Men...why do you swing?

[Tarnished Halo]

Rett suggested that this question be asked, so I'll ask it. Most of the time as I understand it, it's the guys who suggest swinging. What are your reasonings, and what do you tell your wife/girlfriend? Is it the sowing of oats, or the harem, or is there something else that is the prime motivating factor?
Tarnished

[Spoomonkey]

Honestly - I really wanted to see Mrs Spoomonkey in a pile... I've kind of always had the fantasy, but it grew especially strong when it became obvious that Mrs Spoomonkey was a "bad girl." We had/have a GREAT sex life - and the idea of expanding it was just something that really came about for both of us.

I am not terribly into the "harem" thing - in fact, single females rank as number three on our list of interests - after threesomes (MMF) and couples (which are frankly in a virtual tie). Sure - I would never turn down a chorus of Grecian women who'd like to "blow my hair dry"... But I am not out trying to see how many women I can "bag". I have my bag at the ready,though, just in case...

It really is for and about us. Trite, but true...

The powerful connection and lust that we have the week after is the REAL payoff...



Spoomonkey

I will have to go with spoo here.

It has nothing to do with sowing wild oats.

It is about watching the woman I love fullfill her deepest desires.

Being with another woman does not do near as much for me as watching Mrs naughty being brought to an orgasm.



The reason we mostly do the couples thing because I feel like a peeping tom if I just sit back and watch. Plus I am not going to deny its damn fun because it is.

But Numero Uno number 1 for me is watching Mrs naughty get hers!!!

I think you will find most guys who swing feel that it is more about "Her" than it is about him.

[fun_pairTX]

Well one night early in our relationship Barbara rolled over and said "I have found myself attracted to women all my life" All I could reply was COOL. It is the bi thing that drew us in.

[MrYaWanna]

I'll go out on a limb here...Men swing for the same reason we don't get Mad Cow Disease....we're all pigs lol

Men love sex. Most of us are raised to think we are perverts because we think about banging every skirt we see. We could never imagine that a woman would think the same thing.

I was amazed to discover that some women think the same way we do. OMG...can it be true...so of course we have to watch...smart men listen too. There must be something wrong here. We all know that if it seems too good to be true it must not be true. But there she is, the woman we love, going wild in a sexual way, completely lost in the heat of the moment. No film trickery, no mirrors, ok, maybe some mirrors, but they are not there to fool us.

Men love sex, we are raised to assume women "put up" with sex. Poor bastards that are married to those girls

Lo and behold, women, at least our women, love sex too and they are secure, free, confident enough to show it.

I Love my girl, she loves me. We are more honest with each other then anyone I know.

What was the question again? I'm all gushy now.

Oh yes, Men swing because we want to and we can.

Lucky men swing because they've found that perfect woman!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally posted by MrYaWanna
I'll go out on a limb here...Men swing for the same reason we don't get Mad Cow Disease....we're all pigs lol

Usually I say that we are dogs - but this perfect!

Lucky men swing because they've found that perfect woman!

While we do have different reasons to swing, this quote is absolutely true! Mr Yawanna, I share your love for our swinging wives. Thanks for gushing.

Spoomonkey

[lcjtsd]

I have to agree that watching her having fun IS what it's all about.

I have to admit that before we did anything, I thought I would be the wild one and she would be the shy one. Boy was I wrong! We haven't had many experiences, however, I learned a few things about Mrs. LCJTSD from all this and our sex life is better than ever.

When we are out playing, be it a single guy or another couple, my number one concern is how much fun is she having. If I felt she wasn't enjoying herself, I would stop things right then. My feelings, needs, wants, desires all come second. Hers come first!

[VegasLee]

To be honest I swing for very selfish reasons. It is the sex!

Not the sex that I may or may not have with other women but the sex I have with Laura. I am the luckyest guy in the world. No matter how many others I have I find that none of them hold a candle to her.

It is great that I can be a flirt (yes, men flirt too), play touchy feely and mess around with other ladies when I want knowing that it is not going to cause a problem within my relationship.

The greatest part is like many here have stated, seeing her have a great time! She is one that the more she gets the more she wants and when she gets around to me it is like I am having sex with all the women in the club at once. Totally wild! I have never experieced anything like it in my life and I have been in the lifestyle many years.

If life could get any better I really do not know who that would be!

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Well one night early in our relationship Barbara rolled over and said "I have found myself attracted to women all my life" All I could reply was COOL. It is the bi thing that drew us in.

Dito

[Spoomonkey]

Originally posted by lcjtsd
When we are out playing, be it a single guy or another couple, my number one concern is how much fun is she having.

Okay - something just struck me because of the post above...

I tend to struggle with shyness when we are playing with another couple. Three reasons: 1) I AM shy. 2) I don't want to be over domineering to the wife. 3) I don't want to step over any imaginary lines the husband may have set...

Irrational? Of course... It seems that most of the men are in this because they get turned on by their wife's pleasure. Just as in our own private moments, we are likely taken to that place of not being able to control ourselves only after we have driven ourselves crazy by driving our wife crazy... (Pardon the run on).

How liberating to know that other men think like I do! So - from now on - I promise to pleasure your wife just the way you like it



Spoomonkey

[SparkyandAJ]

I got the mrs to try swinging because she had never been with another man. I didn't want her hitting 40 and wondering if she was missing out on something. If she wanted to see if she was missing out on something, at least this way she would have my permission and not be cheating. Some friends of ours got divorced a few years back after over 20 years of marriage....she thought she was missing out on life. I didn't want my marriage to go the same way.
Life is great for us after a year in the lifestyle! Our relationship was never in trouble, but it sure has improved! And like all the other guys here, I love to watch her with other guys!!! Just to see her get pleasure from anything, especially SEX, does it for me. I like to get mine too, but it is for her pleasure foremost!

[Rett]

Hi , Tarnished Halo

I'll try to make an attempt at explaining why at least "some" males want to swing. Bear in mind that the following may not apply to everyone nor every situation.

I guess the males nature and thought process throughout time has been that he values his manhjood through his sexual prowess. Thus, for many of the younger adult males the first thought when they see an attractive woman is that they fantasize having sex with her. For some having uninhibited bedroom activities with any attractive woman is regarded as being manly and a token of his achievement. The fact that a man gets sexually aroused by porno or the presence of an attractive woman is probably due to his testosterone level and his basic primal instincts. In his early dating stages he probably just likes to play the field and is not looking for what may be and enduring relationship. His sexual life may get started with having sex with various partners in the process of dating or as a new and exciting swinging activity with acquaintances without intended obligations, an it's fun for him. Just look at the nuber of single males looking for swinging hookups via the internet and all that would desire to enter a swinger club.

Now comes the marriage period. During the courting period and the first several years of living together the sex life may be often and fantastic, but after several years the sex is just not quite a exciting anymore. The toils of live at the job, in maintaining the home, in raising children, in meeting financial goals, etc. have set in and life has changed dramatically. The sex life may become just a husband/wife activity and a lot of the thrill, excitement, and passion enjoyed in the eaarly stages have leveled out. The woman may be fatigued by the many roles and tasks in the relationship. The male may devote more interest in succeeding in his job than showing love and desire to the wife. Perhaps his interest turns to excessive time devoted to his friends or sports. Why is the male not having a normal sex life anymore? The males basic primal instincts react in the form of sexual fantasies (it would be interesting to see in a poll if this is true and the time period it happened in). He thinks swinging would enhance the couples sex life and he starts suggesting the fantasies to his partner. Through swinging he may enact out hic lost desires and more. If he can entice her into swinging he can live out his fantasies. If both partners find the lifestyle is compatible and they are fully committed as on in both love and trust he has the perfect woman for him and maybe it will draw them closer together . he must be careful here as there are many pitfalls in every relationship and swinging may ampligly them. As many have said, once you take the step you can't ever take it back.

The male likes, dislikes, and temperament also changes as he matures and gets older. The type of woman he found attractive in his twenties, he may not be attracted to as he reaches age 30 or 40 and beyond.How may he live out his fantasies while keeping his relationship- by getting his companion into swinging. If she is having sex with others through swinging and without cheating then so can he have sex. A new and fun adventure to spice up life again, which they can both participate and enhance their married sex life. Perhaps, he may also explore sexual activities he has not enjoyed at home.

Tarnished Halo, I've been reading the few responses to your question as to why men swing. Basically those that answered said to enhance their married sex lives, to watch and enjoy their wife fulfilling her desires and being pleasured and are turned on by it , that swinging brings them closer together through enhanced communication with one another, and it's a fun activity. I would dobt, however., that many men could sustain a completely one-sided swinging relationship where he only watched and never had sex but just enjoyed swinging by watching his wife being pleasured by another man. Swinging is mainly a couple activity. As stated by mostly everyone, swinging is not for everone. I guess that says that for those that are within the majority of society the alternative lifestyle of swinging is not an accepted activity.

As for women, it seems they are now becoming much more aggressive in regards to sex. Probably the changes in cultural society and the use and availability of computer sex have helped open this up . However, the woman's greatest sexual desire is opened up more through emotional relations and intellectually based factors - quite different that that of a man. Rather than just having uninhibited sex, a woman may want love. A women's most often statement about men is "All they want is one thing". How many single women would continue dating a man if his primary interests were in swinging and not her as a person he loves and care for? Men - try a little tenderness, it goes a long way

[sharp1]

Why do I like to Swing?

1. I like group sex
2. I love being the "other guy" men like to watch having sex with their wives/ girlfriends.
3. I enjoy being Single (That's why I'm still single and not a part of a couple in this lifestyle)

[tazzie_n_truck]

Me (Truck), I feel the reason that we got into swinging, was we wanted to expiriment sexually, we have some friends who told us about it and we talked about trying it and seeing if we would enjoy it, then one weekend almost 3 years ago, we swapped with our first couple, havn't been with them since, but would love to if we ever had the chance to again, it was also Tazzie's first bi-expirience that night.

But someone asked us recently as to why we still swing, and Tazzie and I told them that we enjoy the lifestyle and how we are able to do different things with different people, because there are some things that Tazzie won't do and I won't do that we each have wanted to expirience and in swinging we have found people that do enjoy those things.

As far as getting started in it in the first place, we have to say niether one of us really can say it was one of us over the other who wanted to give it a try, we both were struck with the interest by friends and we talked about it and decided together to give it a try.

I often tell other couples out there who are interested in swinging, to sit down and talk about it to make sure that it is something that they are going to be comfortable doing, especially if they full swap if they are going to be in the same room being comfortable with their partner having sex with someone else.

Hope this helps.

[SparkyandAJ]

For whatever reasons you try swinging, if you are here, you are at a great place to begin! Look at what people have to say about all aspect of the lifestyle. Many different opinions about different aspects. Read what you can, then TALK with your partner about what you want and what you don't. Be sure you are both on the same page before jumping in! Be safe and have fun!!!