what makes you want to swing

[watcherone]

After reading the last couple days of discussion, I am beginning to wonder what it is that you all are into swinging for. To me and my wife, we are into it for the fun and enjoyment you get from sharing with someone else. I also have talked to the men we invite in and they basiclly are into it for about the same thing. Maybe singles and couples have the same basic needs in the lifestyle and that is why they are in it.

[LIZA]

Just for fun.......no deep reasons.
We avoid jealousy by not doing everything with others and by not developing close relationships with others. Most of the people we have been with we either met that same night or met maybe one time before. We are not one of those couples that is into developing long, intimate relationships with the people we play with........I have all the intimacy I want or need in my marriage. This is just a way to share some fun exciting times, cut loose and that's it, no more

[JustAskJulie]

Personally, we are into it for friendships. Not long intimate relationships in the type that my husband and I have, but just friendships. There is a line between sex and love .. unfortunately too many people don't know how to separate the two. Luckily both of us do and we can develop friendships with people and have sex with them without worrying about getting "too attached". We can't speak for those we have played with. There have been occasions when a single guy we were friends with then decided to include in our play got too attached to me and that killed our friendship as well. But it's a chance you take.

We aren't hardcore swingers who go out every weekend to swinger clubs or parties looking for someone to play with, then have sex with them that night and move on. If we go to a swinger party we are looking for friends. If we did hit it off well with someone that night and decide to play, great. But we've learned to expect the opposite.

Overall we are in this because we have both discovered through a great deal of communication that neither of us like the idea of only having sex with one person for the rest of our lives. We have the one person we love and we will always come home to, but sometimes when it comes to sex you want something different. Also we are into this because in all that communication we found that hubby really enjoys seeing me with other guys or even hearing about it. It is an expansion of our relationship.

I think that when it comes down to it, everyone is in it for their own reasons and looking for their own things.. but their definition is the same. They are all looking to fulfill fantasies that they can't fulfill on their own... even the single guys.

If you go into this with the right attitude and accept that not everyone is what you are looking for, just as you are not what everyone else is looking for you'll have a great time and meet some great people. Yes we enjoy the sex, but it makes life much easier when we can have friends that understand our lifestyle as well.

Julie

Friendships...With whom we can share the lifestyle with, fulfilling each other's sexual desires & fantasies...Enhancing our already AWESOME sex life to the fullest with mutual friends! Whether it be soft or full swing, as long as we're all enjoying ourselves...Same room sex is just as much of a turn on, as any other way possible! *VBS*

I agree with Julie, some can't distinguish the difference between "sex & love". Just because we have a friendship going with couples we swing with, don't mean we're "in love" with one or the other too. Intimacy is shared only between hubby & I. Some find that hard to do too...

We're not hardcore swingers either, and we haven't tried any clubbing yet, but that's still an option we keep open, maybe for later with other mutual friends. ;-)


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[watcherone]

There is something different about friends you swing with. Some get embarrassed and it takes a little work on our part to help them feel okay about just enjoying the sex and not having to deal with any intimate relationship afterwards. We have added new friends with and without sex. One yoounger guy in particular has become a very good friend and he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He is now probably closer than some friends we have had for many years. Not from sex but just because he found he could be himself around us and we werent critical of who he was. He is also my wife's best and favorite swing partner-outside of me that is. That is another funny thing about getting into this lifestyle. My wife has not once found our sex life to be less exciting after having one or two other men in her. It is just the opposite, she seems to need me more somehow and that has made me more at ease and affectionate.
PS: I am sorry that she never does the posting here. I seem to be more open about this to "strangers" such as this board and she is still a bit scared that family or straight friends will find out and think less of her. Myself, I am a better person for being true to my feelings and not hiding what I am. There iiiiiare worse things to be and we are only being natural.

[JustAskJulie]

Hey Watcher,

That's really one of the great things about this lifestyle.. even if you don't end up swinging with some of the people you meet it does give you the opportunity to meet some great people that you can be open with. I mean you can't really talk about this stuff with your friends at work...lol.. well you might be able to with some.. but you know what I mean.

Don't feel bad about your wife not posting.. I've found that in most cases it's the guy who is doing most of the emails, answering ads, and postings. I'm an oddball and usually end up doing it all here.. and every once in a while you get a couple like Cyber that actually both use the computer...lol.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

Yeah...Especially when both of us have our own computers too! *VBG* We love meeting new people, making new friends online, as well as offline... ;-)

Interesting conversations take place...*VBG* Way to go, Julie! *VBS*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[poisonivy_44057]

Hello, the reason i got into swinging was purely...BI-CURIOSITY...now i like it because it adds a little spice when we hit stump, and i have found just talking to other couples and woman, making the plans and discussing sex with them, really turns me on I have also made a few friends threw swinging, and lost a few that were rotten apples. SO to sum things up, i do it so i can have the best of both worlds

------------------
Couple in NE Ohio ISO other couples and bi females, we love to have fun

[This message has been edited by poisonivy_44057 (edited 11-06-2000).]

Originally posted by poisonivy_44057:
....i have found just talking to other couples and woman, making the plans and discussing sex with them, really turns me on

Same here, I know whatcha mean...*VBG*

I have also made a few friends threw swinging, and lost a few that were rotten apples. SO to sum things up, i do it so i can have the best of both worlds

We too, have met lots of nice couples, made lots of new friends, whether they're capatible swinging partners or not. I love the "mutual-common ground" we have with our friends in the lifestyle! Being able to discuss our sexual desires and interests together so openly and comfortably...That's SO cool! *VBS*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[watcherone]

Doesnt it seem to you all that swinging with others lets you be the person you have to hide fromthe rest of the world. I feel so much better just having a place like this to come to and be with people who feel the same or almost the same. When you swing with another person or couple, you become like kindred spirits. You arent afraid to talk openly about sex or anything else when you are with them. One of the best times we have is always after sex with another guy. We can all sit and talk and sometimes get all excited and go after it again.
It allows us to be free of the guilt trips that society throws on us all about what is right and what society sees as wrong. It is a coming out type of thing, no more hiding in the "closet".

[JustAskJulie]

I agree that is one of the best things we've found. Even if we don't end up swinging with people we meet it provides us with new friends that we can be open with and talk about sexual things... and who knows we might me a great couple through them that we end up swinging with.

It's SO cool, to be able to chat with friends in the lifestyle about whatever is on our minds! Most of us find ourselves watching what we say or do when we're around or chatting with our non-lifestyle friends. *lol*

A few nights ago, I was chatting with a long time g/f on ICQ, whom we met about 3 yrs. ago, in the same chat room that hubby & I met in...We were chatting about relationships, sex, sex, and more of sex...*lol* And I finally asked her if she was bi/bi-curious? She answered, "Yes, very much so!" I wasn't surprised, but SHE was surprised that after chatting more on this subject, that she actually had this conversation with me, or anyone for that matter! She was so pleased that I was so open in discussing this subject with her, and that she felt so comfortable about this too...

Now THAT'S "Freedom of Speech"! *lol*


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[Stratecpl]

This is one of the nicest conversations that I've ever read, folks. I am sorry if I'm crashing into it.... LOL

As my handle implies, we're straight only. But the sentiments you've shared are kind of universal, in my book. Sharing without jealousy, enhancing our lives richly, gaining new friendships both in and out of the bedroom.... wonderful. We love this lifestyle!

And it has richly enhanced our already wonderful marriage. When we have an encounter, we share really hot sex together for at least a weel afterwards! Well, OK... we have hot sex together every night already! so that's not a real change.... but to see each other with a different partner, to hear the sounds and see the looks of ecstasy.... only those who have actually done this know the rewards.

Thanks for letting an old-fashioned guy rant here!!

Stratecpl...No problem! *lol*

My sentiments exactly...The lifestyle is an enhancement to our already AWESOME sex life! And the friendships we gain along the way, it's pretty cool to share the same interests with other couples, especially AND including SEX!


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[JustAskJulie]

HI Stratecpl
welcome to the party Looking forward to hearing more from both of you.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com