For couples, what got you into swinging?

[scott17201]

just curious what got you as a couple swinging. is it the have of others in bed and you didnt want to cheat on your spouse and this is the result. just curious.

[flipflop]

I guess what got us started was when I first told my wife that I was bi and it kinda snowballed from there, she said I could go and play with other guys and I asked if she would like me to share them. I told her that I wouldn't mind as long as I know about it, and then we started talking about swinging which is more of what we want, just too bad we live in a small town where almost everyone knows everyone.

[BorisNatasha]

Natasha started expressing interest in going through with one of her greatest fantasies, which was to be watched (by a large number of people) while having sex with me. I started doing research on the good old intarweb to figure out where you could go to do that sort of thing, and ended up at the sites for some local on-premise clubs. "Swinging, lifestyle, what's that" led to a couple of good books on the subject, many nights spent reading this website, a couple of months discussing the idea, and then some on-premise club visits.

The thrill was fantastic for both of us showing off like that, and over time it just evolved into same room play with other couples, then soft swap (oral), and then to our first (and so far only) full swap couple. At every stage of the game there was a lot of discussion, what-if's, and evaluation of where our relationship was and whether it was a good idea to take the next step up the ladder. I think due to our communication and cautious advance into this lifestyle, we have no regrets.

Boris

[wifes_sex_slave]

For my wife and I, we wanted to add a little spice to our sex lives but we did not want to cheat on each other. I first brought it up in conversation with her (after very much self deliberation and weeks of wondering how to bring it up). At fisrt, she was "no way", but I brought it up on a few occasions and showed her porn with more than just vanilla sex and she started getting interested. Then we talked extensively and decided we would try it. We love it, the fact that we can have different lovers and not have the worries of jelousy.

[Hagar]

We both enjoy Sex and we enjoy being together. We have enjoyed participating with each other having sex in a way that couldn't be enjoyed in any other way.

[WesternSwing]

I think the general perception of swinging from the outside looking in is that people are bored with their spouse and it is a way to have sex with others and not be cheating. I think for the majority of swingers it is far from the truth. We don't do it to "spice-up" our marriage (although it is a nice side effect) or to "fix" something in it. Those couples rarely last long in the Lifestyle because swinging just adds more on top of an already troubled relationship. It's not replacement sex, it's simply additional sex.

My wife and I had talked about it for a couple of years. Mostly stuff like "do you think they would" about neighbors after drinking together and the conversation went sexy. So we both had some fantasies that required more than two people to fulfill, but never really acted on them.

We both had a great relationship and great sex together, so anything else above that would just be icing on the cake together.

Then a few years back we were at a party my wife's ex-coworker and her her husband were throwing. It was a sexy party but not technically a "swinger's party." A woman came-up to my wife and asked her if she could kiss her. Mrs. WS said "yes" and suddenly discovered a part of her she didn't know was there, or at least had be repressing for her whole life. She was bi-curious. We hung out with them the rest of the night at the party.

So we placed an ad on a site. We went out with one couple that turned into a complete disaster (they argued all night) so nothing happened.

But, we had planned a trip out of town with the woman that had kissed Mrs. WS and her husband for Mrs. WS's birthday. I got a suite with a hot tub at the casino hotel and we gambled for a while then when up to the room and played the rest of the night together. It was incredible and we screwed like bunnies for weeks after from the excitement of it.

So we originally got into it so Mrs. WS could explore her bi-side and I was just along for the ride. But, we found we really liked the excitement of the whole thing and the more we got into it the more we discovered people we really liked in the Lifestyle because we could be us around them.

So here we are going on three years in the Lifestyle and still having a great time with a bunch of great people.

Mr. WS

Oh, and the couple that introduced us to swinging... We're still good friends with them.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

It's not replacement sex, it's simply additional sex.

How true this is. My husband and I didn't get into sex to make something better. We already have fantastic sex that nothing can beat, but we just wanted something more.

It's a way for both of us to grow. It's one of the most selfless act I can think -- urging your spouse to go out and have adventures with other women and he does the same for me. We want each other to be happy, and exploring is one of those ways.

I don't know how else to explain it, but that's the closest I can come.

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by scott17201

just curious what got you as a couple swinging. is it the have of others in bed and you didnt want to cheat on your spouse and this is the result. just curious.

Nice theory along with your question. Why I am not surprised?

It is not to "have other in bed" for oneself, but to "share other's in bed" for each other, much like the difference between laughing at someone and laughing with someone.

It is funny because we all cannot avoid attempting explanations derivated from our own perspectives. So, you suppose this is a selfish activity, when in fact it is the opposite: to give up oneself's selfishness and fight against our insecurities to take risks in order to allow your partner to enjoy the life to the fullest, including the joy of variety in our sexual life.

The whole idea of swinging as a workaround to avoid cheating is way off grounds here. And again, from your other posts, I am not surprised about your missconception.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by scott17201

is it the have of others in bed and you didnt want to cheat on your spouse and this is the result.

No.

[oc1234]

For us it was just a matter of having a very close couple over to the house and having it evolve to me having sex with my friend's wife and my friend having sex with my wife. It was not something we had planned but it was something we were glad happened.

Even though my friend's wife and I never really hit it off, my friend and my wife did. And I am very glad they did.

[couplewanting50]

The way it started for us is that I have enjoyed encouraging my wife's sexuality. She is sexually hungry and I love pleasuring her. We talked about her having more.... more cock, more variety, more men in one sexual experience. More. Over the top arousal.

I had always wanted to see her be sexual in a different way, from a different perspective, so we first talked about MFM threesomes. It evolved from there, but my biggest pleasure is her pleasure, and seeing her crazy.

She love the encouragement, and she loves being pursued, desired, the center of attention of multiple men.

[Tia Vampire]

just wanted to find out if we were missing out on anything. we also wanted to see if our love for each other could stand the life-style. so far we have survived.