS there som kind of Sex addict suport group??

Just joking

There is SLAA which is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous..........
I understand it's a great place to meet chicks ROFLMAO

[SABRE777]

maybe a place to find that female for our 3 some

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
There is SLAA which is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous..........
I understand it's a great place to meet chicks ROFLMAO

Damn! Really?? I am there! Where do I sign up?

Zgirl

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by GirlieZ
Damn! Really?? I am there! Where do I sign up?

Zgirl

Seriously, I love sex...I don't necessairly think that I am addicted to it. I would be very upset if I would have to live without it.

Zgirl

[Greg & Sheryl]

Do you have kids?

No.

Do you think that you risk their safety by being part of this lifestyle?

Not applicable.

Do you think you would lose your job if found out?

Greg: No, he works for an adult business and they already know.
Sheryl: Maybe, but she is not very concerned about it.

How would your family react?

Greg: They would roll their eyes and say, "That's just like Greg!"
Sheryl: She's already considered the black sheep of the family, so her status within her family would not change.

What if you got (secretly) taped?

We would request a courtesy copy.

[EternallySingle]

Been treated and can say this. Being a sex addict is like being a gambling addict or workaholic. You don't feel good unless you are working or gambling or having sex. Often sex addicts are also workaholics, gambling addicts, or substance abusers. They get the same rush from sex as they do from the other behaviors.

Unlike substance abuse, being addicted to a behavior means learning how to put that behavior back into the context of a normal life, not using it to help you solve or get away from problems, as gambling addicts, workaholics, and sex addicts tend to do.

So unless you have other obsessive behaviors, don't worry about being a sex addict.

[curiousagain]

I am not endangering my children.
I would probably lose my job and yes, I could probably sue,
but, if I won, it would only be after years and thousands of dollars
of suits and countersuits, who needs that?
mistaking love and lust? That is what you run into everywhere else.
Swingers know the difference between the two much, much more than those that don't swing.

[SnSnLex]

"Do you have kids?"

Yes

"Do you think that you risk their safety by being part of this lifestyle? "

No, we aren't robbing banks with them in the getaway car. Just making new friends!

"Do you think you would lose your job if found out?"

Not a chance in hell! I am the boss, hehe. They already know at the the ladies work, so no big deal there.

"How would your family react?"

They would bitch, cry, and complain that"You were raised better than that" for a week, then get over it we would hope.

As for being secretly taped, lets just say nothing good would come out of it if we found out.